War Is Coming Communications.

Can the hug-agram sending asshole please stand up? Because I'd really like to thank you personally for sending me a driveby naked man-baby. That's awesome. Totally.

You know what else is Like Totally Awesome? Sending hug-agrams to the house with the hungry angry monster baby. Because I really didn't need to spend another hour getting her back to sleep after the terrible hugging invader woke her up. There's no point at which singing There's No Cats In America and rocking a grumpy five month old gets even a little bit tiresome. I'm going to be sending you both our therapy bills after this, buddy.

Donations of coffee and earplugs gratefully accepted.


[Cami & Marcel]
I'm sorry. She'll tire herself out eventually. But something about that guy has her creeped out.

Plus side, she's going to have a hell of a pair of lungs when she's old enough to sing rather than just howl.

Am I too old to have a themed birthday party? I have never had one that was before and think I would like it to be themed. But it seems that it is something that ones much younger than I do. I think all of the other children that were my age are gone now though.

Alright, 'Network', I've got questions.

1) Where the hell is this? Because last time I checked, the Other Side was crappy, but not Kansas-crappy.
2) How did I get here? Because the graveyard thing makes sense, but not so much the 'miles outside Louisiana' bit.
3) Which one of you bastards has my daughter?

Actually, scrap those first two. I know she's here, and you do not want 165lbs of hormonal werewolf mama on your ass. So spill.

I suppose now that I'm settled in I should say something? Though the only thing I can think of is Kansas? Seriously? Is it really too much to ask for a beach?

Since you're all so curious.

Hayley was a werewolf of my acquaintance back in Mystic Falls. Last I knew she'd screwed over Tyler Lockwood which admittidly raised her in my estimation but there was little else I knew of her.

As it turns out, later in my timeline I sleep with her.

In doing so, for whatever reason I don't yet understand she became pregnant.

The result is Hope. I've seen her, held her and I can tell you without a shadow of a doubt, she is mine. If nothing else the proof is in the fact that Hayley is a Hybrid. This was because of Hope.

She'll be looked after, for now she is staying with Marcel, eventually I will find her somewhere to stay.

Elijah Rebekah. No offence but your partners have both used family against me in the past so while they've probably worked out most of it I'd rather them not know the whole story. And don't tell me either of them is incapable of using her, you should both know better.

Crowley and Anna I do not believe would.

And before you ask, yes Caroline and I have spoken about it at great length. The discussion is private and I would ask that none of you decide quizzing us on it is 'helping'

[Hayley]

I've told the family the whole story. With the exception of Stefan and Katerina. I do apologise for what follows

[ooc: This is of course AFTER the Klaroline log me and Jess will be backdating to just post the Klayley one once work stops kicking our asses]

Tomorrow I leave for Paris, France. My one last trip before the school year starts.

[Katherine]

We leave tomorrow, can you get packed in time?

[Kol and Rebekah]

I'll be leaving in the morning to go to Paris for a week with Katherine, but before I go, I want to say something.

I know it probably isn't the best time to stay it, but I feel it needs to be said. We can't let things fester.

I...I feel deeply hurt that you two cannot come to me with your problems. That you two only turn to each other. You have to know I love you both very much. I want to know why you feel you cannot come to me.

[Rose Tyler]

I'm sorry I won't be able to help at the carnival, sweetheart. Can I make it up to you by getting you a present from Paris?

If I ask you if you still remember her story? What would you say?

Rose talked to me, and Sam seems to like you, so I'm gonna try something here, and your answer to that will go a long way

[ooc: broken English!]

Hello. I'm Rebekah. I am trying to learn how to use this.

wHer Am i

hoW

[ooc: Because my brain is being made of fail! This is all in Old Norse, but with the same kind of grammatical fails that I'm showing! Also, her window broke when she woke up. Say hello to the teenage witch Bekah!]

Every time I close my eyes Kol's dead. And you, and Elijah. even Finn

And its them, the Gilberts the Salvatores, for their bloody noble reasons, saving the world at our expense and Caroline's helping.

Funny, I thought it would be Mother, or Mikael.

Its not

Can I just say I'm fucking thrilled that the littlest Gilbert is gone now? Shame I didn't get to have any retaliation, though!

Found some things in the papal archives over here you all may be interested in

And they're worried. There's quite a bit in Aramaic I'm still translating but leave it with us. 

[Family]

And we might have appropriated one or two things. I've missed Rome.

Home during the week if the weather permits.

[Caroline]

Allure to Darkness? Admit it yet?

I've tried to understand the Black Friday attitude, but I think I'm still failing at that. I mean, I get wanting a bargain, I'm a fan of the finer things in life myself, but doesn't it kind of contradict the meaning of Thanksgiving? Thursday being thankful for what we have, Friday causing mass chaos to get more things.

I remember a time before such rampant commercialism.

Then again I also remember a time before Thanksgiving, so that could be a factor.

[Filtered away from Winchesters/those closely associated (eg Bobby/Jules)]

So, Lucifer made me wonder.

Does anyone think maybe he has a point? That maybe the Winchesters have been lying to us all? Or at the very least not being entirely open. They don't exactly have much to lose if defeating the devil sends us all back home, but the rest of us sure as hell do.

[Filtered to Stefan Salvatore]

We survived Thanksgiving, no one was horribly slaughtered at the dinner table and we rescued Kol's demon boytoy from Lucifer.

This means we definitely deserve a vacation, just you and me. Where do you want to go? Anywhere in the world, pick a place.

Well, we did the impossible and somehow everyone survived a holiday. I think this is an impressive feat, largely thanks to the impending wrath we might have faced from the tiny blonde who's younger than, well, all of us, if it hadn't gone well.

[Family]
And when Crowley is a functioning part of society again and not feeling like half-death... I'm coming home. I can't keep this up, I won't waste whatever borrowed time I have any more.

[Bekah]
But I completely understand why you're standing your ground and don't expect you to do anything less than exactly what you need to do. I support the standing-your-ground. You need it, and I know you do. I just can't anymore, Bekah. I can't.

[Crowley]
In the soonish sort of future when you don't feel like halfway to dead, I'm going home. Family issues be damned...I can't really justify staying away when I might be sent back to....yeah. Anyway. Just an fyi.

It's going to be weird...not having you around constantly, though.

I've been thinking.

I mean I've seen the future, so have some of you. I win, so, I win. But lets run with a hypothetical for a second. I do enjoy those.

You somehow lock me back up, every lock on the cage, every seal slips back into place. Including 33. That's the one that acted up in a way no one expected. Brought you all here when it opened.

Ruby and Sam would be fine, the abomination they spawned, Jo, she'd be fine, her girls too. Dean, well, he'd lose the one girl that ever lasted more than a drunk weekend but he'd get over it, that's what booze is for, right?

But what about the little fairytale, what about the bun in Romanoff's oven, or the sith girl, or Lady Locksley who by all rights should be dead in what you so laughingly used to call the holy land. What about those of you who go back to die, or those who found love across worlds. The fixed point in time and the solider assigned to protect the team that die around him, (Actually Harkness, is that what you saw in him) the vampire and the littlest Bennett, the doctor and the mess, Jaina Solo and...oh wait, he left you already, never mind.

Giving up a lot just to lock me away, aren't you?

So. Going with my brothers, and a former angel, a trickster god and Superkid to try to rescue Kol's demon from Lucifer. Almost certain death, even for me, and trusting in my lunatic brother not to leave me behind.

Hopefully back for Thanksgiving.

I love you, Stefan. With all my heart.

I know you didn't want to deal with me after...last time. But I was wondering if there's anything you could do in this situation with Crowley. If you even want to, I don't know.

(ETA) [Family filter]
All right, I talked to Castiel...we'll have a 5 minute window for him to...I'm not sure, exactly. He said it wasn't my concern. Basically...we need to distract the Devil for 5 minutes.

Teleporters. Who's going to help me get my demon Crowley out of Detroit?

(ETA)
Witches, can I get a glamour? And, you know, I might need someone willing to temporarily be thought to be Sam. Just long enough to make this work and we'll get you out. I suppose it's a risk people will probably yell about, but I don't think there's any better that's been suggested at this point.

My locator basically backfired. Which actually told me more than I needed because I was given a message.

Lucifer and some of his Loyalists have Crowley  in Detroit and they'll trade him for my Husband.

Now he is a friend to me, but if anyone even considers trying to use Sam to get him back I will make the very short time you have left on this earth a living hell

I'm sorry Kol. There's nothing I can do.