Reality Crisis

There were too many things swirling in the vampire's mind. Thoughts that conflicted and wants that butted heads against one another. He had a duty to the people of New Troy, he needed to take care of them. Tend to the hurt, make their wounds clean and assure that they would heal correctly. Comfort those who were scared. Help to rebuild what he could, though Eric and Pam and John had that fairly well taken care of between them.

But he also wanted Dean. And Evey.

Evey, so far away in another city. The only solace he had was that he was sure Peter would contact him if something had happened to her. There wouldn't have been any hesitation, Aidan didn't think, to get to him directly. Not with a runner, not with travel over the vast distance, but with the mind-to-mind connection that the other man was capable of.

That was about the only thing keeping Aidan sane.

He was sure that she had her own loyalties. Things to tend to, she was such a fighter when it came to the health and well being of others.

And Dean... Dean had Sam to look after. Fred, the woman he'd seen at the wedding, and the general population of die Festung. Dean would also be busy, assuring that he and everybody that he cared about was safe. Aidan even spared a moment to hope that the Impala was in tact and unharmed. He knew how much Dean cared about the car, and what it meant to the family.

He had no real way to know if Dean was okay, not like he did with Evey. He just had hope in his heart and the faith that Winchesters seemed capable of surviving pretty much anything that was thrown at them. On faith alone was Aidan kept sane on this matter.

Quickly, he worked at setting a broken arm, an injury from a fall unrelated to the recent happenings in the world. Just a kid, playing, like kids do, and falling the wrong way off of a broken wall. He smiled as he finished wrapping the limb.

"You're going to be fine. But next time, let's not play in rubble, okay? I'll send your mom in."

Aidan stood and left the room. He directed the mother in as he'd promised, and motioned that he was going to take a few moments outside. He needed air. He needed space.

Sweat-slick and aching, Evey turned the key in the lock to her flat and leaned her shoulder into the door. When it swung open, she stared into her small studio flat for a moment, then went inside. The day had been full of construction. Together with a small band of folks from die Festung, she'd been working on building the stage for Mag's play. It was good to see the people here respond so eagerly to the idea. There may just be hope for her plan to win the citizens' hearts after all. But there was so much yet to be done.

After she locked the door behind her, Evey went straight to her bathroom and stepped into the shower fully dressed. Her clothing was soaked through with sweat, and she was exhausted. It seemed a good idea to rinse them while she rinsed herself at the same time -- but she hadn't counted on the fight to get herself out of them. She nearly didn't win that one.

Peter was laughing gently at her in her mind. She shot back a wry bolt of emotion that felt like 'Shush' and 'I'm an idiot' all at the same time. His response was just more laughter, and she couldn't blame him for that.

At last, when she was finally both clean and also free of the clothing she'd been wearing, she hung her clothes in the shower, wrapped herself up in a towel, and collapsed on her bed. She'd have to move soon, and she knew it, but first she wanted to catch her breath.

She'd been drifting, when a knock at the door brought her back up into full consciousness again. It wasn't Peter; she knew that without thinking about it. Whoever it was, they were knocking a little late to be delivering happy news. She got out of bed more quickly than she wanted, threw on a skirt and shirt, and toweled her hair dryer as she hurried to the door.

When she opened the door, she forgot to hold onto that towel. It fell by her feet.

New Troy felt like even more of a foreign place to him now. Ever since he and Evey... There were more reasons for him to be back in die Festung. More people there that he wanted to be around. It wasn't just Dean anymore. The twin whirlpools of Dean and Evey tugged at him every minute of the day. It was very difficult for Aidan to not just run back across the ruins and be there.

But he'd promised.

He'd told Dean that he would allow time to heal the wounds he'd caused. He'd let Dean designate the whens and hows. It couldn't be done any other way, the vampire knew. While he thought that the friendship was repairing, he knew that Dean was still uneasy with a lot of things.

The wedding had been lovely, and he'd enjoyed seeing two people he cared about getting married. Promising to share their lives forever. And the reception had been... well. Good, and then weird, and then a little argumentative, but then good again. He could only hope that Evey and Dean didn't some how encounter one another and get into some kind of shouting match about things that they both felt about the other. The fact that he could picture it perfectly did not put him at ease in any way.

Aidan had left not too long after the reception was over. Knowing that anything more might be pushing his luck and overstaying his welcome. Dean had been happy to have him there, it felt like, but it was also the occasion of his brother's nuptials. It was hard to be pissed off or annoyed by somebody in any real way when you saw your sibling so blissful.

He'd said his goodbyes and promised Evey that she would see him again. And then he'd gathered his things and headed back alone.

Aidan had no idea if Dean would keep the invitation to the apartment open, or if he would take it back as soon as Aidan was out of earshot. There was a part of the vampire that wanted it to stay, just because it felt like it would be a huge jump in trust. But he would understand completely if it didn't. From experience, Aidan knew that he didn't have to actually be present for the takeback, it would just happen, and he wouldn't know unless he attempted to go back in.

To combat the loneliness and wanting that he felt, Aidan poured himself into his work at the hospital. He got back to the routine of being fed, and wondered when he would next see Pam or John.

Thankfully nothing came of the rustling. Fred would never say it, but she certainly thought it: something had been out there, but it seemed to be respectful of the moment. At least that moment anyway. No one stuck around to see if there was really something to fight.

Fred didn't force anyone to come to the party the brief yet very important ceremony - important to her anyway. She did mention that everyone was invited to come to a small reception back in the small town. Belia had been nice enough to give some local wine she'd been keeping; she understood as much as anyone that a wedding was a step in healing, even if it was a wedding among the Chosen. Dean had found a few bottles of hooch that wouldn't kill anyone's stomach, probably.

Fred hadn't mentioned that the card with the bottles of wine had also said something about the future, heavily implying children. While she thought Sam would have beautiful children, she wasn't ready for whatever large creature he would spawn inside her. The thought about it actually made her laugh and wince; she knew a good bit of his past after all.

She'd gotten a few donations of food and sweets to fill the stomachs of any guests. She didn't mind if anyone came from off the street. She'd even found a stringed instrument that looked like a guitar and someone to play it! So, it wasn't overly fancy or big, but it would do.

Now all the party needed was party people. She hoped people came and enjoyed themselves.

Back home, weddings might have taken months of planning and putting things together. Sam didn't much care for the idea of waiting. Not in a world that could just as easily rain death on you at a moment's notice. He loved Fred and he wanted to marry her.

She'd asked for a wedding in the fairy forest and while Sam didn't love that idea, she had a point about getting married somewhere that still looked alive and mostly untouched by the devastation that was everywhere you looked in this world.

They weren't too far in the forest. Just far enough in that they couldn't see the ruins, but not so far that they were in the very heart of faerie territory.

Sam had managed to scrounge up clean clothes that were nicer than his every day clothes. He hadn't found a suit, but he did have a nice button-up shirt, a jacket, and some slacks. Some of the locals had been excited to give clothes that had long since been forgotten in closets because they weren't practical. Weddings were a happy occasion and die Festung didn't get to see enough happiness.

Sam thought it was nice that even amidst all of the destruction, life still went on. That was why this day was important. Even if legal marriages weren't a thing anymore. Even if this was a symbolic ceremony, it was still important.

He loved Fred and he wanted to spend the rest of his life with her. Even if the rest of his life was only a few more days or years, and even if it might be decades. He thought that it was important to stop and acknowledge that and celebrate it. Because this was the sort of thing that made it all worth fighting for.

Sam tugged at his collar as he stood in between Dean and Cas and waited for Fred to make her appearance. There was a little case of nerves as he worried that maybe the bride would have second thoughts and wouldn't show. He did his best to dismiss that paranoia and watched the small opening in the trees for any sign of his future bride.

The distance between the hospital and the Chosen building wasn't short, but that suited Evey's purposes completely.

As she and Aidan walked, Evey sorted through the things she wanted to say to him, categorized them neatly, and then ordered them by importance. She'd fallen quiet while she did this, not only because she was thinking, not only because the conversation was something she didn't want to have on the street, but also because... she enjoyed the companionable silence. There was something to it, something to knowing that one didn't have to fill the spaces between meaningful conversation with easy fluff just to be comfortable with each other.

But every so often, she did turn her head and look at him. It felt like an age since she'd seen him like this -- whole and healthy and very much her next door neighbor. She was wearing a faint smile that wouldn't go away, even though there was nothing obvious that would make her smile, nothing obvious to her. When they reached their floor, she fished in her pocket for her keys and unlocked the door.

"If I invite you in, you're not going to yell at me again afterward, are you?" she said, giving him a wry look.

It was several hours before Peter woke. He felt normal again, his abilities had once again settled into his brain. The room had been cleaned, though Peter himself was still covered in blood. He muttered under his breath and got up from the cot. He looked at the bed, where Evey was still laid out. He had to fix things. Aidan was right. But he didn't want Evey waking up to see Peter like this.

A shower and a change of clothes in the hospital locker room later, Peter came back into the room. He shut the door behind him again - he needed as little interruption as possible. If he could fix this (and he sincerely hoped he could), it would take all the focus he could muster.

It was over an hour. Replacing the link was the only way to fix things right now, but he could remove it more carefully once it was finished. The healing it took was incredibly complex, combined with telepathic use he'd never tried before. When it was over, he laid his head on their joined hands, needing a minute to catch his breath before going on to remove the link.

The doctors and nurses were working on Carlos. He would be fine, they told him. He was stable, they'd gotten some blood into him. Peter wanted to go find the bags of his own blood he'd held on the side for Aidan, but realized he wouldn't be able to get to them without his powers. He'd hidden them away too well.

And no way was Harry going to remove the damn collar from his neck once he knew what Peter had done to Carlos. So the only option was to wait until Carlos was well enough to do that himself.

If he ever thought it should happen.

The nurses had told him about Evey. Idiopathic catatonic state. She was breathing, her automatic nervous system was working, but apart from that? Nothing. No responses whatsoever.

Peter wasn't sure who had brought him to her room. He didn't remember anything but the black haze of despair as he saw the consequences of his rage was laid out in that bed, another room of white sheets and sterile personality. Two friends, two dear friends, that had paid the price of trying to help him. He didn't know which nurse it had been to give him a sedative when he'd broken a windowpane, trying to tear through his skin and avenge them.

He'd woken up hours later, his wrists bandaged, to see grating over the window and all sharp or breakable items carefully removed from the room. He'd been laid out on a cot, covered in blankets, still in the same room where Evey lie, still and warm and vacant. He dragged a chair to her side, wrapped his hand over hers, and waited until the sedatives took him back to sleep once more, his head resting on one arm, still holding onto her.

Somehow, and Aidan still wasn't sure how, he'd convinced Dean to let him go to die Festung to check on everyone. There were people he was friends with that Dean wasn't, and it seemed like a pain in the ass to ask his friend to play any kind of telephone game. And that was if he could even track everyone down. He didn't know if Dean would be ready for any of that, but given the night spent on the couch, Aidan felt brave enough to ask.

When the permission had been granted, Aidan ran as fast as he could to leave word for Eric and the others, and hurried home to pack. He wasn't staying forever, he knew that. He wasn't even going to ask right now. He just wanted to pop in and say hi, make sure everyone was okay. Maybe spend one night. Then he'd head back to New Troy.

It would be good to see people again. Good to see that city again. He missed it.

And it would be good to see Evey again. Peter too. In a situation that didn't have to do with life saving. He wouldn't admit it, even to himself, but he was geared up to see his neighbor girl. To see her smile, hear her voice.

As they left the gates of New Troy, Aidan spared a glance back. He'd see it again soon. He knew that. It was just strange to be walking away from it, knowing where he was headed.

He was worried about people in die Festung after the quakes, but he'd made a promise to not go there until gave the go-ahead. Even in checking up on his friends, he might do something wrong just by showing up at the wall. It wasn't worth the risk, he didn't think.

Aidan busied himself as best he could at the hospital, listening in to what news filtered through the ruins to the people here. He wasn't really sure what of it was absolute truth and what was just rumor. And he didn't get to hear anything specific about anybody. He hoped that something real would come through soon.

After his shift, he decided to avoid everything else and just go home. He didn't want to talk to the other vampires, and he didn't feel like being social in any way. Aidan wasn't in the mood for being nice. Not to anybody.

Now that the events of the earthquakes were fading into the past and life in New Troy was getting back to normal, Aidan found himself with much time on his hands. He was staying away from the hospital because of the blood he'd taken directly from Evey. He found himself attracted to the smell of blood still in the veins of people that he passed by, and with traumas, he just didn't trust that he could keep himself restrained.

It was getting easier, but the first few days - the days before the event - he'd kept to himself. Locking himself into the basement and leaving the blood left on his doorstep there until it was almost undrinkable. It had been another risk he didn't want, blood even that fresh passing over his lips. It had to be more dead if he was going to kick the craving. He didn't get the amounts he'd gotten used to because of it. The clotting was disgusting.

At least now he didn't want to pounce on the delivery people, and he could accept the jars from them directly, drink them almost right away. There was care on his part, however, continually. He made sure that he avoided Pam, since he wasn't certain that her charms and wily ways wouldn't sway him into doing something that he would regret soon after, and continue to regret for his duration in New Troy, since he was certain she would use it against him somehow. To get him to drink again, perhaps, or to taunt him for being a lesser vampire. He didn't know.

But all of this avoiding left him with the time to think. Hours upon hours that he could consider what had transpired between him and Evey. Not just her donation to him, a thing that he was astounded by, and angered by, and had somehow broken whatever spell had been placed on him - there was no longer agony in his feedings, and no need to confine himself to the basement so that others nearby wouldn't hear him.

Beyond that, he'd felt that there had been a moment. Something there between them. His concern for her life and safety hadn't been at all an act. If she'd died, and done so by his hand, he would have killed everything that crossed his path. He would have gone back to die Festung to convince Dean to end his life. Even if he'd had to slaughter half the city to convince his friend that's what needed to happen, he would have done it. He wouldn't have been able to live past it. And it wasn't just because she was a good person, he realized.

She was. A good person. A helpful person. Brave and true and loyal. She was strong, and she was what this world needed. But he'd be an idiot to try to keep telling himself that his motivation was only due to that.

Which is what he'd been doing. There had been other moments between them. Things approaching tenderness. Minutes filled with uncertain tension that seemed to drag on for eternity. He returned again and again to the bathroom, filled with steam. Her hand on his chest, trying to push him into the water. Her shock and surprise at his strength written in her eyes. And he thought again about the minutes after Peter's saving her. Thinking of her face cupped in his hands, of what might have happened if there hadn't been blood everywhere and an audience.

Aidan sat on the edge of his bed, unable to sleep, looking at the night sky beyond his window. The need to feel safe at work again was trifold now. If he didn't get back to it soon, he was going to drive himself into madness.

Aidan couldn't say exactly why he was in the ruins. Eric had not told him to be. Ever since he'd helped to destroy the wendigo, though, he'd felt the need to come back out. Perhaps he was looking to be a hero again, save somebody again, make sure that the citizens of New Troy didn't have anything more to worry about. This was the lie that he told himself. The reality, and he knew it, deep down he knew it, was that he was looking for Dean. He wanted to know if his friend was his friend again. He wanted to know if he could return to die Festung and start the process of rebuilding what he had broken.

If not Dean, then maybe he would see Sam. He could ask the taller Winchester about his brother, find out how he felt now. If the saving had done anything to lessen the anger that Dean felt about the betrayal. If maybe Dean were relaxing a bit more on his kill-on-sight stance, or if it had just been that day. If saving Sam had bought Aidan just that one day of peace and familiarity.

They were hunters. They couldn't stay in the city to kill off the things that they didn't want to see in this world. They would have to venture out. Aidan just hoped that they wouldn't be venturing out for him, specifically. He didn't think that Sam would do anything to help. He didn't think that Sam would even accompany Dean on a task like that. He didn't seem to want to, and Fred wouldn't want him to, either. That didn't mean that Dean wouldn't. He knew that. It made his heart ache to know, but lying to himself might just end up with one of them dead.

Out in the ruins, he could escape. He could run. He didn't have to risk Pam or Eric, or even John, seeing the confrontation and aiming to kill Dean because he'd attacked not only another vampire, but somebody they'd given their protection to. In the ruins, Dean would remain safe past his expressed anger. It would make Aidan sad to know that was how his friend still felt, it would crush him to see the backslide into the hurt and determination that had mixed in Dean that day in his apartment. But at least then, he would know.

He heard the sound of a pack of wild dogs, not having any fear of them for himself, just noting where they were so that he wouldn't have to deal with them. He didn't think there was anybody else out here. Not now. As much as he hoped to turn a corner and run into Dean again, Aidan didn't think that was going to happen today.

Aidan left die Festung with a heaviness that was just a little bit lighter than it had been before. Dean hadn't killed him. Had not, in fact, seemed like that's what he wanted to do. Had, in fact, let him speak to Fred to relay the instructions of what to do for Sam instead of them being written down.

While he knew that he wasn't going to be able to go back to life the way that it had been, probably ever, or even go back to something resembling it any time soon, Aidan was okay with it. Dean was recovering from the shock of what Aidan was. They would need to have a talk about it, maybe. A long one. Maybe a fight. Probably not a physical fight. Not now that Dean knew what Aidan was and was aware of the strength. Or maybe there would be.

The vampire knew that he couldn't put his life in New Troy on hold while he waited for Dean to come around. He had responsibilities at the hospital, and he had friends that he had made here. It would be rude and a disservice to everybody if he let it fall to the wayside.

Briefly, he wondered why New Troy and die Festung didn't pool resources and become one city. Given the power between the two, they could be a formidable army of sorts. And who knew what was out there in the world, beyond the ruins and the forest?

One of the most important tasks that Aidan had was dispatching the thing that had been taking citizens of New Troy. He still didn't know exactly why he hadn't been allowed to take Pam or John with him, which would have made the job easier, but he knew better than to question the older vampire on such matters. Eric had his reasons, and those were not for Aidan to hear. Apparently.

He waited in the living room of the grand house while the sun set. It was still a bit strange for him to be on this schedule with the others, but if he wanted to talk to Pam or John at all, he had to be awake when they were. Mostly that meant overnights and swing shifts at the hospital. Sleeping where he could catch a nap. Not having a set routine.

The life of a nurse, really.

( Chatty vampires )

(Continued from here.)

"Yeah, their mom, mother," Dean turned just in time to see one thing he never wanted to see again. Certainly not this way. Not as it took his little brother off. He moved quickly to pick up the flare gun, but he knew the damn beast moved too quickly for a shot to work. He needed to get it in its hole. Of course, knowing this didn't help anything. He also knew what Sam would see and feel. He knew what would happen back in the Wendigo's lair, cave, whatever the hell it would be call.

Calling for Castiel wasn't a bad idea at the moment, but what could the angel do? Plus, Dean and Sam had faced this thing down before. He could find it and kill it. He could handle it on his own. He would find his missing brother.

There was a small nagging at the back of his head. It told him that he couldn't do this. He couldn't save Sam; this was how he lost his little brother. This was why those little girls were named after dead men. This had to be it. This was when he lost the last of his blood relatives.

"Son of a bitch." The hunter growled, set his shoulders, and started in the direction he believed the Wendigo would go. There were rumors of large buildings with adequate basements. By now, the places probably resembled caves. That or there were some caves, underground, in the forest. Either way, he'd find Sam, and he'd save him. Sam would get to know his nieces, dammit.

Aidan was at work when it happened. Tending to a patient. He didn't have any warning signs that it was going to occur, he was talking and laughing with a nice elderly woman who had sprained her ankle, teasing her about trying to chase down young, handsome men, when suddenly he was out. He didn't even feel his body hit the floor. No weakness of limbs, no dizziness.

There was just blackness.

A big, empty void. Nothing.

He felt disconnected from himself, from the world, from everybody he had ever known. There was no sense of physical being at all. No sense of self. Not a single emotion welled within him, when he was sure that he should be freaking out. Panicking. Feeling sad. Lonely.

Just... nothing.

It felt like it stretched on into eternity, and as if he'd been in this state for some time. He didn't know how he got there, didn't have any idea why. There was just the removal of all the things he had ever known.

When he came to again, Aidan was on a hospital bed. There were a couple of doctors standing around him. They'd tried to figure out what was wrong, but it was hard to diagnose a vampire. He didn't exactly have any vitals to check, so they couldn't even know if he was still alive. They'd been discussing what to do next when his eyes fluttered open. He thought he heard one of them say something about giving it until sunset and then finding Eric.

They were all a bit surprised when they looked down at him and discovered he was looking right back. Nobody knew what to say for a couple of beats. They all just stared at one another. Aidan included.

"Are you feeling alright?" One of the doctors finally ventured.

"Yeah, perfectly fine. What happened?" Aidan replied, confused. Pulling himself into a sitting position.

"We were hoping you could tell us. Mrs Felix said that you just dropped like bricks obeying gravity."

"I have no idea." He shook his head at the doctors. "I've never had anything like that happen before."

"Maybe you should go home for the day, Aidan. Rest up. Or do you want to check in here? We can monitor you. I mean, we can't like, hook you up to anything, since that would be useless, but we can keep an eye on you for 24 hours."

"How about a compromise. I'll hang out in the nurses' station for a few hours, if nothing else happens, I'll go home, sleep it off."

"Okay. Up to you."

Aidan nodded and swung his legs off the bed. He hoped he never experienced that - whatever it was - ever again.

Sam had received Dean's note which just brought more urgency to getting his own questions answered. He could appreciate his brother's need to end things, but he had to know the full story. He couldn't just let Dean kill the best friend he'd had in a long while-possibly ever-until Sam had made good and sure that Aidan really was simply a monster.

Sam left Dean a note of his own that said that he had one thing to take care of and then they could go hunting. He just hoped that the older Winchester would wait. Or at the very least, Sam hoped that he could find Aidan first.

He considered where a vampire on the run might go and while Sanctuary was closer, Sam thought that New Troy was more likely. It would be a lot easier to hide what he was, if he was trying to hide, in a place that had a larger population. And if he was simply looking for a food source, it would be a lot easier to find that too.

Despite the fact that this was a fact-finding mission, Sam still armed himself to the hilt. Since it was likely that vampires in this world could be different, he had the gamut of weapons that might work. From stakes and garlic to a machete and of course the typical gun with salt rounds and gun with silver rounds.

He was ready for the worst case scenario that involved things going the wrong way, but he was hoping that they didn't. He'd seen vampires before who were determined to fight their nature, who didn't want to hurt. If Aidan was that sort, then maybe Sam could convince Dean to leave him alone.

He made it to New Troy without incident and started to ask around. He was more than a little concerned at the fact that everyone directed him to the hospital. While it wasn't news that Aidan was a nurse, Sam did see it in a different light now that he realized that Aidan was a vampire working around people who were more helpless than usual. He found the hospital after getting directions and stepped into the waiting room, eyes searching for any sign of Aidan.

The blood was dangerously close to drinking live.

They filled what looked to Aidan to be preserves jars and left them on his front steps, just behind a planter. Every few days, Aidan would leave the cleaned out jars he'd finished with on the steps in the same place. It was less than the others were getting for their daily rations, he'd been informed of as much. But it was more than he'd been allowing himself to have in die Festung. The blood was always still a bit warm when he got to it, after hearing the knock on his door. He didn't dare let it cool to room temperature, since there was no anti-clotting agent in the jars like there was in the blood bags. And he couldn't bring himself to let them fill those instead, not wanting to take any of New Troy's hospital resources any more than he'd wanted to take die Festung's.

He always took his jars down to the basement to drink. The walls were thick and the basement was cool. He was fairly sure that nobody could hear his cries of agony down there. Maybe the vampires could, but that was something that he'd have to deal with. He wasn't willing to walk the jars of blood far enough out of town to be sure that none of the vampires knew. That was just stupid.

Aidan was feeling better than he had in a long time. The daily allotments in New Troy had him looking better, too. He knew he'd be warmer to the touch, as well. For all the bad that had happened, he looked at the positive things that had come of the transition. He had to, or he would break down from all the loss.

He took up a position at the hospital here, giving himself a small taste of normalcy in spite of everything else. The hours they gave him were somewhat erratic, though. He was the only one that they knew who could cover just about any shift, not having any family or any other commitments in the town. He was also the only one with his particular skills, the ones that came with being a vampire, that could work during the day. They marveled at him walking through the streets with the sun high in the sky. It hadn't taken long for the rumor of his blood jars to get through the place.

It was kind of nice, actually, to be able to be himself completely.

The sun had gone down, and Aidan was sleeping. He had taken a very early morning shift, starting at 4am, and had ended up having to stay the entire day. He'd only been released about an hour ago. His blood had been waiting for him, still warm somehow, like they'd been watching for him or something, or like somebody knew when he'd be back home. Aidan had picked it up, and gone immediately to the basement. When he was done, he rinsed the jar in the sink down there and set it in the box he kept for collecting. It clinked lightly against another already residing within. Then he'd gone right for his bed.

Aidan approached the gates of New Troy as the sun was going down. He could have traveled the distance between the two settlements much faster if he'd wanted to, but he'd dragged his feet instead.

After meeting with Dinah, he'd found a quiet cave-like rock structure to feed in, the curse ripping through him the whole time he drained the bag. After he was done, he'd slept. Right there on the ground. Aidan hadn't thought it was possible that he would sleep so soon after what he'd been through, he'd thought he wouldn't ever be able to sleep again.

When he woke, he'd had no idea how much time had passed, only that he needed to move out of the cave. And he was very sore, with possible permanent rock indentations in his back. He'd known that at least a day had gone by, since his footprints in the snow were covered over with fresh powder.

As he looked up at the gates and the guards, Aidan decided that he was going to try to not immediately hate this. He was going to give New Troy a fair chance. Just because he didn't know many people inside didn't mean he couldn't get to know them.

Aidan had thrown his bag over the wall in order to not raise too much suspicion about his leaving. He didn't want questions asked, and he thought he might be slightly too high profile for Belia to let go of easily. His work in the hospital had surely made him known to her, so while he still hadn't met her face to face, he could feel her eyes.

It wasn't until he was outside himself that Aidan realized night might not be the best time to try to cross the ruins to get to New Troy. He'd only been once, which was a great way to get lost. Adding to that the amount of unknown creatures out there and his lack of knowledge when it came to Netvors and dog packs as to their habits at night, he found himself turning to the fae forest.

He knew there was a settlement within, Sanctuary. There was a chance he'd be able to find help within. Maybe a place to go. The idea of being so close to die Festung sat badly with him, however. Going somewhere where he might relive this entire ordeal in any way didn't appeal to him in the least, either. New Troy was where he needed to go. A place with vampires who didn't hide. A place where he would be mocked for trying to sustain human life instead of accused of taking it actually sounded good. He knew John there, and Pam. He had no idea if their sire, Eric, would accept him, but he had to try.

So the only thing to do was find a place to be for the night. He might have laughed at that, a vampire trying to bed down while the moon was up, if he'd had any trace of humor left in his body. Currently he was sitting in the numb denial phase, his brain refusing to play back the trauma of his encounter with Dean, staunchly refusing to accept that it had actually happened despite the fact that he was standing outside the wall of his home, trying to figure out where to go.

The yellow bag dangling from one hand was heavy not because of the things shoved hastily into it, but because of the meaning it carried. Aidan stood staring at it, unmoving, blanking out entirely to everything around him.

Aidan sprinted out of Dean's apartment, his heart heavier than he'd ever known it could be. It was luck and nothing more that he'd gotten out of Dean's apartment whole. That neither of them had gotten more hurt. The only blood Aidan had on him was from the cut Dean had sustained with the potatoes. It was quickly drying on his palm.

He opted for the stairs, taking them three and four at a time, headed upward, aimed toward his own front door. All the while, Aidan replayed the scene he'd just been a part of. It couldn't possibly have gone worse, though he also couldn't see how it could have gone better. This was what he'd been picturing would happen, always. From the start. He had never been able to see this go any other way. Just disappointment and violence and lots of pain. The happenings tonight were exactly why Aidan hadn't wanted Dean to know. His words to Dinah and Evey echoed in his head. The reasons why he'd not told anybody what he was. The reason why Dean was kept in the dark. Aidan was absolutely everything Dean hated. He had known from the start. If there had been just a small glimmer of hope, there would never have been a secret.

The blood was still tacky enough to leave behind a hand print as he met his front door and shoved it open. It hit the opposite wall and rebounded, closing itself with a surprisingly soft click. Aidan wasn't paying any attention to it at all. The last thing he cared about was the door.

There was a duffel bag under his bed, and Aidan went for it first. His body was moving under its own momentum. Muscle memory of incidents long in the past in which he had needed to make himself scarce in an area. A vampire always knew how to disappear. He spent time gathering the clothes from his closet and out of his drawers and shoving them unceremoniously into the worn yellow nylon. He didn't need much, really. Packing them now was done more out of the idea that this world was sparse and he couldn't be sure that he'd be able to collect any more belongings, and he didn't want to take anything more from these people than he already had. He'd never wanted to take from those who had more of a need than he did.

In the back of his mind, Aidan thought that he should leave Evey a note. But if he did, then it would implicate her. If Dean went door to door to try to find out who knew what, and he connected her, what would he do to her? Would he then be suspicious of everybody? What would he say if he knew that Dinah was in on the secret? Or Peter? He had worked side by side with people who knew what Aidan was. That had kept the lie. That wouldn't lessen the sting.

Aidan wouldn't risk Dean losing more people because of him.

With a quick stop at his pantry to fish out the case of Chamomile, found and placed there after his last incident, Aidan was done. He needed to be away from die Festung before Dean stopped fighting with himself on what to do. Aidan didn't think that the decision would swing in his favor. He still felt the way he had when he'd talked to Dinah. He didn't want to fight Dean. He didn't want to hurt him. And he didn't want to die.

The burns that had appeared on his face were even slower to heal than the ones that had happened in Evey's apartment. He'd not stayed half as long after the second revoked invitation, but the wounds were worse, and it hurt more.

Aidan opted for the window instead of the door. There was only one set of stairs. Aidan couldn't promise himself that he wouldn't try to talk sense into Dean. He couldn't make a guarantee to himself that he wouldn't knock and try to smooth it all over. Even now. Even after seeing Dean holding weapons in two hands, fully intending to use them. A sight that punctured him again and made him take a moment in the middle of leaving the apartment to gather himself. The tears that had fallen threatened again. His hand on the glass pane that steadied him against the flood of emotions spoke to him of how cold it was out there. Despite the freeze that would likely happen before the sunrise, Aidan was numb to the sensation. Nothing could be worse than what he was feeling now. Nothing could be worse than the look he'd seen in Dean's eyes.

It was seven floors up, but he knew he could make the jump and survive it easily. Without pausing to don a jacket, Aidan let himself out into the night.