Happy Holidays! Did you think I’d forgotten about you? Never ever!

Kudos to America’s own pocket prince for throwing the most fabulous Halloween bash the Odyssey has ever seen. Clearly when you’re in costume, you can knock boots with whomever you want, wherever you want. Batman was seen with both our host and the ice princess! That boy sure does get around.

And so does the duchess, out to lunch and all cozy with an unknown beau. Where was her fiancé during this secret soiree? Too bad the paparazzi didn’t get a better picture.

There were plenty of pictures of the ginger crown prince and his new arm candy. How quickly he moved on, this time to a complete unknown. Is she something more? Or just another distraction? As the first woman to make it more than one date in years, it’d be nice to at least know her name.

We have a knight on board! All we need is a Bishop and we’re close to having a full chess set. Apparently if you save a princess, you get knighted. But if you save an assload of people and you’re just a pawn, well… you get to keep your job. Thank God. It’s sad to know how little value Management places on it’s employees. Bah Humbug.

Hey there party people! Things getting back to normal? Looks like we've received an influx of new passengers, both staff and guests. Let the fun begin!

Our favorite little Pixie and his entourage have boarded the ship-- a team of pretty boys and a beef cake that could probably break him in half. Please let this mean we have some over the top wild parties to look forward to. Yours truly might not get an invite, but it would be sure to spice things up around here.

Has Princess Trainwreck disappeared? Gone are the live tweets from the bar, the spectacular shows on how to go completely overboard in just ten steps. Accounts have been deleted, or at least shut down for now, and she's barely been spotted outside her room. Has the crown finally shut her down? Or is there some kind of rule that states only one ginger can fail at a time? It looks like it's the crown prince's turn...

Strike 1 for Prince AJ! While no one spotted the actual proposal, Viewers got an earful of Princess Fifi's epic dis and denial of the crown prince's hand in marriage. Looks like he'll have to try a little harder if he wants to win a girl's heart. Diamonds don't make up for personality flaws.

Epic coats, however, seem to win over the boys in security. Our little Teddy bear was seen leaving the Chief's room after a night of heavy partying, still glad in his fabulous attire from the night before. Apparently enough alcohol and charm will make anyone turn. Walk of shame anyone? Don't worry, bear cub, you're not alone.

De mortuis nihil nisi bonum. A moment of silence for those we lost.

Pirates. Are they all gone? Are we truly safe? What if they're still here? It's something to ponder. Be sure to lock your doors, boys and girls. But then, they're not the only things that go bump in the night.

Beware the survivors. Can we talk about the blood-drenched, knife-welding butcher that slaughtered half the pirates? You know, the one lopping people's heads off and gutting them with broken bottles. Apparently, he's still on the ship. He could be your neighbor. Terrifying, right? Be nice to strangers carrying machetes.

Someone say fire? Anyone know what happened to the Royal Club? Blood on the carpet, scorches up the walls. Take a peek in the windows. Closed for repairs doesn't even begin to cover it.

Big Damn Heroes. We have them. Security, bodyguards, idiots with guns, even the machete carrying madman. Ask around. Everyone has a story, even the crowns. Thank the person who saved your ass, if you know who they are.

That's it for now. Heavy week. Let's hope the next one is lighter. Caio.

Picking up where another left off... Now that we're back at sea, did everyone survive the stop in Salvador?

Looks like princess trainwreck and her brunette sidekick partied a little too hard and had to spend 48 hours in the drunk tank quarantine. On the plus side, she got to keep her boy toy beside her. He's got to be good for something, right?

Speaking of ginger royalty, did anyone notice that prince charming has himself a beau instead of a belle? He's been spotted canoodling with a hot little chocolate number, leaving the duchess in tears. I guess nobody told her he swings both ways.

Hitting the bottle a little too hard? Our not-a-princess must have. Or is there another explanation for her being carried home at one in the morning?

More trouble in paradise? Old money's au pair has packed her bags, leaving them high and dry. Did the little monster become too much? Or could someone not keep his hands to himself?