Dexy's Demented Diversions

Title: Birthdays and Broomsticks
Prompt:Little Harry, riding his broom around the house, any genre
Author: dead_sexydexy
Rating: G, fluff
Word Count: ~2100
Characters: Harry, Lily, James, Bathilda Bagshot, and a broomstick sent by one Sirius Black
Warnings: Ugly vases destroyed, a cat unintentionally terrorized, a one-year-old with vocabulary and enunciation that are a wee bit advanced for the sake of easier reading.
Notes: written for Negroperro as part of the Holiday Exchange on Immeritus.
Beta: plynn78
Comments and Concrit: Are always welcome.


( Birthdays and Broomsticks )

Title: Family Secrets
Prompt: Sirius/ Albus Severus
Author: dead_sexydexy Dexy
Rating: NC-17
Word Count: 2,100~
Pairings: past James/Sirius, imagined Albus/Sirius, hints of future real Albus/Sirius
Warnings: handjobs, blowjobs, masturbation, butt plugs, boy!sex, and chronic overuse of the words fuck and fucker by one James Potter.
Notes: This fails at direct Sirius/Albus, but the prompt promptly fed me a bunny of novella to novel length proportions that I just didn't have time to write. *pokes real life* I'm a huge Marauder Era hor and the contents of James' diary and Al's reaction to them were something I really wanted to write down.
Further Notes: A very Gen, G rated bit of back story is here: Marauders: The Next Generation.
Disclaimer: The Potterverse is not mine, I make no money from it, I don’t intend to harm it or anyone else.
Comments and Concrit: Are always welcome.
Dubious thanks: to my lazy ass beta. AKA Mr. Dexy. I blame him completely for any technical errors left in this.:p

( Family Secrets )

Title: One Last Walk
Prompt: phoenix_flies drabble_a_thon: #43-d Shore
Author: dead_sexydexy in dexy_demented
Rating: PG
Form: Limerick
Characters: MWPP
Warnings: I cried when I wrote this, knowing how everything turns out.
Notes: MWPP 7th year
Disclaimer: The Potterverse is not mine, I make no money from it, I don’t intend to harm it or anyone else.
Comments and Concrit: Are always welcome.


One Last Walk

One last walk on the shore;
Arm in arm, Marauders four.
As war draws near
We fight past our fear.
Loyal friends forevermore.

Title: Runes
Prompt: phoenix_flies drabble_a_thon: #43-c Purple Poodles and the Rising Moon
Author: dead_sexydexy in dexy_demented
Rating: PG
Form: Limerick
Characters: MWPP
Notes: Sirius is tired of Remus studying and tampers with some runes Remus is trying to translate.
Disclaimer: The Potterverse is not mine, I make no money from it, I don’t intend to harm it or anyone else.
Comments and Concrit: Are always welcome.


Runes

Guys, I need help with this rune.
O.W.L.S. are coming soon.
Strangest I've seen--
What couldthis mean?
"Purple poodles and the rising moon."

Title: Honeyduke's finest
Prompt: phoenix_flies drabble_a_thon: # 43-b Honeyduke's finest
Author: dead_sexydexy in dexy_demented
Rating: PG
Form: Limerick
Characters:MWPP
Warnings: Improper use of suffixes.
Notes: It's Moony's birthday and the rest of the Marauders want to get him a present.
Disclaimer: The Potterverse is not mine, I make no money from it, I don’t intend to harm it or anyone else.
Comments and Concrit: Are always welcome.


Honeyduke's Finest

As mates go, Moony's the divine-est.
He even tries to refine us.
To celebrate his day
In a most special way
Will require loads of Honeyduke's Finest.

Title: Which Hex?
Prompt: phoenix_flies drabble_a_thon: #31 Water
Author: dead_sexydexy
Rating: PG-13
Form: Limerick
Characters: Sirius, Peter, Lily/James, Snape
Notes: James and Lily enjoy a romantic swim, but there's a Snape lurking in water nearby.
Disclaimer: The Potterverse is not mine, I make no money from it, I don’t intend to harm it or anyone else.
Comments and Concrit: Are always welcome.



Which Hex?

Wormtail, look down in the water.
See Snivellus? That lousy rotter!
Which hex shall I serve
That bigoted perv,
For spying on Evans and Potter?

Title: Friends with Benefits
Prompt: phoenix_flies drabble_a_thon: #29 L'amitie by Pablo Picasso
Author: dead_sexydexy in dexy_demented
Rating: PG-13
Form: Limerick
Characters: Sirius/James
Notes: James is a bit worried about his close relationship with Sirius when he still loves Lily.
Disclaimer: The Potterverse is not mine, I make no money from it, I don’t intend to harm it or anyone else.
Comments and Concrit: Are always welcome.




Friends with Benefits


Hey there's no need to fear.
We've pass to an new frontier.
Just friends with benefits,
There'll be no regrets.
That's all that's going on here.

Title: Passes for Glasses?
Prompt:phoenix_flies drabble_a_thon: #28 Broken Glasses
Author: dead_sexydexy in dexy_demented
Rating: PG
Form: Limerick
Characters: MWPP
Notes: Early first year, before MWPP discover all the passages out of the school to Hogsmeade.
Disclaimer: The Potterverse is not mine, I make no money from it, I don’t intend to harm it or anyone else.
Comments and Concrit: Are always welcome.


Passes for Glasses?

Professor, may we please have some passes?
We need to help James buy new glasses.
Peter had some notions,
Experimented in potions--
And they melted in masses of gasses.

Title: Eternal Glory
Prompt: phoenix_flies drabble_a_thon: # 19 Eternal Glory
Author: dead_sexydexy in dexy_demented
Rating: PG-13
Form: Limerick
Characters:MWPP
Notes: 7th year. Marauders have a few butterbeers *cough* and remember the good times.
Disclaimer: The Potterverse is not mine, I make no money from it, I don’t intend to harm it or anyone else.
Comments and Concrit: Are always welcome.


Eternal Glory

For generations they'll retell our story:
How we brilliantly pursued our quarry.
No missed opportunity-
We Marauded with impunity.
Yes, we're destined for eternal glory!

Title: Blasphemy in the Fountain
Prompt: phoenix_flies drabble_a_thon: #17 Fountain
Author: dead_sexydexy in dexy_demented
Rating: PG
Form: Limerick
Characters: MWPP Era None really, but James and Sirius did this.
Notes: Fed up with the discrimination against werewolves, James and Sirius break into the Ministry of Magic for their own form of protest.
Disclaimer: The Potterverse is not mine, I make no money from it, I don’t intend to harm it or anyone else.
Comments and Concrit: Are always welcome.


Blasphemy in the Fountain

Something's amiss at the ministry.
Whispers of scandalous travesty.
There, in the fountain;
Atop a small mountain
Is a werewolf for all to see.

Title: Brilliant!
Prompt: phoenix_flies drabble_a_thon: #14 The Cloak of Invisibility
Author: dead_sexydexy in dexy_demented
Rating: PG
Form: Limerick
Characters: MWPP (Sirius is the one who speaks.)
Notes: I really wondered if James would have had the cloak in his possession at 11. Then I decided Dumbledore gave it to Harry at that age, so why not. This is all for giggles anyway.
Disclaimer: The Potterverse is not mine, I make no money from it, I don’t intend to harm it or anyone else.
Comments and Concrit: Are always welcome.


Brilliant!

"It's the most brilliant thing ever, Jamie!"
The Marauders all nodded with glee.
As they watched the first year
Completely disappear
Under his Cloak of Invisibility.

Title: What's the Point?
Prompt: phoenix_flies drabble_a_thon: # 13 "Vot is the point of being an international Quidditch player if all the good-looking girls are taken?"--Viktor Krum
Author: dead_sexydexy in dexy_demented
Rating: PG-13
Form: Limerick
Characters: Sirius, James (Sirius/James if you choose to interpret it that way. I do.)
Notes: Siri-fied Viktor's quote. Sirius only agreed to play Quidditch to help his love life. (Like he needed help.)
Disclaimer: The Potterverse is not mine, I make no money from it, I don’t intend to harm it or anyone else.
Comments and Concrit: Are always welcome.


What's the Point?

What's the point of playing Quidditch?
When in my plan there's a hitch.
How can I score?
After practice I'm sore.
And Hooch says don't snog on the Pitch!

Title: Appeasing Moony
Prompt: phoenix_flies drabble_a_thon: #11 Fizzing Whizzbees
Author: dead_sexydexy in dexy_demented
Rating: PG
Form: Limerick
Characters: Sirius/Remus
Warnings: Misuse of limerick rhyme scheme.
Notes: Sirius has made Remus angry *again* and wants to make amends.
Disclaimer: The Potterverse is not mine, I make no money from it, I don’t intend to harm it or anyone else.
Comments and Concrit: Are always welcome.


Appeasing Moony

Moony's angry, I need to appease.
He acts like I'm covered in fleas.
Fanged Frisbees?
Fizzing Whizzbees?
Or me, on bended knees?

Title: Bloody Sunlight
Prompt: phoenix_flies drabble_a_thon: #9 sunlight
Author: dead_sexydexy in dexy_demented
Rating: PG-13
Form: Limerick
Characters: MWPP (Moony is in the hospital wing with Madame Pomfrey)
Notes: The morning after a particularly difficult full moon.
Disclaimer: The Potterverse is not mine, I make no money from it, I don’t intend to harm it or anyone else.
Comments and Concrit: Are always welcome.


Bloody Sunlight

"Someone block that cursed window.
Bloody sunlight's causing me woe,"
Sirius moaned.
Pete and James groaned,
"We're in the same state, don'tchaknow?"

Title: Rainstorm in the Great Hall
Prompt: phoenix_flies drabble_a_thon: #7 thunderstorm (I left out the thunder/lightening)
Author: dead_sexydexy in dexy_demented
Rating: PG-13
Form: Limerick
Word Count:
Characters: Sirius, James, various Hogwarts students
Notes: MWPP mischief
Disclaimer: The Potterverse is not mine, I make no money from it, I don’t intend to harm it or anyone else.
Comments and Concrit: Are always welcome.

Rainstorm in the Great Hall

Pads and Prongs yowled with delight.
The Great Hall, a rain soaked sight.
For they'd managed to form
An indoor storm
After turning the girl's robes white!

Title: A Gift for Mum
Prompt:phoenix_flies drabble_a_thon: #2 Charing Cross Road
Author: dead_sexydexy in dexy_demented
Rating: PG-13
Form: Limerick
Characters: MWPP
Notes: The boys got together during the summer. After spending a day in Muggle London, Sirius decided he wanted to buy his dear Mum a present.
Disclaimer: The Potterverse is not mine, I make no money from it, I don’t intend to harm it or anyone else.
Comments and Concrit: Are always welcome.


A Gift for Mum

Here we are, Charing Cross Road.
What say we take off a load?
Pop in at the Cauldron,
Drain a pint for fun.
Then we'll surprise Mum with this toad.

Title: I'll Never Smoke Reefer with Padfoot Again
Author: dead_sexydexy in dexy_demented
Rating: PG-13
Form: Filk
Word Count
Characters: Remus, James, Sirius. James and Remus POV. Pretty gen, but there could be slash if you squint
Warnings drug use and drool
Notes: Based on the song I'll Never Smoke Weed with Willie Again by Toby Keith.
Disclaimer: The Potterverse is not mine, I make no money from it, I don’t intend to harm it or anyone else. Ditto the song.
Comments




I'll Never Smoke Reefer with Padfoot Again

I always heard that his dope was top shelf.
And Merlin I just could not wait to find out for myself.
"Don't knock it til' you tired it." Well I tried it my friend.
I'll never smoke reefer with Padfoot again.

Now we learned a hard lesson in a small U.K. town,
He rolled up a doobie and past it around.
The last words I spoke before they tucked me in,
(I may go on a Yeti hunt)
But I'll never smoke reefer with Padfoot again.

I'll never smoke reefer with Padfoot again.
My party's all over before it begins.
You can pour me some of Ogden's finest my friend,
But I'll never smoke reefer with Padfoot again

We hopped on his new bike. Into the sky we rose.
The party was London, it was after Stubby's show.
Alone in the night sky just me and him,
I took one parting toke and Padfoot started to grin.

I'll never smoke reefer with Padfoot again.
My party's all over before it begins.
You can pour me some of Ogden's finest my friend,
But I'll never smoke reefer with Padfoot again.

(Lets go down to Hogsmeade guys.)

Now we're passing the guitar, we're telling good jokes.
I can tell ones a-comin' cause I'm smelling the smoke.
No I do not partake, I just let it pass by,
With a grin on my face and a great contact high.

I'll never smoke reefer with Padfoot again.
My party's all over before it begins.
You can pour me some of Ogden's finest my friend,
But I'll never smoke reefer with Padfoot again.

In the fetal position with drool on our chins…
We broke down and smoked reefer with Padfoot again.

Title: Outstanding
Author: dead_sexydexy in dexy_demented
Rating: R
Form: Poetry, 2 stanza limerick
Characters: Lily/James, Lily/Sirius
Warnings: infidelity, masturbation, bragging of prowess in oral sex
Disclaimer: The Potterverse is not mine, I make no money from it, I don’t intend to harm it or anyone else.
Comments: are outstanding!


(  Outstanding )

Title: Lucky Me!
Author: dead_sexydexy in dexy_demented
Rating: R
Form: Limerick
Characters: Sirius/Lily/James
Warnings: het threesome, silly names for body parts, curling toes
Disclaimer: The Potterverse is not mine, I make no money from it, I don’t intend to harm it or anyone else.
Comments: Curl my toes too.


( Lucky Me! )

Title:Caught Shagging
Challenge: REPOST on pervy_werewolf
Author: dead_sexydexy in dexy_demented
Rating: R
Form: Poetry, Limerick
Characters: Remus/Sirius, James and Remus/Sirius/James
Kinks: voyeurism, threesome
Notes The original was written years ago, but not so pervy. I offer 2 revised versions now.
Disclaimer: The Potterverse is not mine, I make no money from it, I don’t intend to harm it or anyone else.
Comments: are love


( Caught Shagging )