...

I know the sign of a good New Year's party is waking up in someone else's clothes but it's still really unnerving.

And I'm certain he doesn't wear this style....

Iiiiiiii don't wanna work, I just wanna bang on my drums all day.
Iiiiiiii don't wanna play, I just wanna bang on my drums all day.

Sticking my head out to see if things are less crazy now. You know, are we back to our regularly scheduled madness?

A peanut is neither a pea not a nut. Discuss!

It's spring, when the sad-making layers clothing are finally shed. And it's damn quiet around here. So, I humbly propose:

MUD-FOOTBALL: SWIMSUIT EDITION

Oh yeah, I went there. There will have cold beer and a BBQ as well. And a few hoses.

Thawing times! Allowed to go outside and enjoy the sunshine again! And there's little green things and mud too.

And gaaaah holy chocolate and sweets overload. I might not want to look at a truffle or jelly egg for a while. Might being the key word, folks.

 Only a month or so until the Farmer's Markets are up and running. Well, in this hemisphere, Aussie-land's been good for a peruse....

So I'm thinking about getting a pet...any ideas on what I should get?

SWEET HALLELUJAH! THE MAVERICKS ARE THIS SATURDAY! UNF, IT'S LIKE COMIC-CON WITH SEX WAX.

And now I have every guy's undivided attention. Oy. 24 of the surfing elite (All men, boo. Nah, I show them love, but a girl in there would be bitchin') are going to go and do battle with the best waves in all of California, just off of Half Moon.

 So uh, please Gigi, nudge some 50ft Baja waves up thatta way? Please, please, please?

I have a longing for a strong bass beat and Strobe lights.

Who's in?

Alright you lurkers, come on out and join us at the Rockerfeller rink. Get some fresh air, see other people, get a few laughs.

Or even just nurse a cup of coffee and glower at us idiots wiping out.

Snooooooooooooow!

Anyone feeling like a snowball fight? Walls are lousy opponents, their aim sucks.

This means you older/more mature types too. Show how it's really done.

After last month's ... eyeopener of a holiday, I'm feeling loads grateful for a lot. Therefore, there's  going to be a good ol' party the weekend before Thanksgiving for all friends and family and what the heck, anyone who needs to get out. Some food, some video games, it's that time of year to visit, so have some fun.

Unless we have to deal with zombie turkeys rising from the roasting pan too...

Ladies and gentlemen. Today commemorates the fact that Mr. Pulse has been off the market for interested parties for one full, glorious year.

The candlelight vigil for those who missed out begins at 7:00pm tonight.

The sprinklers come on at 7:15.

[ Some Beret-level swearing]

What possessed me to buy these many shoes?!  I could wear a new pair each day for months and not run out.

-Some time later-

AAAGH PASTELS! GOTT IN HIMMEL! ONLY M&MS SHOULD BE THESE COLORS!

Today's Idiotically Giggling Moment Brought To You By: Astronaut Butt-Molds

That is all. Please carry on.

Three words, Ladies (and Interested Gentlemen): Michael Phelp's Tush.

So the other day I was... uh.. kind of working my way through this equation in which I had to arrive at an answer to reconcile the rate at which Ancient technology interacts with the plain old spark-fuel combustion engine -- you would be amazed at how volatile unleaded gasoline is with naquadah when combined under the right circumstances... said circumstances still to be determined when they are right -- and mostly trying to work out this equation so the car I'm trying to modify doesn't explode when the driver presses on the gas pedal, because that isn't really helpful to the whole experiment. You know, when your driver and test subject explode.

Um. So. Ah, yes, I was speaking of toasters.

I replaced the electric coil in the toaster -- the heating element -- with a thin wire of naquadah and spliced in a crystal about the size of Rajani's pinky nail and now... Well, I have created a toaster that responds just like the jumpers respond... to the gene therapy and those that are lucky enough to have the correct gene sequence. I mean, seriously, it's like comparing playing craps to ... I don't know.. sudoku? One is a game of chance and the other is thought-provoking and takes skill.

I'm off subject again. This toaster that pretty much reads your basic desire for toast and responds accordingly. Light, burned, just warmed, whatever your toast wants may be. I kinda did the same thing with the godboxes, as far as Gigi would allow me to mess with her creations, and again let me state that if anyone wants any kind of modification to their godbox I can certainly do that. Rajani calls it "pimping them out", and yeah, I guess.. uh, that's a colloquial way of putting it.

And now I'm going to create the world's most perfect BLT made with Ancient technology. And a beer. Before I get back to that damn equation where I can pinpoint exactly the rate of burn to save some guy from exploding in a silver Altima.

( Pulse: )

You know what? I give up.

I cannot handle this. I've been handling shit like this for a year and it slowed down and I thought oh good I passed the test and WHAT DO YOU KNOW? MORE SHIT.

You all stop picking fights that affect my baby's life or I'll Godbox to knock the shit out of you. Cancer or no cancer.

And for God's sakes STOP SHUTTING ME OUT.

There is something about rock guitars with symphonies that make you itch for a good fight.

Just ignore the video for optimal effect.

Blocked from the adults.

Transcript to Pulse:

She bought tofu. Again.

You are really really good at hiding things and sneaking, can we get rid of it before lunchtime?

EEE! Chibi Bosses!

:3 I've got it pre-ordered, Myrene. We're ordering pizza and having a night of it when it comes.

Hello? This is Beta.

We made more cookies today and Assiah said I had to ask if anyone wanted some.

She also says there's Irish Coffee for any stressed out biggies out there.

The coffee tastes funny