| |
[Oct. 12th, 2010|06:44 pm] |
The Eagle of Truthiness is once more among you, fellow citizens of the Space Ship Awesome. It's awesome because I'm here. And I'm here because Space is Awesome.
But not as awesome as America. Because that would just be wrong.
As your newly designated Encryption Specialist, allow me to debrief you all on my superlative duties and skills. I spend endless minuteshours making paper dolls out ofdecoding all those different Intelligence reports I receive and scanning them with my complex algorithms for interesting and potentially threatening keywords to our way of space life such as, "bears", "gravity", "laws of physics", "godless heathens" or, "Schnookums."
Then I, along with most of my division, spend the rest of our day convincing the people who pay our salaries to give us an increasingly ungodly budget allowance in order to keep producing the same, somewhat vaguely worded threats from our enemies at approximately fifteen space bucks per sheet, while we spend the rest on replacing the bathroom in my quarters with a nice little number from Martha Stewart's line at Space Station Depot.
Hey - if it's a good enough budget for the Pentagon, it's good enough for the Space Ship Awesome.
And check out my bidet, it's solid gold! |
|
|
| I've played maidens, ladies, and queens.... |
[Mar. 12th, 2010|09:11 pm] |
... but I am not a fucking Disney princess. I'm sorry. I'm sorry, but I simply refuse to accept this. Even if the bluebirds are tweeting in 3-part harmony while they do the laundry. And the squirrels' tails are doing a great job of dusting, but the chipmunks? No. I can't have chipmunks running around the bathroom singing in those horrible little voices they have.
Who the fuck knows an exterminator? |
|
|
| |
[Feb. 22nd, 2010|03:42 pm] |
I hate having to start over. No matter, If I can't escape from here, I'll get comfortable soon enough. At least it's basically where I spent my youth. Perhaps I'll even encounter a familiar face...I hear there are some here from a place called Sunnydale. |
|
|
| Olympic fever |
[Feb. 12th, 2010|06:01 pm] |
Someone want to explain to me just how the fuck Vancouver got to host the Olympics?
I mean, Vancouver. |
|
|
| |
[Nov. 3rd, 2009|05:17 pm] |
Does anyone speak French? |
|
|
| |
[Oct. 28th, 2009|10:25 am] |
Peoples of the multiverse, due to a discussion I had earlier, I'm curious to find out if something I've always thought was true, is, in fact, truth.
Wherever you're from, are the women from the southern reaches purportedly more ferocious than their northerly sisters? |
|
|
| |
[Oct. 13th, 2009|10:32 pm] |
Now that that nightmare's over, let's try this again.
Alternate universe. All sorts of things going bump in the proverbial night. Replacing a man of questionable taste and haphazard attempts at magic? This is taking two-bit to a new level. All pretty run-of-the-mill around here, it sounds like.
So just what is a down on his luck, apparently unemployed wizard supposed to do to make a living around here?
[Edit] I should have done this in the first place:
Harry Dresden- Wizard.
Lost items found. Paranormal investigations.
Consulting. Advice. Reasonable rates.
No love potions, endless purses, or other entertainments.
No office number, I'm afraid, but I'll answer here until it inevitably breaks. Damn phones. |
|
|
| |
[Aug. 28th, 2009|06:52 pm] |
I was bored, so I went pro again.
Yay. |
|
|
| |
[Aug. 24th, 2009|11:57 am] |
What is an agent and why does one keep ringing me on this contraption? |
|
|
| |
[Aug. 20th, 2009|03:27 am] |
I am bored and unamused.
Any ideas on what I can do? Remember, I was once the Captain of a Starship and used to be able to go where ever I wanted to in the universe, so entertaining me while I'm marooned here on earth may not be the easiest thing to do. |
|
|
| An improbable fiction |
[Aug. 17th, 2009|05:11 pm] |
I've tried reading that website, but honestly, who the hell thought all that blinking was a good idea? To say nothing of the colour scheme. I'm sorry, but I can't tolerate it.
So can anyone tell me if there's an Equity here? Canadian, that is. |
|
|