Pax Letale

When you get out of work make sure you stop by my apartment and bring Jack with you!

( Waiting for Charlie/Jack at Rylee's apartment )

Happy birthday, asshole.

Oorah, babe! :D I took off work today for the Corps birthday and they didn't schedule me for tomorrow because of Veteran's day. Are you off? I got a twelve pack of beer. We should celebrate, if you know what I mean. :)

Hello everyone! I wanted to formerly well, sending this as a group message might not be that formal invite you all to my apartment on Thanksgiving, if you happen to not have any other plans. I'm hoping to try and make a Thanksgiving meal and it would be wonderful if you could all join Charlie and myself. The more the merrier! We can have the meal in the evening or late afternoon, whichever would work better for you all. I just wanted to send out a message now so that I can figure out how big the turkey needs to be before the big date!

( i like for you to be still )

[ Rylee has this playing as a gentle way to wake up Charlie after he gets home and discovers her taking a nap on his couch. ]

( Wakey wakey )

So, if you haven't noticed yet, there is currently a 30-ft  horse trailer parked catty-cornered across the drive.  It may be blocking some cars from getting out.

It's mine.  I call her the Monster.

What you don't realize is that rather bedraggled-looking trailer contains all of my worldly belongings, including a lot of boxes.  One of those boxes is full to bursting with packing peanuts, which are in turn carefully swaddling a bottle of Borgogno Barolo Riserva 1955, a bottle of Jean Grosperrin 1958, and a selection of midwestern beers and wines.  Whoever unpacks that box gets to keep it, and I'll provide for any other brave volunteers from the rest of my supply.

That's right, I'm bribing people to help me unpack in the middle of the night with fine booze.  And possibly pizza.  Is there a place with reasonably unburnt crusts that delivers around here?

If you want to take me up on the offer, I'll be the fellow lugging boxes up to 507. And furniture too, if nobody responds to my siren call of pizza, booze, and not being able to drive their car in the morning.

Sorry about that.  It was the only place I could park her.  Also, hello.

-Richard Wainwright

Hey... you never came back from your shift on Friday. Just wanted to know if you were interested in coming over? We could watch some tv and eat. But I still can't eat much solid food.

[loud enough for the entire first floor to hear]

Note with present:
Charlie,

I just wanted to thank you for all the work you did with my apartment yesterday. I hope you enjoy your gift. Remember, it's just a joke.

( PS: I paid double so that even if you close the door on him, he;ll just go and dance outside your window. So just let him do his thing!! )

Lee, what the hell did you do to the inside of my apartment? ALL THE PICTURES ARE CROOKED. Do you know how long it took me to make sure everything was even and straight!? I said I was sorry for sticking you in the closet!!!

Dickhead - tomorrow is Ry's birthday. Don't buy him any more fuckin' strippers. Something nice, if you know what that is.

@11:30 AM, Sunday July 17th

Hey, you want to come over and watch that show Teen Wolf? Remember when we watched the 80's movie as kids? Wonder if it's the same. We can get some tacos and drinks if you'd like.

To the guy that I kicked in the balls at 3:30 this morning, I'm not sorry.

To everyone else: make noise at 3:30 in the morning when you're entering the building and I will take action. Be a jackass about it, and I'll take even more action.

Protect your balls! Don't be an asshole!

Again to everyone else: Hi, I'm Toli, just moved into the place. Be nice to me, and I'll be nice to you. It's like MAD, yeah?

I've decided to host a casual get together at my place next weekend. Seeing as I am still rather new to the area, I can't think of a better way to acquaint myself with people in the area.It also lets me assess those of you to see who could possibly prove to be valuable in the future.

Everything will be provided, all you have to do is show up. It will be next Saturday at 7:30 pm, till whenever. As I said, it's very casual, nothing fancy, just come as you are Literally. Make this easy on me

If you plan to attend, do let me know so I can make sure there is enough to eat and drink for everyone. And I do hope you plan to attend. I don't want to have to do this often.

Hello everyone!!! I went on a bit of a baking fit and made far too many brownies. Max and I won't be able to finish them and I don't want them to go bad so I was hoping you all would be interested in having some! They're vegan, just so you know, but still really chocolaty and awesome!

So please stop by, you're all welcome to take as many as you'd like.

( Yum yummy! )

Happy Father's Day, everybody. (This one's good for Mother's Day, too - a versatile kind of e-greeting.)

( Thanks, Dad. )

I don't know who the FUCK decided to let themselves into my apartment today, but I have some very good ideas. You owe me a six pack for the two beers you drank - and do not bring some cheap hipster ass motherfucking PBR to my door - and if you touch my fucking PS3 again, I will hunt you down and break your goddamned fingers and call it in as self defense during a home invasion. Sack up and pay me back now and we can all act like this never happened. I hope I make myself really fucking clear, 701 and 703.

Oh, god. I was hoping to live here completely unnoticed.

Hello, fellow inmates of social monetary constraints.  To be honest, I would not be posting this here, but my boss begged me to find some help.  There is a business called Clean Sweep Cleaning.  CSC is not a housekeeping service, banish the idea from your mind right now. It is not for the weak of heart or stomach.  CSC does crime scene and disaster clean up. Google it. If you feel up to the job, call 123-456-7890 and do not mention my name or ask for a reference from me if you actually want to be hired.

When the building changed, I went around with my camera and took photos of every floor. I just got those pictures back. Like everything else, the changes had disappeared. I guess this leaves a Mass Hypnosis effect as the only theory remaining...

Hair is pink now.

( Sylvia Plath - Mad Girl's Love Song )

Boredom doesn't sit well with me. I'm starting to go stir-crazy. I need to shoot something. Legally would be better.

Anyone for paintball?


**EDIT: Looks like a building party to me. Let's meet around 5:30 PM on Friday at [insert outdoor paintball venue and corresponding address here]. SHOW NO MERCY.

P.S. I'm feeling generous, so if anyone wants to meet afterward at Bottoms Up Tavern around 8PM, I'll buy the first round. That goes double for the paintball fiends.