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December 21st, 2008

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Fucking winter solstice.

I've still got Christmas shopping to do. The shops are going to be a bloody nightmare, aren't they?

October 7th, 2008

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Right. I haven't been using this due to the unforeseeable circumstances of actually having a life and a job. The internet had to suffer I'm afraid. So sorry about that. Really.

Lily moved in with me. Without telling me. I generally don't advise this as a relationship step, although if your boyfriend/girlfriend/pet squid is as oblivious as I am then go for it. Although if it's actually a relationship with a squid then I think you have bigger problems than just being oblivious.

Halloween in a few weeks. Something's bound to go bloody fucking mental, isn't it?

July 10th, 2008

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Yeah? Well, fuck you, too, buddy!

July 8th, 2008

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Great.

Nice new influx of crazy. And trust me, I've seen crazy.

At least I know how to defend myself.

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And out of the blue a door appeared in my little cozy place I hang my hat. I'm not sure when my world decided to form an apartment but it is a very nicely decorated one.

July 7th, 2008

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Well, well.. this is certainly an interesting development. I could have sworn I was walking to the club a few minutes ago.

Still, at least New York and Massachusetts aren't that far from each other. So.. I'm in New York City now. I guess it will have to do.

June 30th, 2008

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A History Future Lesson
By Lily L. Potter


My name is Lily Luna Potter, and I am the granddaughter of James Potter and Lily Evans. Yes, they got married. Who didn't see that coming? But that's not the point. You all seem to be in need of a history lesson. Or really, a future lesson for you guys.

James and Lily Potter were killed by Voldemort and my da became the Chosen One. Harry James Potter. The-Boy-Who-Lived. They were not, as the Ministry claimed, betrayed by Sirius Black. That is a load of idiocy. Look at my brother. His name is James SIRIUS Potter. My da my be a complete prat, but he would not name his son after the guy who killed his parents. Besides, the Ministry said it. When the hell have they ever been right about ANYTHING other than quidditch scores...and even then they fuck up sometimes. So Sirius was wrongly imprisioned for thirteen years. Then he got pardonned a while ago. But he was dead by then because Bellatrix Lestrange is a flaming hellbitch. Sorry, Sirius. It kind of sucks.

Speaking of Bellatrix. Yes, she married Rodolphus Lestrange. Birds of a crazy flock together and what not. Since she's an evil whore, she killed Sirius. She also tried to kill my mum, but my grandmum, the living one mind you, killed her. I hear it was fucking awesome. As for Narcissa, yes, you did marry Lucius Malfoy. Get the hell over it. You're both...very pretty...in an albino sort of way...if not that bright. And you had an equally pretty albino child who was equally prattish, named Draco. And he in turn had a son. Who shags my brother. It's awkward since Draco and my dad hate each other. But Albus Severus is a Slytherin, so he's a bit weird anyway.

Speaking of that, Grandpa James, shut up about him being named Severus. Severus Snape was apparently a prat with a giant nose, but he was one of the good guys. A really bastardly good guy. He was a spy for the Order and he died because Voldemort killed him and it was really bloody awful and he did a lot of good things, so stop complaining about my brother being named after him. I mean...yes, he killed Dumbledore, but Dumbledore told him to! He had to do it. I don't remember why, but he had to.

Also, Auntie Dora, Uncle Remus...oh, yeah, you guys were married. I never met either of you. I wasn't born until...oh blimey, this year...oh time travel. Anyway. You were married in a shotgun wedding sans shotguns, when Auntie Dora got up the duff. You guys got together after Dumbledore died...which was about a year or so after Sirius died to put things in timeline form. Remus was really weird about it. Always said he wasn't right for you, because he was so much older and such...but you sort of jumped him and he finally gave up, Dora. It was impressive. But you guys died in the final battle. It was really sad. Bellabitch killed Tonks and Dolohov killed Remus. Majorly sucky. You guys had a son, Teddy, who is fucking my cousin, Victoire. Auntie Dromeda raised him but he's kinda like an extra brother to me. I have a lot of cousins, because grandmum and grandda Weasley shagged like rabbits.

So, onto them. Rose and Hugo are Auntie Mione and Uncle Ron's kids. Rose is cool, and Hugo is a bit of a prat. He got his name because Mione wanted to name him Victor, after Victor Hugo, and Ron thought she meant her ex-boyfriend Viktor...it was awkward. Then there's Bill and Fleur's kids, the aforementioned Victoire, Dominique and Louis. Aunt Fleur is french, and part-Veela. And Uncle Bill has wolfish tendencies because Fenrir Greyback slashed his face up. Fleur says the scars make him look sexy. I say that's too much information from my aunt. Oh! Fenrir! He's a creepy bastard. He likes to take young boys and bite them. Take from that what you will. Uncle George married Uncle Fred's ex-girlfriend Angelina, because Fred died in the war...it was fucking awful, and they have Fred and Roxanne. And Uncle Percy and Auntie Audrey have Molly and Lucy. They're sweet but kind of quiet. And then there's me and Jamie and Albie. Oh! Charlie never married. We can't decide if he's gay or just really likes dragons.

So, that's your brief history/future lesson. If I think of more, you'll get more later. For now, just get the fuck over it. As for me, my boyfriend is actually coming off smarter than you lot right now. So I'm going to go shag him.

June 22nd, 2008

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I'm now nineteen. Oh, joy.

I had a good birthday though. Really... good. Yes, it was so good that I am unable to articulate myself properly.

For once I'm not actually being sarcastic. Mark your calenders, it doesn't happen that often.

June 9th, 2008

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Aaaaaaaaand then it all trnd oraaaaaaaaaaaangeeeeeeeee smthn somethiing and more .. orange and BRITISH stuff

1 liek ornage but what i DO NO like at all is guyz srsly


they.... are just................ stupid

c3pt 4 tim tims rockin''

May 26th, 2008

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...so, comic books.

Interesting things.

Do I really look like that?

May 25th, 2008

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Hel-looooooooooo, Prideview!

Who missed me?

May 21st, 2008

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I can't believe you...you stupid, stupid little man!

I am going to make your life miserable for this.

April 23rd, 2008

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Excuse me, I don't suppose anybody has seen a star fall near here, have they?

April 21st, 2008

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ow.

fuck.

OW.

April 14th, 2008

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Hellooooooooooo, New York.

Miss me? And Timmy, dude, you still owe me those waffles, you loser.

And FINALLY- my sister Sally's coming. And she is one hot little mama, that will probably be in need of a few dates... So! Any takers? I have pictures. Of her in bikinis. In the case you're feeling that this is all one big plot for ME to find a date.

Like, I even need this thing to get one of you? Puh-lease.

April 4th, 2008

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Okay so stupid question yeah, but um where am I and what year is it?

Also I don't suppose anyone's seen a weird looking, um lets say creature running around have they?

March 17th, 2008

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You really wanna know the best part about Easter?

You get hit on by fucking douchebags in Bunny costumes. At least with Santa, you can tell if he's at least a half-way decent looker. But no thank you, Cottontail. Keep your carrot tucked between your legs.

God, I hate people.
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