Repose

[Daniel. W]

[Without anything to go on, thanks crazy vampire, the gift is generic and based on what's publicly available information. A little bag or two designed for window-boxes. A strong and expensive blend of coffee bought from somewhere in the Capital that grinds its own beans. And a decoration if someone doesn't celebrate Christmas much.]

[After much scouring and one Amazon Prime shipment later, a book is delivered, wrapped, along with a bookmark and a $50 gift certificate to the local bookstore. There's a stupid card included. Which reads, in a slapdash, but confident male script:

Dia P:

I'm not much of a reader but this had good reviews online. You'll hafta lemme know. In case I was off the mark, try the gift card.

Happy Holidays,
your Secret Santa]

[There's no proclamation. There's no receipt. There's not much of anything... besides a $100,000 donation to sponsor lunches and after-school activities in the Capital (and Repose). On a more immediate note, a popup celebration is staged on Christmas Day at a hot-breakfast-and-soup-kitchen spot downtown, where every kid gets a free "Holiday" meal, along with a visit from Santa, and a few toys. It lasts all day. It's not much, in the scheme of things, but it means a lot to those kids and it makes for a nice feel-good story brimming with holiday spirit for the local news programs.

The only thing that does arrive for Jason is a card. It is minimalist and unsigned.]

[Delivered to Seven:

One 12 month subscription to the Dick in a Box Club.

A copy of The Latke Who Couldn't Stop Screaming: a Christmas Story.

And some candy.

An autographed picture of Neil Patrick Harris The picture is, indeed, of Doogie Howser. But the signature is new. And personalized. It says, "Merry Christmas, Seven. From one poetry lover to another!"]

[The gift comes as promised nicely wrapped, with a nice card and the confirmation receipt stating that a recurring monthly donation of 150.00 has been set up for the local animal shelter.

There's a "Merry Christmas, and Happy New Year" hand written inside.]

[The box is large. Refrigerator box large. It is delivered quickly, and needs to be opened within 24 hours, or so the delivery states.

The wrap job is hand done, and it took a few rolls of wrapping paper, one can tell because it's mismatched. There are about ten bows on it. And lots of curly ribbons.

The box is also very oddly heavy, not refrigerator heavy, but it's an oddly distributed weight.

When the wrapping paper comes off, it is, indeed a refrigerator box, that has been repurposed for this gift. There is a big arrow pointing up And a few notes that state "this side up."

The box doesn't open from the top, the front opens, like a door. Inside...There is a Christmas Party. Stacked from the bottom up: A cooler filled with packing ice and a nice looking prime rib. On top of that is a case of soda, a case of beer, a box with some bottles of champagne (not expensive, but not the cheapest either), and a couple boxes of wine (this secret santa sprung for the champagne and a good prime rib, had to compromise on the wine - so boxes it was). Candy canes. Christmas tree shaped snack cakes. Etc etc etc

There are a couple of bags of Christmas decorations and string lights. And instructions for various Christmas themed party games.

And folded neatly in a shirt box: A Christmas Sweater

There's a card in there somewhere. It says "Christmas is about the giving. So here's something for you to give. Maybe when you give those bonuses you could do it at a little Christmas Party."

Also included, is a three month subscription to Vnyl with the info to go set it up how he wants.]

[Delivered in a white box tied with a thick blue ribbon. Inside are two items.

The first is a small box, wrapped in blue tissue, that contains a vintage Montblanc 146, in excellent condition. It's a classic piston-fill, so no inkwell necessary, and it writes like a dream.

Laid next to the pen, also wrapped in tissue, is a cup. A small piece of white card is tucked inside.]

To your health.

[The cup is faintly warm to the fingertips, but otherwise as innocent as such an artifact can look.]

[It's not the name, okay? It's not. But Frank seems to be more of the utilitarian type than anything else, so he gets something utilitarian. And it's less about zombies and more about the gear. Santa splurges, of course, and gets the duct taped package too. Enjoy, Frank.]

[Public, except for Janus A.]

Friends of Janus A, help?

[Santa's little elf has to look a bit, but the gift finally comes in a series of packages. The first one has all the 'winter requirements' - a pair of knit mittens in shades of purple, a knit hat with required pom-pom at the crown, a long scarf, and a pair of super-warm ivory alpaca wool knit socks. The second package is more about utility: a waterproof match case, a sharp knife, and a handy flash light cause everyone needs those things, right? The third package is a bit of a splurge: the latest model silver Ipod touch, 128G and with it comes a gift card, enough to buy any type of Beats headphones she wants, since the Elf wasn't sure if she wanted in ear or over ear.]

[A rather large example of the wished-for item in a small white jewelry store box. The bag also contains a bar of chocolate. Neither is wrapped, but the gifter did manage to put them both in a cheerful gift bag emblazoned with Happy Holidays and an illustration of an excitable reindeer.]

[It's the shape of a Christmas card—well, no, there is a Christmas card. (It's signed just 'Santa & the NSA'.) But, that's not the gift. The gift is tucked inside. It's a thin USB drive. When she sticks it into her computer, she'll find it's loaded with a folder, "I TRIED." There are a few Word documents and PDFs saved, all that could be found after a pretty extensive scour of files. What she can glean from the information are a few facts. The building is there, about 20 miles east of Prague proper, in a heavily wooded area. The blueprint PDF is old and badly scanned, but it looks like five stories above ground, two below. The land the building is on is owned by the Czech government. There are no public (or easily hackable private) records of power or water or other amenities connected to the building in any recent years and it is unoccupied, at least on paper.

There's also a $50 Visa gift card because it just didn't seem like enough. But, that's all.]

[Connie G]

[Santa got a little creative and went a little wild in the toy store. In a basket, wrapped around with red silk ribbon, is an absolute pile of all the toys a sugar-glider could want (among many).

Also in the basket a snow-globe of Repose and a box of Christmas candy.]

[Ring.]

[There are six vinyl records in the package, except apparently Santa has a bit of a sense of humor. They all have labels for classic rock bands: CCR, Stones, Pink Floyd, ACDC, etc, but only one of them is what the label actually says. The other five are actually Britney Spears, One Direction, Backstreet Boys, Aqua, and one is Snoop Dogg. The note, hastily scribbled, reads: Merry Christmas, Jackass! :)]

[A model of the specified car in a presentational box. With it goes a pair of antique cufflinks. The card is plain stock, the handwriting male. 'For the gentleman with the expensive taste. These are nineteenth century. Classic.'. There is also a bottle of extremely good whiskey with the two other packages.]