War Is Coming Communications.

MY PARENTS ARE KIDNAPPING ME, HELP!!!!

My mom wants "family" time! Is this even legal when they're not even family yet??

Someone save me! Call me with an emergency. You're missing limbs. Your kitten is stuck in a tree. Your appendix just burst. I don't care, just SAVE ME! This is going to be SO. AWKWARD!

Edited: I've just been rickrolled. Oh my god.

Mom
Are you okay? You said he attacked you with magic earlier? I didn't believe you. I thought something else must have...but if there were effects

Family filter (but not Loki, go away Loki)
Have you found him?

Patrick
You were
I
Are you
Thank you
I can't
I don't know if you're aware, but your mom had her hands all over me last night.

Has anybody else had loved ones acting a little weird today?

[Needy and Thor]
Something is up with Loki, I don't think it's normal him.

He woke up this morning and freaked out on me He seemed to not think I could be me. And he used his magic and hurled me against a wall.


[Tessa]
Stay away from your dad, okay? Something weird is going on and he's not himself.

I should be having tea right now. I really should be. It's wrong not to have tea.

If my mom or dad ask, we were in Tokyo seeing a Japanese horror flick that gets grabbed up by Hollywood a few years from now. There's one playing now called [insert random name here]. I don't know if it gets remade later, but it doesn't really matter.

So hey, anyone else think this week's in the running for one of the weirdest weeks ever?

Hey, kiddos. I'm Needy LESNICKI. Let me know if you need anything, alright? And because I know how some of the people around here are, I'll go ahead and tell you guys, too. No, I will not score drugs or booze for you. Or porn. Including you, Briankid. I expect all these things cause you look just like Nath Dear, god, that's terrifying.

The renovations on my palace have reached a stage of near-completion, and since we seem to have quite a larger number of 'teens' in this city at the moment, it seems this would be a rather good time for a party.

The address is [address!]. It will begin tomorrow night at nightfall. There will be music (I have acquired a servant known as a 'DJ' who tells me he has the 'hottest beats dog' though I don't really know what beating dogs has to do with who will be operating the musical devices), various beverages, and a banquet prepared by my servants.

If anyone is 'grounded' and would like to come, I'm sure there are various 'teleporters' around who may be willing to help - does anyone volunteer to do so? If you need to give your guardians information about the event you may tell them it is 'chaperoned', if you wish - I have my guards standing by in case something should go wrong.

If you wish to invite someone that might not be on this filter, use caution. I do not expect this party to be 'crashed' by anyone looking to cause trouble, or attempting to ruin it. This is meant to be a fun evening, and I will be VERY displeased if anything goes wrong.

Woah. Go out of town for a couple days and it's Kidsplosion 2012. None of you guys are mine right? Please say no

Enjoying our little visit, are we?

I do hope you all understand that abducting me from Asgard will only result in your deaths.

Why the hell is everyone filtering against my Dad? What's wrong with all of you, being such bastards?

Hell of a day to skip school for a Zipperhead show. Turns out the venue was a stoner hostel in 2012.

[Filtered to friends/family from the future]
Nobody break time. Everything we do here could unmake somebody we know. So please, please be careful with what you do and what you say.

[Filtered to Mel and Adam]
Let's get the awkward over with. Hi, mom and dad. I'm Patrick.

[Additional filter added later] [Filtered to Winchesterkids]
You guys maybe already figured it out, but just in case, Samantha and I were talking and we realized we're all probably Vessels. So if you start having any freakier-than-normal dreams, it's probably something you should speak up about, and we're going to need to be extra careful not to draw attention to ourselves.

I did it, it was all me! Feel free to shower me with your compliments now.

Before anyone asks: no, it wasn't me.