Dexy's Demented Diversions

Title: Cheaters Sometimes Prosper
Author: dead_sexydexy
Recipient: aragolas aka moonanddogstar for a drabble meme
Rating: hard R
Word Count: 138
Characters: Snape/Black
Warnings: dub con, mild BDSM, oral sex
Notes:OotP Era. Sirius Cheats at poker. Inspired by this Nickelback song.
Beta: plynn78
Comments and Concrit: Are always welcome.


( Cheaters Sometimes Prosper )

Title:Welcome to Eternity
Prompt:Sirius/Severus --what happens when the two meet in the afterlife?
Author: dead_sexydexy
Rating: NC-17
Word Count: ~2300
Characters: Sirius Black/Severus Snape
Warnings: frottage, semen ingestion
Notes:Written for aragolas as part of the Holiday Exchange on Immeritus.
Comments and Concrit: Are always welcome.


( Welcome to Eternity )

Title: Did you see what I did?
Prompt:phoenix_flies drabble_a_thon: #46 Did you see what I did?
Author: dead_sexydexy in dexy_demented
Rating: PG
Form: limerick
Characters:Sirius POV MWPP
Notes: (Confessions really) I totally made up the word skrill to get a rhyme. After that I did google it though. Hee!
Disclaimer: The Potterverse is not mine, I make no money from it, I don’t intend to harm it or anyone else.
Comments and Concrit: Are always welcome.




Did you see what I did?

Guys! Did you see what I did?
McGonagall nearly blew her lid
When Snivelly's quill
Turned into a skrill,
Then scurried up his nose and hid!

Title: What is he?
Prompt:phoenix_flies drabble_a_thon: #45 Inferius
Author: dead_sexydexy in dexy_demented
Rating: PG
Form: Limerick
Characters: MWPP, Snape
Notes: Sirius contemplates on Snape.
Disclaimer: The Potterverse is not mine, I make no money from it, I don’t intend to harm it or anyone else.
Comments and Concrit: Are always welcome.



What is he?

Sniv's pasty even when furious.
This, dear mates, has me curious.
Could the pale prat
Not be part bat--
But instead some sort of Inferius?

Title: Nose in a Book
Prompt:phoenix_flies drabble_a_thon: #37 Book
Author: dead_sexydexy in dexy_demented
Rating: PG
Form: Limerick
Characters: MWPP, Snape
Notes: Marauder mischief. Peter is the one who speaks.
Disclaimer: The Potterverse is not mine, I make no money from it, I don’t intend to harm it or anyone else.
Comments and Concrit: Are always welcome.


Nose in a Book

"Hey mates, over there! Look!
Snivellus, with is nose in a book."
The Marauders moved in,
Wormtail started to grin
As Pads turned Sniv's nose into a hook.

Title: Slimy Slytherin
Prompt: phoenix_flies drabble_a_thon: # 34 Parselmouth
Author: dead_sexydexy in dexy_demented
Rating: PG-13
Form: Limerick
Characters: MWPP, Snape
Notes: Sirius Pov. Mutual hatred mode.
Disclaimer: The Potterverse is not mine, I make no money from it, I don’t intend to harm it or anyone else.
Comments and Concrit: Are always welcome.


Slimy Slytherin

Slimy Slytherin scum through and through;
I despise him with hatred true.
Can't wait to hex him,
Anything to vex him.
Bet he's a Parselmouth too.

Title: Which Hex?
Prompt: phoenix_flies drabble_a_thon: #31 Water
Author: dead_sexydexy
Rating: PG-13
Form: Limerick
Characters: Sirius, Peter, Lily/James, Snape
Notes: James and Lily enjoy a romantic swim, but there's a Snape lurking in water nearby.
Disclaimer: The Potterverse is not mine, I make no money from it, I don’t intend to harm it or anyone else.
Comments and Concrit: Are always welcome.



Which Hex?

Wormtail, look down in the water.
See Snivellus? That lousy rotter!
Which hex shall I serve
That bigoted perv,
For spying on Evans and Potter?

Title: The Prank
Prompt:phoenix_flies drabble_a_thon: # 27 The point of no return
Author: dead_sexydexy in dexy_demented
Rating: PG-13
Form: Limerick
Characters: Snape, Sirius, Moony
Notes: Title pretty much says it all.
Disclaimer: The Potterverse is not mine, I make no money from it, I don’t intend to harm it or anyone else.
Comments and Concrit: Are always welcome.


The Prank

To know Moony's mystery, Snivellus did yearn.
The dangers he did not discern
When Sirius Black
Sent him to the Shack--
And he neared the point of no return.

Title: Let's Remember
Prompt:phoenix_flies drabble_a_thon: # 23 Obliviate
Author: dead_sexydexy in dexy_demented
Rating: PG-13
Form: Limerick
Characters: Sirius/Severus
Notes: MWPP Era. They've just shared a mutually satisfying, yet utterly surprising kiss. Candy to anyone who writes a ficlet or poem about how they wound up in this situation.
Disclaimer: The Potterverse is not mine, I make no money from it, I don’t intend to harm it or anyone else.
Comments and Concrit: Are always welcome.


Let's Remember

No Sev, don't use Obliviate.
I like seeing us both in this state.
I want to remember
This day in December
We shared something more than sheer hate.

Title: Why?
Prompt: phoenix_flies drabble_a_thon: #22 Fire picture prompt
Author: dead_sexydexy in dexy_demented
Rating: PG
Form: Limerick
Characters: Harry, Snape, Sirius
Notes: AU. What's the plural of Patronus? Patronuses ? Patroni ? Anyone? Anyone? I gave a quick search, but came up with nothing and didn't have time.
Disclaimer: The Potterverse is not mine, I make no money from it, I don’t intend to harm it or anyone else.
Comments and Concrit: Are always welcome.


Why?

Two Patroni~ One stag, one doe.
Protecting a friend and a foe.
The situation dire,
Black escaped the fire.
Snape's motivation? We'll never know.

(Wild speculation about Snape's motivation welcome!)

Title: Jeers and Sneers
Prompt: phoenix_flies drabble_a_thon: # 20 "I enjoyed the meetings, too. It was like having friends."--Luna Lovegood
Author: dead_sexydexy in dexy_demented
Rating: PG-13
Form: Limerick
Characters: Sirius, Snape
Notes: OotP Era
Disclaimer: The Potterverse is not mine, I make no money from it, I don’t intend to harm it or anyone else.
Comments and Concrit: Are always welcome.


Jeers and Sneers

"I know why you like these meetings," Black jeered.
"Oh really, do tell then," Snape sneered.
"With interaction, it begins
To seem you have friends."
Albus sighed, they were worse than he'd feared.

Title: A Romantic Stroll
Prompt: phoenix_flies drabble_a_thon: #12 Pictue Prompt
Author: dead_sexydexy in dexy_demented
Rating: PG
Form: Limerick
Characters: Snape/Black, but not really.
Warnings Crossdressing!Snape.
Notes: AU OotP. Snape gets assigned to watch over Sirius so he can get out of the house now and then. It's Sirius' turn to decide on their disguises. They're an elderly couple, still in love. :p
Disclaimer: The Potterverse is not mine, I make no money from it, I don’t intend to harm it or anyone else.
Comments and Concrit: Are always welcome.


A Romantic Stroll

It's a beautiful night for a stroll.
Smile, 'still in love' is our goal.
Now please do be grand,
And hold my hand.
You look stunning in Gran Longbottom's stole.

*blows off dust*

The next 50-ish entries will be individual limericks written to prompts from phoenix_flies last drabble-a-thon. I wanted to particiapte, but it fell on a really busy weekend so I decided to use the prompts to write limericks. All of these are G-PG-13 and all have something to do with Sirius Black. When I've posted each poem individually, I plan to go back and post a masterlist-- hopefully with the poems grouped chronologically according to canon. For now, I'm just posting each in order of the prompt number.


Title: Alohomora
Prompt: phoenix_flies drabble_a_thon: #1 Alohomora
Author: dead_sexydexy in dexy_demented
Rating: PG
Form: Limerick
Characters: Sirius, Snape
Notes: Marauder Era
Disclaimer: The Potterverse is not mine, I make no money from it, I don’t intend to harm it or anyone else.
Comments and Concrit: Are always welcome.

Alohomora

"Alohomora," Sirius spoke.
Hidden by James' trusty cloak.
Levitating a pail
That without fail
Would give Snivellus a much needed soak.