Prideview Random

Does somebody care to tell me what the hell just happened?

You know, dying this early in the morning has never exactly been one of my favorite past times.

This place is most troubling.

To stay in such an area for so long is both foolish and an act of unbalance.

Red would have a field day with what her perceives as his infamous "insults". You are all very lucky he is not here. Were he, this place would be out of business in a matter of simple seconds.

Ah, New York City. How I've missed this.

It has been far too long, I must say.

[Private to Adam]
You do realize there is a delicate balance do you not?

And out of the blue a door appeared in my little cozy place I hang my hat. I'm not sure when my world decided to form an apartment but it is a very nicely decorated one.

( Private )

Wills? You have to fix this.

I know it's dangerous. But you did it once...you can do it again.

Just...please, Wills. You have to fix this.

Angelus, you're dead. I don't care what it takes, I'm going to kill you. And I'm going to make it hurt.

Boredom comes with a price. Let's all play a game. If anyone is as bored as I am, ask me a question. Anything is up for asking, but in return, I get to ask you something about anything I choose and you have to answer.

So. Anyone care to explain to me why I can suddenly breath?

Last I remember, I was in a rather secure cell six feet under.

Georgie! Waffles?

There is so much awesome going on right now.

In the interest of full disclosure I feel the need to tell you all something important.

I died. Got shot in the chest by a psychotic doctor that almost killed Martha, I was a prat and then I died.

Then I was here.

That’s about it.

So can we go back to doing our jobs now?

I knew this would happen but that doesn’t make it any more pleasant. Cardiff is a lot nicer than New York City.

There’s so much power in these buildings, it makes my head tingle.

Captain, remember, you still owe me a favour.

What the bloody fucking hell is all this, then?!!

Gwenny- if this is some sort of Torchwood joke, you're the only one laughin'.

Why the fuck am I always the one that gets stuck with the assholes who accidentally strangle themselves while they're jerking off? For fuck's sake.

This place isn’t too bad, I suppose. There are worse places to spend my retirement than New York.

I’m Destruction and it’s nice to meet you all, I’m sure I’ll see you all around at some point.

{DEATH}

What's going on? I haven't gotten an assignment in a while, and I know the world didn't end, so I'm assuming that people are still dying.

Where've I gone and landed myself now then?

Okay seriously?

The next time I get a fucking post-it where I gotta walk up 22 flights of stairs because the fucking elevator's out (and is ironically enough the cause of death) ain't gettin done.

I don't get paid enough for that shit.

Christ I need a foot rub and a drink.

Tim! Tim Tim Tim!

Oh my goodness, Tim!

Dear all,

Harry Potter is not magic. Harry Potter is a story made up by a middle aged woman, where everything turns out shiny and good in the end. Magic is not like that. At all. There are no wands, no portkeys, and you don’t learn magic at a school called Hogwarts.

There is no Dark Lord Voldemort. The things you actually have to look out for are faeries, angels, demons, gods, goddesses, cults that want to make you their messiah as well as your garden variety mystical magical nut jobs.

Once you choose magic, there’s always a price to pay. Normally it involves some people’s deaths. Most of the time you’ll wish that you hadn’t chosen magic and instead had become something boring. Like a dentist. Dentists don’t get kidnapped to hell, not even the bad ones.

It is nothing like Harry fucking Potter.

So can everyone please shut up about it?

Love,
Tim.