Dunmoody

Nobody freak out, but my entire street appears to be... well, kinda Muggle-ish. Magic's turned off. Even my wand is just a stick now. I mean, I grew up Muggle, so it's not so bad for me. But the old lady down the hall is in a real panic.

Clients! Potential clients! Don't visit The All-Seeing Eye today. However, because I still want your money, let's visit the Towering Dwarf instead! I've arranged for a private room.

"Why Veronica," you may ask, "why don't you want us at your usual place of business?"

"I'm glad you asked," I say. "It's because the [insert expletive here] cooling charms have magically turned to heating charms overnight, and it's a whopping 34 degrees in this office. If you crave the ambiance of a rainforest minus the rain, it's your dream office. If you're me, it's hell."

The pros are coming to fix it later this afternoon, but it's Friday and I trust no one. See you at the Dwarf! Stay hydrated!

I'm a big fan of jokes. Running gags, too. But even I know that some jokes go stale and it's time to move on. I'm talking to you, Guy Who Keeps Calling My Show and Requesting I Play Some Skynyrd.

[Em]
Sooooooo, I don't suppose you want to spend the weekend Belize? For reasons?

FILTERED TO DEAN:

I've a date on Sunday night, do you want Ri for the day and night and to take him to daycare on Monday, or would you prefer Lav or Padma watching him?

I always thought fortune telling was kind of a farce? Anyways, don't go see Inigo Imago unless you want the shite scared out of you. I don't know how he knows so much about me, but I just went there as a joke with some co-workers and came out possibly a changed man.

Kidding, kidding. Seriously, Merlin though. That bloke does some serious research.

Fuck fucking Divination Day, Jesus fucking Christ. This is such bullshit. Like I don't have enough bad luck already?? Whoever did this to me, you suck. Trelawney, you suck too. Sam, if I die tripping over the coffee table or something freaking stupid like that, I'm coming back to haunt your ass.

Who needs help getting ready for the auction? I'll be going up on the block myself, because Merlin knows I haven't had a proper date in ages and I always enjoy convincing men to donate large amounts of money to charity. When it comes to long-term relationships and more than one date, it's more of what is inside that counts. But raising money for charity? That's a whole different world. A world that involves eyeliner and heels. Falsies and dresses that flatter you to perfection. Appearance is key.

We don't have anything on the docket except a brunch tomorrow, so starting at 2pm until an hour before the charity, our house will become something of a salon. If you find yourself in need of fashion and makeup advice for the night, please come by. There's nothing worse than standing in front of your closet agonizing.

I'd be happy to help for the actual date-night too.

Gentlemen (or ladies), if you've plans to bid on me, come with a full purse.

In case anyone was curious, after this entry I stayed up most of the night waiting for the mystery clown. Fell asleep, eventually, and when I woke up, I was dressed like a clown.

No sightings since. There's probably some metaphor in here about being the thing that frightens you most, but honestly, I'm just glad he's gone. Time-lapsed curse? No idea.

So uh. Look out for that, I guess.

[ Warded to Dean Whittaker ]

Hey, I'm going to Cork for this weekend to check out that tip about Alp-luachra. National Divination Day this weekend, blah blah, don't want to deal with it. If I go, Trelawney's going to see me and want to exchange trade secrets and I'm just not feeling up to it.

[ /Ward ]

The next Wiztab upgrade will be available later this month! It’s a little bigger, a lot better and now even comes in an assortment of colours and designs! It’s still foldable, like the current one, and you can still choose to write with the attached quill or type on the muggle-like keyboard. It’s not a required upgrade, of course, just if you’re ready for the next evolution of WizTabs. Prepare yourself.


Was that exciting enough? TM told me I need to work on my presentations and not ramble as much, so I’m trying to go with bold and daring and mostly just coming up with things that sound more like threats than exciting new prospects. Oops? Considering it's Ramadan, I"m trying to not let criticism get to me and just going with it. But the new WizTab is great! It’s lighter, more durable and pretty. My personal favorite is the purple one that sparkles.

We're looking into versions for the kids at Hogwarts for the next year. Headmistress Sinistra keeps giving me looks that include tuts and I'm not really sure what that means but I think it'd be so helpful to the students so they don't have to drag around as many books and it'd be a great way for them to keep in touch with their parents guardians.

Quick question for my Dunmoody neighbors... have you noticed anything unusual happening, today? Or... anyone usual? Being in places they shouldn't?

[ Filtered to Dean ]

There is a clown and it is stalking me and I AM NOT KIDDING.

[ /Filter ]

[Veronica]

At what point do I stop feeling awkward around your dad during Father's Day? I feel like a dunce when I just show up with a card and a bottle, then just stand around making small talk for hours. Yes, I've been thinking about this all week.

Auror stuck at the Ministry seeking delivery of a funnel cake from the Dunmoody Faire. Paying 10 galleons for delivery. Someone take pity.

With Father's Day coming up, I've got a special edition of Guardians of Rock lined up. So get your wireless ready, UK! Every artist I'm gonna play (outside of requests & dedications) is someone who's also a dad of someone else who got famous. Both muggle and wizarding, and I'll have the wiztab open for requests. I'll be running the station all day, so get in there if you've got a dedication to your own dad.

And don't worry, I've got enough energy to keep it going on all day. Between a Hexpresso and about five tons of pie from all the festivals, I'm prepared for a music marathon.

I've been working all day and accomplished so much I've practically singlehandedly set up the sumerfest myself and I don't have any intention of stopping Ben BEN you wouldn't believe how amazing this day has been SO PRODUCTIVE

BenBEN lets invest all of our moneyinto the Magic Bean because of this glorious drink I've had FOUR of them and i feel on top of the world

COME ONE COME ALL TO SUMMERFEST we'll HAVE PIE AND WATERSLIDES AND DUNKING BOOTHS You haven't lived until you've had my pie and I made SIXTEEN OF THEM today. SIXTEEN

Okay I ate three of them so there's only thirteen but SIXTEEN PIES


BEN I bathed and clothed and fed the children and theyre all sleeping angels after we ran around the park a dozen times and had a giant water war and did crafts (we now have birdhouses that are GORGEOUS) and now we should make another baby because I can handle ANYTHING on this stuff

That was not how my morning commute was meant to go. Shows me to use aught but my broom, doesn't it?

If no one's warned you all, Floos are wonky. Or my Floo is wonky anyroad.

[WARDED TO LINCOLN HARWOOD]

Hey, so, Baby's flying a bit wonky. I don't usually like anyone else putting their hands on her, but I've tried tweaking her charms and it's still a dance party in the skies. I'm not the world's most comfortable flyer to begin with, so the last thing I need is for my bike to be doing the freaking macarena while I'm a couple hundred feet off the ground, you feel me? Think you can fit her in this week?

[/END WARD]

I'm even more convinced that my bike has feelings. Next time someone talks bad about her, I'm siccing my Coulda Been a Fancy Lawyer brother on you to collect reparations. Is that the right wor Even if he can't get you to pay up, he's annoying, and that's almost as good.

Anyway, is it Thursday yet? I'm ready to stuff my face full of pie and take home a gift certificate.

So, hey. Prewett Street smells like bacon. Not a little bit like bacon, not "oh, I think someone's cooking bacon", but like straight-up crispy on the fryer rashers. I hope no vegetarians live there bec

Magic's so weird.

Let me preface this by stating that not all of my colleagues are this difficult. Most of them are very reasonable and trusting of the fact that I attended a hell of a lot of school to do what I do and that I know what I'm doing. I appreciate that, and know that it makes it a lot easier to do my job. If nothing else, it also keeps that stubborn and spiteful side of me from threatening to spike.

So when I say that using Muggle methods in a pinch will do the trick until we get to somewhere more secure, you'd bloody well better listen instead of letting your prejudice show. You want to keep all of your limbs? Listen to the medic. It's just smart. Especially because I've been a part of too many amputations to be bothered by them anymore. You ending up with one less leg because you decided not to listen is no trouble for me.

Also, I'm back. What've I missed? Aside from an apparent recreation of Jaws, of course.

Hey Dunmoody, I've got a question for you.

Where does one go to meet new people, for potential romantic-type situations? Just out of curiosity.

The good: Business is booming and we couldn't be happier about it! We barely have any days free for anything impromptu in the few upcoming months. But if you're a very good friend and you happen to not have planned anything yet for your most important day, we could likely still help you out. In the name of friendship.

The bad: I may not survive the wedding season and I foresee one of two things happening: 1) I hex a particularly bothersome pervy Groomzilla or 2) I die of exhaustion.

Either way, cushioning charms on my stilettos and a dirty, happy, beaming face when I pick him up at daycare are the only two things getting me through the next two months.

Anyone know where I can pick up a copy of Theodeus Helfer's Occult Mysteries? It's been checked out for weeks now at the library - most libraries, actually - and I'd like to get my hands on it sometime before 2020.

[ Warded to Dean ]

Think I've figured out what happened at the Halloway farm. Beast of Bodmin. It fits. It's a little out of its usual hunting area, but it's close enough to Cornwall to be a real possibility.

It's supposed to be some large, magical cat that lives on the moors. Not the kind that cat ladies collect, but the size of a lion. Black. The mutilation patterns match. No mention of what firepower you'd need to take it down, but I can't imagine the usual tricks won't be effective. I'm free to go whenever.

Also, thanks for eating my leftovers.