I have three large bins at my workplace, capable of holding large space. Each of them I designed, with labels, to hold specific things. Food. Clothing. Toys. Any citizens of this city are welcome to come by and just drop any amount of those items that they don't need, and they can be given to those that do.

By the end of two weeks.. my people will deliver the items to a homeless shelter. Or to a church that works with the hungry and needy. I'm thinking this can be an ongoing thing, so I'll check them at the end of every week when I leave my office. The bin compartments are on the east side of the Thorn Industries building. Remember, anyone can make a difference. All it takes is one.

You know, I think I expected less technology in hell.

So...kidnapping...that's new and different.

Sid, if you missed me that much, you could just ring me. This is going slightly overboard. I will say though, I'm very impressed.

What the fuck is going on?

I didn't think I'd see anyone from back home walking around. I must admit, I was a bit surprised to learn that my former sergeant is here now. Neff.. for nevermind. This will be interesting.

I'm bored. Someone should entertain me.

It's so wonderful to see so many smiling faces, these days!

Yet, I find myself vastly unentertained. That just won't do, boys and girls.

Things do not change so easily; the muggle world is still filled to its peak with filth.

Back in New York. Can't say I really missed it, but it's a hell of a lot better than Pittsburgh.

This is most peculiar. This is not where I am meant to be. This strange land is not Avalon. I would never have left my post I have guarded so diligently. Arthur entrusted his healing to me and I do not even know where it is I have awoken.

I go off on a bit of a trip and you lot blow things up? Typical.

Is the world ending, again? You know, I forgot to mark this apocalypse on the calendar.

Oh. You're telling me the world isn't ending, and we've only had a small cataclysm? Man, mortals like their dramatics.

Gee, I wonder what a quirky little deity could get up to in a big bad city like this?

I think I'm going to like it here. Hellooooooooooooooooooooooooooo New York!!!!!!!!!!

WHEN THE HELL DID SOME HALFWIT BITCH STEAL MY WORDS! WHO EVEN IS THIS THIS...I'M GOING TO GO RIP HER THROAT OUT!

This place becomes less amusing with each day.

What is this? I leave for a few weeks, and come back to find all Hell breaking loose?

I suppose I should chide you all for being naughty. But that's just so damn hypocritical.

Fi, fie, fo, fum ...

How does that rhyme go again, fellow flat-dwellers? I seem to be at a bit of a loss.

I think I'm supposed to be trying to blend in. Where's the fun in that?

Let me tell ya, after being stuck in a cramped space for so long, blending in is the last thing on my mind. For fuck's sake, I want to actually have some fun. Oh, were you expecting something more stereotypically archaic for an oath? I'll be glad to deliver, just for laughs.

By Odin's BEARD!

There, you feeling better? Trust me, it won't last.

And using the internet to communicate? That's really cute. I invented the internet, I'll have you know. I thought it was brilliant at the time.

Once upon a time, there were these... kids. These kids named Billy and Amanda.

Now, y'see, Billy and Amanda were hungry. Nobody fed 'em, nobody paid 'em any attention- and it was all very, very tear-jerking. So, one day, this... magical clown came to town to turn Billy and Amanda's frowns into buckets of little smiles and happy rainbows. The magical clown invited 'em to play a game.

This clown- he really liked to play these games, and Billy and Amanda loved the idea SO much, they decided that they'd give in and follow the magical clown and play the game he'd made especially for them. Because these kids? They were special little angels. The kind that needed their cream cheese served on clouds and their halos polished by sparkling cherubs.

But Billy and Amanda didn't realize that the magical clown had led them into rush hour!

That was the end of little curly-topped Billy and pigtailed Amanda. Oh, but there's a moral, kiddies, a good moral with magical twists and turns. And whoever can figure it out'll get a special prize.

One that doesn't involve headlights and blood so thick ya can't wash it out of your suit. And you can trust me- I'm a man of my word.