Sameen Shaw won't feel anything when she kills you (such_hostility) wrote in wizard_journal, @ 2015-09-02 19:34:00 |
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Entry tags: | cho chang, elizabeth bennet, hannah abbott, john constantine, oliver wood, sameen shaw |
Gryffindor First years:
Welcome to Gryffindor. I'm Shaw, your Head of House.
I will tape you to the wall if you misbehave.
There are monsters in the walls. I use screaming children as sacrifices. Don't be one of them.
Keep your familiars under control, if they mess in the common room, you will clean it.
The Fat Lady likes me more than you. She will let you sleep in the hall if you try to come in after curfew.
Gryffindor Fifth-Seventh years:
You're close to making it out alive. Don't risk it. Stay out of opposite sex dorm rooms.
If I find you in the Prefect's bathroom and you shouldn't be there, you will be cleaning it with your toothbrush.
My Astronomy Tower is not a place for necking. I will throw you out the window.
If I find alcohol in your room, I will make you drink all of it. Every. Single. Drop. And then you'll have a few shots of tequila and we'll see how long it takes you to vomit.
If I find cigarettes in your room. You will be made to eat them.
Don't be late to class. Think up a witty threat of your own, I'm too exhausted to think of another one. But make it a good one.
Everyone else:
Welcome back and enjoy tormenting your own Head of House.
I hear Constantine is giving out condoms, Holmes is giving out candy, and Winchester has free brooms.
Have a great year.