Pax Letale

Uh, so. Am I the only person who noticed this place is back to normal again? Like. What the hell happened last week?

Good morning everyone,

I'm Matthew Buchanan, but you can call me Matt. And I hate writing these things but it's a hell of a lot easier to write this than introduce myself face to face. Just moved in yesterday and I'm new to California. I lived in Maryland prior to moving here and grew up near Philadelphia. Happy to be here though. I can't think of anything else to say...

Have a great week!

Matt

It is too noisy. Who is laughing? And who is leaving things? Please stop leaving things out. the hearth, though, is nice. It's just too loud

It's been over two hours since I tried to leave this morning for my jog and after attempting for a third time to pick the locks open the lobby doors, I admit that I am getting nowhere. And when I say nowhere, I quite literally mean nowhere. At least the travels up and downstairs have been interesting.

If you're not a.) in a sugar coma or b.) neck deep in a rabbit's fruitful offerings, care to help me out a little with explanations? There's an uneaten, golden Cadbury egg waiting as a prize if you do help me--let's make a trade. Information for chocolate, what could be better?

- P. Chapman

Who the hell was up here last night spilling peoples' secrets? Like. This isn't cool.

And what the hell happened on my floor?

This place is like. Definitely weird AF.

Anyone want the jar of honey left on my door as what I'm guessing is an April Fools joke? I'm about ten years past eating food found in strange places from persons unknown on good days. Sorry to disappoint.

Good find though, you can't exactly find this shit at dollar general--wanna know how I know that? I can read the label, fuckwad.

[Backdated to April 1st]

Look people, there is a place for Goodwill donations and it's not my front door. Don't worry, I'll drop them off for you this time.

Oh, and cute, thinking my feet were that big.



[OOC: Backdated to the first of April]

So this is how we introduce ourselves here? Alright I can dig it.

Hey, I'm Vinnie, I just moved into 108, and I own that old pickup outside. It has to stay parked for a while, so if I need to move it out of the way I will don't see how though, it's already pretty far from the building. Don't worry about any freaky flute music you might hear during the day, that's me practicing. I'll try to keep it for daylight hours, so if you hear it at night then you might wanna consider being freaked out because that's not me.

So, have a nice day, looking forward to meeting more of you.

So are random presents just run-of-the-mill here, or is this a welcome gift, or did I miss a clause when I signed my contract? The albino stag's head is really beautiful and it's hanging above my fireplace, but that's a... weirdly in-tune kind of gift. Also really, really rare, so not one that I'm not totally sure I'm cool with. How many albino anythings are there in the world, seriously?

I mean, thank you. But also confusion. So.

Hey, dork :P

I got the lesbian cookbook at my door this morning, you sure you didn't mean to send it to your place instead? NGL, the book is hilarious

Yo, was told to say hello here, so, hello. Happy now, boss?

PS. Found a sock in the hallway, knitted kitten face on the foot. Bring the mate to claim. Cheers.

[ backdated to the morning of 3/18, following this ]

HEY YOU DIPSHIT YOU WANNA KEEP IT DOWN SOME OF US ARE TRYING TO SLEEP GO GET FUCKED IN HIS APARTMENT NEXT TIME

Guys, whatever is going on in your lives is not as important as the fact that Chuck Berry, the father of rock and roll is dead. Take off your hats, pour one out for ol' Chuck, get the seat belt off of your date for some hanky panky, support your local guitarist and get a large group of people to harmonize on a song about your junk in his memory.

Rest in peace good sir.

Brit Ive been working constantly and I just woke up to see all this drama about Percy's turtle. What did you do??

[prior to noticing BB's update, he'd written this message. deciding that it couldn't hurt to spread the news far and wide, he posted it on the apartment forums regardless of whatever BB would have to say. unfortunately, times were dire, and his worry meter--because, believe it or not, Percy could indeed be worried--was off the charts.]

This is a public announcement for anyone that may be concerned. There is a burglar among us, and they have ransacked not only my home, but stolen my pet box turtle. I have already notified the complex manager of this crime.

If anyone happens to come across a box turtle that isn't fully grown but will, regardless, crawl towards you for a bite of strawberry, let me know ASAP. She answers to Stella. Yell too loud for her, though, and she might hide inside her shell.

No one steals from me.

- P. Chapman.

I think I found something you lost -- come get it.

( the great turtle heist pt 6 )

( the great turtle heist pt 5 )

( the great turtle heist pt 4 )

( the great turtle heist pt 3 )