| |
[Dec. 24th, 2009|12:35 am] |
Apparently I'm a MILF? Thanks random construction worker! |
|
|
| |
[Dec. 4th, 2009|09:59 am] |
There's been some questions lately being asked, and no, guys, I don't do anal piercings. At least, not like that. I draw the line at wieners and labia. Thanks. Speaking of which, jewelry at both my stores is 20% off this week.
Hey sugartits, the kid's vacation starts next week. Do we even have any plans involving that? |
|
|
| Voice Post |
[Nov. 21st, 2009|08:22 pm] |
What fresh hell is this? I thought I made it implicitly clear that taunting the blind man is not chic. |
|
|
| |
[Nov. 9th, 2009|10:44 pm] |
Normally I would not object so strongly to being taken to a new world, however I was rather... in the middle of something prior to my most untimely departure.
Does anyone mind explaining what's gone on to a rather confused elf? |
|
|
| |
[Nov. 2nd, 2009|02:49 pm] |
Friends Romans, countrymen and family (and various and sundry other hangers-on): My son, Henry M. Stillman was born at roughly 2pm yesterday, November 1st.
According to the attending midwife, he's as healthy as they come, and is currently sleeping once more. He's got his mother's hair and eyes and his father's squawk. |
|
|
| |
[Oct. 30th, 2009|02:33 pm] |
Going Backstage now, don't worry if you don't see me before Monday.
Worry if you don't see me before Tuesday.
Sadako, you'll know when I need you. |
|
|
| |
[Oct. 16th, 2009|07:38 pm] |
Whoever's responsible for the herd of manatees across the bed? Cute, but you're still disowned. |
|
|
| Official Statement to the Press |
[Sep. 29th, 2009|02:58 am] |
Today, a certain minority of fans of Dethklok chose to express their enthusiasm about the new album's release in a tragic and unprecedented manner. This was not our intention. It is our wish to extend our deepest sympathies to the victims of these actions. Actions which we do not condone, endorse, or encourage in any way. These individuals are not affiliated with Dethklok or the company as a whole. They do not represent any of the band's members, employees, or any other entities associated with the company.
We urge the media and the press to view these acts as individual and random, and not a widespread epidemic. The music is not dangerous. It is created simply to be enjoyed, like all music. And as with anything created, there will always be a few who would perceive within it a message that simply does not exist, and take that to the extreme. With the internet these false ideas can be exchanged and mutated even further, made larger than it would seem to be possible.
We hope these matters are resolved quickly by the proper authorities, and that those few who have taken it upon themselves to act out in this way receive the help they need.
|
|
|
| |
[Sep. 22nd, 2009|07:18 pm] |
Anybody want to try and convince the pregnant woman that she shouldn't kill the new recruits for being idiots? |
|
|
| |
[Sep. 15th, 2009|12:14 am] |
I need something to do, something to hit. |
|
|
| |
[Aug. 13th, 2009|03:53 pm] |
People seriously need to stop telling me what I can't do just because I'm knocked up. Especially when it pertains to my goddamn coffee.
In totally unrelated requests: Does anyone know how to remove a kitchen knife from a wall stud without knocking out the wall? |
|
|
| |
[Jul. 28th, 2009|10:09 am] |
Attention Moms' Club ladies
Since we have yet to have an official kick-off of this thing, I propose a trip to the London Zoo Night event, get to know each other, have some fun out of the icky summertime weather. Of course older siblings, significant others, grown children and other assorted assistants are welcome as well, just because we're a moms club doesn't mean we're exclusively moms, right? |
|
|
| |
[Jul. 22nd, 2009|12:25 pm] |
It's been brought to my attention that I'm apparently 'sulking' and 'should get out more.'
Here I thought I just wasn't imposing my bad mood on anyone else and being all courtious and stuff. So much for that.
Anyone want to take the potentially-cranky pregnant woman out for lunch? |
|
|
| |
[Jul. 17th, 2009|03:26 am] |
I seem to have landed a part in a film. I was unaware that I am marginally popular here in Japan, and because of my background in theatre, the audition went very well. I will be playing the role of a woman whose boyfriend is diagnosed with a terminal illness. It is somewhat ironic for me to be playing this part. However, the sorrow of loss - that I can do. That is all I can do, sometimes. |
|
|
| |
[Jul. 15th, 2009|12:23 pm] |
The next person to make a helpful suggestion that I might want something else for breakfast when I already have a perfectly good stack of cupcakes might get worse than a coffee mug to the head. |
|
|
| |
[Jul. 2nd, 2009|07:34 pm] |
Ugh.
Going to sleep until things stop aching. |
|
|
| |
[Jun. 19th, 2009|02:48 pm] |
So far being married is much the same as being engaged, just with an extra side of 'you can't tell me what to do, I'm your wife now' |
|
|
| |
[Jun. 17th, 2009|02:16 pm] |
Hey sugartits, you want to go to Vegas? |
|
|
| |
[Jun. 15th, 2009|08:52 am] |
Honestly, if there's one thing that this affliction's good for, is that other undead things really don't pay much mind to us. It's far easier to run them through, that way.
Though this does beg the question of where they're all coming from. I've looked for a source point, but they just seem to be coming out of nowhere. Perhaps the lot of them are being vortexed in from an alternate reality where there's an overabundance of zombies?
Whatever the cause, if you've got any need for protection against the undead, I've got a bunch of talismans made up, and I'm willing to sell them to anyone, reasonably priced at 50 pounds a piece. |
|
|
| |
[Jun. 7th, 2009|09:33 pm] |
So I'm definitely showing now. Even wearing normal clothes. Guess I'll have to make sure that the 'you touchy, I bitey' one is clean the next time I have to go to the store. Freakin' old ladies. |
|
|
| |
[Jun. 4th, 2009|12:32 am] |
Othnar? Do you have any vacation time? We should go somewhere for a little while. (I've sort of wanted to swimming back home home for a while. I know a place we could rent just on the beach.)
Daddy, um. Can I come get a hug?
OH OH OH OH I WANT PEANUT BRITTLE OMFG DELICIOUS PEANUTS IN. um. Brittle. |
|
|
| |
[May. 26th, 2009|12:01 pm] |
I have just solved the following cases. You have no need to thank me, but I'm letting all of you who have been working on them know.
- Zodiac Murders
- Bible John Murders
- Stoneman Murders
- The disappearance and retrieval of the remains of Amelia Earhart
- The disappearance and retrieval of the remains of Michael Rockefeller
- The disappearance and retrieval of the living Madeline McCann'
A portion of the reward money has gone to charity.
Thank you for your time,
L |
|
|
| |
[May. 21st, 2009|02:46 pm] |
Okay, anybody I previously roped into snack duty? It's go time. |
|
|
| |
[May. 12th, 2009|03:55 pm] |
I am - sorry to those I deafened. I wasn't thinking and lost control of myself for the first time in sixty years.
My sincerest apologies. If anyone needs mending, please let me know. |
|
|
| |
[May. 8th, 2009|05:00 pm] |
Soooo.... I've been thinking.
Shut up. It is NOT scary.
I'm currently Muse of Singing, and Dramatic Tragedy. And I'm pretty good at it... You know, lots of experience, and all that.
But I've also been inspiring other stuff, lately. At first I was all "Eek! Sister will be mad!" But THEN I realized I'm the only Muse here.
So I have been thinking of taking on new duties. I don't want Epic poetry, or history, or hymns, or astrology or any of my sisters' jobs, because if they show up, I don't want a fight And no matter what Polyhymnia says, there's nothing fun about hymns, except singing them. Because singing anything is fun. Also, Clio is bossy, and Euterpe has a mean right hook.
But there's a gazillion new things out there I could inspire. Like... Mad Science. Fan Fiction. I don't know...
Gimme ideas?
And no, I have NOT had a lot of sugar or coffee today. Not at all. Nope. >.> |
|
|
| |
[Apr. 26th, 2009|11:47 am] |
My awesome wife - that I knocked up on the third try - is finally showing. It's pretty neat, and weirdly hot. Being a dad rocks.
So does cold pizza. And you can't have any. |
|
|
| |
[Apr. 22nd, 2009|07:03 pm] |
Yeah, I don't care what day it is. Unless it's brutal, I don't appreciate it.
We should have Blood Appreciation Day. Not only is it metal, it's apparently also useful. And important. To live. And it makes an awesome fountain. And it rhymes with a lot.
So. Uhhhhhhh. Yeah. Appreciate it. |
|
|
| |
[Apr. 6th, 2009|07:21 pm] |
Word travels at the speed of a snail so I just now realized that my daughter in law was just conceived a month or so ago?
So here's some helpful tips for the parents to be. It's actually quite helpful. Seriously. |
|
|
| |
[Apr. 6th, 2009|09:15 am] |
This made my day.
Back to being one with myself. It was fun while it lasted. Anyone want to come by the diner for coffee later? I'm on break early in the evening, and would love some company. |
|
|
| |
[Mar. 29th, 2009|11:36 pm] |
So, I thought it was a fluke the first time, but it wasn't. Apparently I'm a walking polygraph, which is turning out to be far more entertaining than I first expected. |
|
|
| |
[Mar. 24th, 2009|02:11 pm] |
So it's all over now, right?
I don't see any more panicking in the streets.
EDIT: So, this calls for Guitar Hero and beer. Sam, Dean, Ed, I'm looking at you guys. |
|
|
| |
[Mar. 12th, 2009|04:55 pm] |
Is it normal for me at this point to just not want to move? I've been in bed almost all day, reading. I'm not used to not doing something. I feel I should still be fighting something. |
|
|
| |
[Mar. 4th, 2009|01:35 pm] |
Is it really THIS common for fans to send you their knickers? |
|
|
| |
[Feb. 26th, 2009|12:04 am] |
So. I'm pregnant. Still not entirely sure what to think about that.
Basically what this means is that those of you who've met Henriette will be able to watch her gestation period, so to speak.
What it also means is for those of you who know my particular line of work, I'll only be taking jobs personally for the next few months, after that I'll be delegating, that's what I've got a Guild for, apparently. |
|
|
| |
[Jan. 31st, 2009|09:40 am] |
Ever since I found that store, They've stayed Their distance.
Odd. |
|
|
| |
[Jan. 30th, 2009|02:03 pm] |
So apparently no matter how many times I tell people 'yes, I'll be fine' they don't believe me. It's not like I'm sneaking off to wrestle a gator again it's just a sparring match for chrissakes! You know, the kind of thing that I survive all the time?
Yeah, I know, stitches aren't fun, but whatever, if I need more than a few of those clearly I'm doing something wrong, and I don't do that.
Anybody have any suggestions on better ignoring tactics than 'la la la I can't hear you la la la'? |
|
|
| |
[Jan. 29th, 2009|08:48 am] |
To All Who Didn't Age-Jump
As long as y'don' publish or sell whatever blackmail y've got from last week, dey can't legally sue you for libel.
I warn you, dey can still exact creative poetic vengeance. But "I was a different age" is not a valid alibi in court. |
|
|
| |
[Jan. 24th, 2009|12:52 pm] |
( Sadako ) |
|
|