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[Sep. 22nd, 2015|10:50 pm] |
To all Upper Classmen - Please refrain from selling 'Lift Passes' to First Years. As veteran students, it is expected you assist in guiding your peers through their formative schooling, acting as shining examples of the Hogwarts motto: Draco dormiens nunquam titillandus.
Twenty house points will be rewarded to the first student able to correctly translate our school's motto. A further thirty to the student best able to articulate its double entendre as applies to this situation.
Lastly, to all First Years - I regret to inform you there are no lifts at Hogwarts, only moving staircases and twisting towers. Should you find yourselves continuing to lose your way, please ask a Prefect or a Professor for directions. Unfortunately, 'I got lost,' will cease to be a valid excuse to tardiness at lessons come 1 October, 2015.
Fondly,
Mr. Boot |
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[Sep. 21st, 2015|11:33 pm] |
Tomorrow I have to sit down with reporters from Witch Weekly and the Daily Prophet while they take pictures. My bio is already submitted for the program. My first match is on October 3 against the Falmouth Falcons.
This is REALLY happening. |
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[Sep. 12th, 2015|11:15 pm] |
While everyone else was on summer holiday, there were a handful of us who still sat in a classroom (of sorts) to prepare and learn everything we could to get ready for our first mission. So now that everyone is back at school WE'RE FINALLY GOING ON OUR FIRST MISSION!!
And that's all I can actually say, since I don't know when, where, or what. Other than it's "soon lass".
Still...whooooo! Adventure! |
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[Sep. 10th, 2015|10:37 pm] |
I have been reading quite a bit about these things, and have yet to wrap my mind around the concept. Can someone explain to me what a 'credit card' is, and how muggles use them? |
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[Sep. 2nd, 2015|07:34 pm] |
Gryffindor First years:
Welcome to Gryffindor. I'm Shaw, your Head of House.
I will tape you to the wall if you misbehave.
There are monsters in the walls. I use screaming children as sacrifices. Don't be one of them.
Keep your familiars under control, if they mess in the common room, you will clean it.
The Fat Lady likes me more than you. She will let you sleep in the hall if you try to come in after curfew.
Gryffindor Fifth-Seventh years:
You're close to making it out alive. Don't risk it. Stay out of opposite sex dorm rooms.
If I find you in the Prefect's bathroom and you shouldn't be there, you will be cleaning it with your toothbrush.
My Astronomy Tower is not a place for necking. I will throw you out the window.
If I find alcohol in your room, I will make you drink all of it. Every. Single. Drop. And then you'll have a few shots of tequila and we'll see how long it takes you to vomit.
If I find cigarettes in your room. You will be made to eat them.
Don't be late to class. Think up a witty threat of your own, I'm too exhausted to think of another one. But make it a good one.
Everyone else:
Welcome back and enjoy tormenting your own Head of House.
I hear Constantine is giving out condoms, Holmes is giving out candy, and Winchester has free brooms.
Have a great year. |
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[Sep. 2nd, 2015|07:27 pm] |
Welcome back, enfants.
A few notes for the new year: Oui, am younger than last year. Haven't taken the Ministry's proper-aging potion yet. May look twenty-one, but I'm still far older than you are. So, while gifts in the form of panties and jock straps will be appreciated, they will be promptly returned via owl.
Alchemy classes are all morning this year, as you well know. Office hours will be directly after, in the afternoons, and if you're making me dinner, you can find me in Faculty No. 18, as always.
And if you're going to fail to bring your home work this year, mes petites terreurs, think up some super creative reasons. While you'll certainly get a zero on the homework, may at least throw you a couple points for creativity. |
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[Sep. 1st, 2015|07:37 pm] |
Welcome students.
I'm Myron Wagtail, the new choir director. Still sounds weird.
Who is signing up for choir this year? |
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[Sep. 1st, 2015|10:26 pm] |
I suppose now is as good of a time as any. When classes start tomorrow, everyone was going to find out.
Students of Hogwarts, I will not be teaching Ancient Runes. I will still hold ballet lessons and the ballet club is still active, but runes is not my class to teach. My office will stay where it is and I will be finding a new room for ballet.
Ballet will be held Tuesday and Thursdays after class. If you need me otherwise, please send me an owl and I will reply as soon as I can. |
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[Sep. 1st, 2015|10:18 pm] |
Attention first years:
Please stop trying to jump to the landing when the stairs move. It's just not a good idea.
Attention upper-classmen:
Please stop convincing the first years that they should attempt to make the jump to the landing when the stairs move. It's not as funny as you think it is.
That is all. |
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[Sep. 1st, 2015|01:11 pm] |
MAY I HAVE YOUR ATTENTION PLEASE?
ELIOT WAUGH IS AN IRRESISTIBLE MAN!
That is all.
Thank you for your time. |
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[Aug. 31st, 2015|10:13 pm] |
I wanted to send my condolences well wishes to everyone returning to school tomorrow!! You lucky kids get to continue your education in the halls I spent more than half my life in...as much as I'm enjoying the new job, I will miss getting on the Express tomorrow with everyone!
To the Ravenclaw Quidditch Team: Give them hell this year. It's about time Ravenclaw gets the trophy!
( Private to Mycroft ) |
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[Aug. 31st, 2015|08:51 am] |
Good luck to everyone going back to school.
I can't believe I'm not.
1st year training is over, and the veteran players are returning, so this will be the first full run on the pitch. I'm gonna end up bloody. I can see it coming. With the mood I'm in, bring it on. |
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[Aug. 28th, 2015|06:11 pm] |
Anyone else check the calendar lately and suffer an aneurysm? Only three days left of the summer hols. I knew term was on the horizon but fuck me. Three days?
Odeon save us all. |
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[Aug. 27th, 2015|07:28 pm] |
Not really one for announcements (I'll leave the self-promotion to my prettier half), but I probably should inform the current students of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry that I will be supporting them next term in the position of Assistant Professor of Defence Against the Dark Arts.
If anyone tries to get through a spot quiz on the five signs to identify a werewolf by including 'he wears a lot of tweed' and 'he's in my classroom right now,' I assure you, I've tried that joke myself.
Obviously I'd like to thank Professor Constantine and the headmaster for extending this opportunity. It appears that I can be a part of a wild pack and still find gainful employment. I'll be taking rooms within the castle from next week, so don't hesitate to knock on my door if you need to. You can even disturb me if my nose is buried in a book.
I look forward to seeing how you all grow and develop in the class, so remember to keep your quills wet with ink, your books well-thumbed, and always recall that the monsters we learn about are often just a different form of people. |
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[Aug. 22nd, 2015|11:47 pm] |
This whole age thing has been...interesting to say the least. One of my best mates SUPER OLD (haha, sorry Roger), boyfriend my age? At least Terry stayed the same age, otherwise I would have been a bit too turned around.
At least they've come out with something to put everyone in their proper place! Pansy, you didn't have any help with it did ya? ;) |
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[Aug. 13th, 2015|04:09 pm] |
Good afternoon, lovely students and professors. I'm going to be your new Head Healer, fresh from St. Mungo's, so I'll be able to take care of all of those bumps and bruises and accidental removal of limbs. I'm actually pretty adept at reattaching limbs.
I'm Augustus, but you all can call me August.
And I promise, I'm the best Healer you've ever met. They send the very worst cases to me at St. Mungo's, so you're in soft, long-fingered, capable hands.
Plus, I'm modest.
I'll be around during the day and part of the evenings, but I'm at St. Mungo's for six hours a night taking care of whatever they need. But, if you need me for anything, you'll always be able to catch me here.
Nothing's too small, so don't be afraid to stop by or give me a shout if you need something. |
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[Aug. 11th, 2015|08:44 am] |
So, my Hogwarts Owl came to me in my dormitory. That's a first. I've already collected all my books and supplies for Seventh Year... it's really nice having money. I was so worried when we didn't. It'll be weird not going to work in Hogsmeade every day, but getting back into the swing of things Quidditch wise will be nice.
What's everyone else looking forward to this year? |
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[Aug. 10th, 2015|09:14 pm] |
Monday's are the worse.
Maybe it's just because the weekend was so wonderful, but this Monday was harder to drag myself outta bed for. At least my babies are home and NOT BEING CORRUPTED ANYMORE I'M-LOOKING-AT-YOU-SIRIUS-BLACK! We shouldn't have given you those cupcakes for watching them.
So if anyone else would be interested in puppy sitting, rewards are cupcakes and/or money. Because I definitely want/need more free time like I had this weekend! |
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[Aug. 10th, 2015|08:48 am] |
I'm back a whole fuckin' 3 hours and I got a date with the counselor on account of my 'previous misconduct'. I already come back early.
As if they got a right to tell me to do anything. Couldn't settle my things in my bed before they went and grabbed me. One weekend off detention, I coulda managed that.
If back home weren't harrier bollocks than here I'd be gone.
Stiff drink could do me bout now. |
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cranky