Network for Winterdale

What in all of TARNATION.

No, no, no siree, oh no; ya see I will stand by without complaint so help me for dang foundit animal splices, I'll sit around and mind my own for weird magic-mahaps wishes and people out there running amock in their underwear causing all manners of tomfoolery and destruction, I will turn an eye to the bizarre and strange that Stanford, god bless my soul, drives after tooth and nail, I will even stay quiet for--for whatever else this nonsensical, improbable place has in store but help me I will not stand idly by for...for....this level of nonsense.

Whoever brochures this place seemed to happs forget to give mention to the IMPOSSIBLE, UNENDING TOMFOOLERY. HOW IS THIS HAPPENING.

Any naysayer who makes a hormonal comment I'm lacing your food with laxatives, I swear to betsy

[text message to Stanley]

Stanley...you haven't noticed anything strange...? Recently?