Zenith : In Character Network → Computer Communica

I can't think of anything weird enough

I was on the subway once and watched a guy clipping his fingernails. he actually took one of the clipped nails and used it to floss his front teeth.

That was weird (and yes it was really disgusting).

So, last night Oliver, Marco and I ended up talking D&D again, so I'm trying to work on a game again. I've never DMed, which is why I keep putting this off, because I don't want a bunch of people who have never played to be turned off from the game because I did it bad. Have either of you DMed before? Any tips? Also, do you guys want to be involved, and if you do, how comfortable would you be with helping in the planning phase? I feel both very interested in doing this, and also terrified of doing this. I figured I'd poke at you guys before I start seeing who else is interested again.

I don't know if it's the weirdest

got a call to help a man who'd had a heart attack. by the time we got there one of the other EMTs began CPR despite the fact that rigor had set in. the man's arm flew up and punched the EMT in the face and broke his glasses. left a nasty bruise on his nose and left eye. never saw a corpse punch someone before. so yeah that was weird.

Honest to god, no lie, I was working one day, and we had a client come in with their pet duck, telling us there was something wrong with it, because it couldn't swim. It was just like a really bad swimmer. I had to stand there and explain to this person that their duck was actually a CHICKEN, and I honestly don't know how they thought that their chicken was a duck. To this day, I still think about how strange it was that this full grown adult BOUGHT a CHICKEN thinking that they were spending their money on a DUCK.

oh the stories I could use

one of the dancers I worked with had this move where she could hook her leg around the pole and lift her body parallel to the floor. one night she actually fell on her face and broke her nose. blood was everywhere. one of our regulars leaned over and licked some of the blood from the stage.

so yeah. that was weird. and disgusting.

[Attempt 1] Well, I've been a vendor at a bunch of cons before and well... there are some cosplays I regret seeing.

[Attempt 2] Okay, you want me to be more specific, alright.

I've worked at Heroes for Hire since I was sixteen, I became a key holding manager right after I turned 18. I was often in charge of our 'away team' which was basically a crew I would take with me to run our booth at local conventions... and well, it was 2014.

This is only important, because for those of you who don't know, this was BronyCon's biggest year and when that happens... well, copy cat cons form. BronyCon happened in Baltimore, and closer to home in Texas HarmonyCon started. Along the same lines, it was dedicated to all lovers of My Little Pony: Friendship is magic. We had just gotten a bunch of their comics and collectables, and so away we went.

This brought on a weird sect of Con followers and Cosplayers--- from realistic MLP horse style cosplays, to equestria girls and... well, Brony's in their finest furry fetish gear. I say this not to shame anyone of, of course, but...

It was weird. To see some little girls child show turned complete fetish galore. It was actually one of the last cons I did before coming here.

When I was working as an intern at a marketing firm one summer during college, one of the junior executives used to bring her pet iguana to the office every day. she'd walk around with it on her shoulder like it was a parrot and it barely moved except for when it was blinking. she told people it was her emotional support pet. everyone was too scared of her to say anything.

that was pretty weird.

You guys know that I'm a guy who literally sees weird shit on a regular basis, right? Like my brain's really good at making up weird shit? My first visual hallucinations were of a man who lived halfway in the ground of the soccer field that I used to play in. Kind of like how I was in the ground yesterday, I guess? Except he liked it, he just lived there, and he was dead so he was fucking creepy, and he wanted my skin so I couldn't go near him. He never said he wanted my skin, but I knew. He's probably the weirdest thing I've seen, but I don't know if you guys will count this because he's not real.

I live in NY so I've seen some weird crap, but I don't really know how to quantify it all. I'd say the movie Gummo was hands down pretty friggin weird though. It was the most unexpected level of disturbing I think I've experienced, and for a while it just made me think of people differently in the most uncomfortable way possible. Don't watch it if you like cats. Or people. Or anything.

Has anybody thanked you for yesterday? No? Boo hoo.

I don't really know. I've seen a lot of weird stuff that people leave in their cars when they leave them to get something fixed. kind of an invasion of privacy though. one time I was on the bus there was this guy with headphones singing really loud for a few stops and acted like he couldn't hear the bus driver when people told him to stop. it turned out the cord wasn't connected to anything. that was pretty weird.

[...]

I didn't really get out much.

[#1] the strangest thing I saw before this was your mom's bumhole

[#2] that time at the circus when I was high

[#3} So when I was sixteen my parents decided to take us to this big circus performance. I'd never been before because of my deprived foster childhood and all that, so it was gonna be cool. Right before we left I took some molly I got from this dude at school. IDK why, I just thought it'd be a good idea. It was my dad, my mom, my brother who was 19 then and my sister who was 18. We got inside and did the whole shebang, ya know... weird glasses, cotton candy, hot dogs, popcorn, gigantic sodas. The lights went down and by then I was feeling weird. I know it was MDNA and not acid or whatever, but I was tripping. I guess some people are more sensitive to shit than others. They had all kinds of stuff along with the animal acts. People on trapezes and balancing, lights, music, fog and special effects. I kept seeing weird shit and to this day I dunno what was real and what was imagined. I thought there was this guy with his face painted like the devil who kept watching me from around corners and from behind seats, and I saw stuff in the fog whenever the lights would go down and then come back on. Creepy as fuck.

My brother caught on about halfway through and he kept giving me that your ass is mine when this is over look. Right before the end I had to go puke up about a gallon of soda and hot dogs and I felt a little better even though after we got home I got the full lecture from Johnathan about how I was an idiot and drugs were stupid. He never told on me though and I never took molly again until I was 20 or so.

UGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGH.

Anyway, my uncle owns a bar in Chicago and I "helped" out there before you all abducted me. He had a regular by the name of Charlie who came in every Friday for exactly three beers. that's all normal stuff, obviously. but he also carried a human skull that belonged to his grandmother. apparently he was raised by her and when she passed he paid off the mortician to give him the skull as a keepsake. I don't know how they did it, or how much money was exchanged, but he would put the skull on the bar counter while he drank and watched sports. He also occasionally "fed" the skull peanuts too.

Yo so first off y'all gotta know that you've outdone every Florida Man bullshit thing I've ever seen

Before this place I think the weirdest shit I saw was some guy in full fucking fetish gear walking around Publix supermarket. I'm talking full leather jumpsuit high heels leather gimp mask being led around on a leash by some other guy. It was fucked. I recorded that shit and put it on youtube.

The weirdest thing I've ever seen before this place? I mean, it's probably going to seem tame in comparison but there was this one time at a New Year's Eve party at a friend's place. It was like 4 am and we were all outside, saying goodbye and whatever, and this random dude walked up to a friend of mine and asked her to spit in his hands. She did, which was weird, and after that the guy used it to wash his face and then said goodnight and walked away.

Attempt 1: I mean, I've seen GWAR play live.

Attempt 2: I went to a music festival where GWAR was playing, and that was a crazy experience. Part of their whole deal is that all the members are in costumes that are intense and bulky and weird, and through their show they bring on people to "dismember" during songs, which involves spraying the crowd with lots and lots and lots of fake blood, while the main guy has a costume piece over his crotch that's basically an eye surrounded by four dicks? And a lot of their fans go to shows dressed in all white so they can get sprayed, and then they have their souvenir blood spatter shirt. A fake chainsaw came out at one point, and a dinosaur? Everyone's covered in spikes, they draw abs on their belly fat, there are fake decapitations. It's a fucking insane show. It was fun as hell, but one of the weirdest experience I've had before this place.

[Attempt 1] That I can think of right now, camel spiders.

[Attempt 2] Camel spiders. They're some of the freakiest looking bugs I've ever seen. During daylight hours in the desert they'll actively chase people to hide in their shadow. They also like to show up in your bunk at night. Pretty harmless critters, but you'd be surprised how many hardass grunts turn into squishy babies when one turns up.

This Japanese gameshow called Denpa Shonen where this guy had to survive on nothing but winnings from sweepstakes until he earned a million yen worth of prizes. They tossed him in an apartment with no food or clothes or furniture, just a little table he could sit at with a radio and postcards he could write prize entries on, and shelf full of magazines that had contests. He only ended up with like a pair of ladies underwear for clothes the whole time, and I think for most of it he ended up cooking whatever food he won in a soup can. They had to move his apartment a few times because the whole thing was being streamed live on the internet 24/7, and people in Japan were starting to figure out where he was.

In the end it took him something like a year to earn the million yen, but then they didn't even release him. They didn't even tell him he'd made it. They moved him to fucking Korea or Taiwan or something (I don't totally remember that part) and made him do it all over again in language he didn't even speak. Then when they finally let him go they acted like they were moving him to another new apartment, so he was sitting there naked, waiting for stuff to start again, and it turned out they'd just stuffed him into a tiny Japanese-apartment-sized box that they pulled away, and he was sitting in front of a live studio audience in his birthday suit.

See? This is why you should have let me have coffee all those mornings you pulled this shit. I work better caffeinated.

Day 45.