welcome to storybrooke ❧ communications

Texts to Nick Fury
✉ You're playing laser tag with us.
✉ I may even know what team I want you on.
✉ Team Stark.
✉ Yes. You get both.

(Following texts sent after discussion with Fury)

Texts to Grant Ward
✉ So I did it.
✉ I even assigned him a team.
✉ Still in charge.

Texts to Tony Stark
✉ So. laser tag. You're in because you replied to the post.
✉ Team assignment: You. Fury. Stark classic. Rogers.
✉ Play nice.

Texts to Howard Stark
✉ You're playing laser tag with us.
✉ Team assignment: You. Fury. New Stark. Rogers.

Texts to Steve Rogers
✉ Remember when you asked who handed out team assignments?
✉ That would be me.
✉ Team assignment. You. Stark classic. Fury. New Stark.
✉ I'll make sure Barnes gets a good team.

( packages for peggy carter, victoria hand, maria hill, melinda may, bobbi morse, natasha romanoff, jemma simmons, & anne weaver )

( texts to regina mills )

✉ I have a proposition for you.

( texts to phil coulson )

✉ So...about that thing we talked about.

( texts to juno macguff )

✉ I think I figured something out for you.

( texts to nick fury )

✉ I think I actually qualify as an adult now.

( texts to grant ward )

✉ Don't start picking out baby stuff just yet.

[Nick Fury]
✉ I'm coming over.
✉ I'm bringing bottles.
✉ Several bottles.
✉ I might buy the liquor store.
✉ I'm probably bringing May.
✉ Who will have more bottles.

[Melinda May]
✉ Come get drunk with me on Fury's doorstep.
✉ And listen to me panic.
✉ I'll let you make fun for it later.

✉ Fitz contacted me yesterday.
✉ As per his request, Ward is no longer required not to talk to him.
✉ I will leave it up to the two of you whether to tell him the rule no longer applies.
✉ But I am rather surprised to find out that Ward had apparently broken the rule several times, and nobody informed me.
✉ I hope neither of you were aware of it either.

[ extra Text Messages to Clint Barton sent before the party ]

✉ Have you figured out what to do about a cake yet?
✉ I've got the pasta salad chilling.
✉ And I picked up a bottle of his favorite liquor while I was out this afternoon.
✉ Need me to grab anything else before tonight?

TEXT TO ROY
→ Come to Coulson's Birthday Party with me?
→ I know I'm being ridiculous about this.
→ But I'd feel better.

TEXT TO FURY
→ Take the no talking to me rule off Ward.
→ Please?

[ clint barton ]
✉ I'll be there to collect Ward at 5 AM.
✉ Make sure he's ready.
✉ But don't wake him too early.
✉ Groggy, confused, and off-kilter is best.

[ phil coulson ]
✉ We go tomorrow.
✉ I've already got a location set up.
✉ I told Clint to have him ready at 5 AM.
✉ I'll be there at 4:30.

[ grant ward ]
✉ I hope you're ready.
✉ Because there's no third chances.

( nick fury: )

✉ If you decide he needs to die, I want to be the one to do it.
✉ I'm the one who took responsibility for him. If this fails, that's on me.
✉ And I promised him I'd be the one. I owe him that much.

( grant ward: )

✉ Coming up on decision time.
✉ For what it's worth, I think you've changed.
✉ I still think you could probably stand to blame circumstances and other people less
✉ Because that's the only way you can really move forward and accept the things you've done.
✉ But I think you're a good person.

( phil coulson: )

✉ What if this didn't work?
✉ What if I've failed him?

✉ Ward's got a week left.
✉ So, how are we going to do this?
✉ Kidnap and interrogate?
✉ I can probably get my hands on a lie detector, get one of the people here to make sure it can't be fooled.
✉ I'm going to let you make the final call, but I want to be in on evaluating the progress.

( Text Message to Nick Fury )

✉ So...remember how you gave me a month?

( Text Message to Phil Coulson )

✉ So...how much trouble will I be in if I say we're getting a houseguest for the forseeable future?

✉ Dammit, Clint.
✉ You better know what the fuck you're doing.
✉ Ward might have killed Fitz and Simmons.

Coulson and Barton got themselves arrested. They called Loki to get them. Make sure they don't do anything more stupid than they already have.

And Grant. Try and look like a normal person. If you show up in a suit, they're just going to call you a narc.

✉ I told them to stand down.
✉ And I'm not going to ask.
✉ Not here, and not now.

[Texts to Fury]

It didn't air tonight.
So they still don't know.
Your secret is safe

✉ So, I hear you finally realized that Clint has been pining after you for years.
✉ I was starting to wonder whether I was going to have to draw you pictures before you'd get it.
✉ For as observant as you are in the field, Phil, take you out of it, and you're painfully hopeless.
✉ Also, I'm not going to push you off the roof.
✉ That would be counterproductive.
✉ And we don't exactly have an expert medical team here to make sure you don't die on us again.
✉ Best to not risk it.
✉ Got it?

( Texts to Natasha Romanoff )

✉ So I had feelings at Phil.
✉ And then I had sex with Phil.
✉ A lot. Really a lot.
✉ Guy's got moves.
✉ And then I feelingsed some more.
✉ And I maybe suggested he move in.
✉ Spoiler: He's not moving in.
✉ But I'm kind of dating him? Kind of, in this case, meaning I am.
✉ Help.
✉ Also, I think we deserve a cake.

( Texts to Nick Fury )

✉ I've stolen your roommate.
✉ I'm not giving him back.
✉ Sorry not sorry.
✉ I promise not to seduce him at your place.
✉ While you're there.
✉ Probably.
✉ Jesus Christ, tell him you're cool with this because he's forgotten you and I are friends and is having an aneurysm.
✉ Don't worry. It's a small one.
✉ He'll be fine.

( Texts to Phil Coulson )

✉ I told Nick.
✉ Now you can stop imagining worst case scenarios where he tosses you out an airlock that doesn't exist here.
✉ Seriously, you're not allowed to watch Battlestar Galactica any more. It gives you ideas.
✉ So...wanna go on a date and then fool around?
✉ That's what people do, right?
✉ I'm honestly asking. I don't have a fucking clue what people do when they're dating.
✉ We're dating, right?

Didn't we already have the talk about vetting partners before you sleep with them?

Even with all that time in the field, Barton, it's going to be your taste in women that gets you killed.