InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "Well, that's just stupid!"

MarinaNova NPCs (marinanova_npc) wrote in marinanova,
@ 2013-11-04 20:41:00

Entry tags:

:mingle, annabelle, aradia megido, bak chang, bart allen, brian moser, catherine halsey, charlotte charles, duo maxwell, euphemia li britannia, haruka tenoh, hei, helen magnus, jean-luc picard, kitty pryde (aoa), kitty pryde (evolution), lacus clyne, lyle dylandy, martha jones, mgann morzz, michiru kaiou, penelope garcia, piper halliwell, piter de vries, rebecca crane, sam winchester, sougo okita, spencer reid, tear grants, terry mcginnis, tieria erde, trowa barton, tyki mikk, yuuki kuran, yuuri shibuya, zero kiryuu

Wonderland Event — Dome-wide mingle
[ There were blankets set out in the lush parks of the prison, and on top a feast was spread out. Fine china and chubby pots of tea, delicate cake trays filled with tarts, biscuits and sandwiches; yes, anything the hungry and weary prisoners could wish for was laid out for their convenience.

The sun was shining brightly and a playful breeze rustles the leaves of the trees. Surely a wonderful day for a tea party! ]

((ooc: Mingle for your mingling needs! Event information can be found here! ))

(Read comments) - (Post a new comment)

lifelines
2013-11-09 10:49 pm UTC (link)

And with that one question, Helen realizes she's left out an integral part of her history: the Source Blood. If they weren't holding hands so tightly and if she hadn't threaded their fingers together at some point during all of this, she would have gotten up. Her instinct is to tell this sort of tale from afar, where she can protect herself and keep herself isolated. It says a great deal that she's remaining in place next to him, let alone that she's still holding onto him. She has no idea how he'll react to any of this. He may well pull away and want her to leave and she can't say she would blame him if he did. Feeling the angry sting of tears in her eyes, she hastily lifts her free hand to scratch them away, as though her eyes simply itch and nothing more. She doubts this next part of the story will be easy for Jean-Luc to hear.

"In 1886, after I procured a sample of ancient, untainted vampire blood, a group of colleagues and I derived a serum from it, with the intention of injecting it into our own blood to see what would happen. The result was the activation of our dormant Abnormal DNA. For me, it was my longevity; James Watson's intelligence was heightened and he became the model for the Sherlock Holmes series; Nigel Griffin became photosensitive and he was later known as the Invisible Man; Nikola Tesla's half-vampire DNA made its presence known; and John's ability was teleportation." In essence, she accidentally created a half-vampire, the Invisible Man, Sherlock Holmes, and Jack the Ripper. The serum had been her idea, after all.

"It was either the energy elemental he picked up during one of his teleportation attempts or the Source Blood," she answers. "I'll likely never know which or if it was a combination of both, but somehow... I've come to think that those killer instincts were always there; the Source Blood simply made them more pronounced." She has her suspicions because of how Ashley turned out, but she'll never get a chance to find out. And perhaps it's better that way. At least now she only has the one huge heartbreak and not a lot of little ones. Now she has Jean-Luc and she needs to focus on him.

Taking a deep breath, she finally turns back to him. She's ignoring the tears in her eyes, focusing entirely on the man she's sitting here with. Her free hand moves to gently cup his cheek, her thumb carefully caressing his skin. "Losing him destroyed a part of me. I'm not like some people; I don't form attachments easily. John isn't the important part of my life anymore. You are and I want you to know that I will always fight for you." She's no good at heartfelt conversations when they involve her own feelings, but for this man, she's trying. "I care very deeply for you, Jean-Luc, and I know you're nothing like John. He had a choice; he always did and he never returned to the man he was when I met him. You have... and I am so glad to have you back."

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

tea_earlgreyhot
2013-11-10 10:08 am UTC (link)

Jean-Luc is so deeply ensconced in her story and in her reaction to said story that he sort of misses the point of her telling this to him in the beginning. He wants to reach up and brush some of her tears away, but her own hand keeps getting there first, and he isn't entirely sure such an act would be welcome as he knows how difficult it is for Helen to speak of this at all. The emotion of it alone is oozing out of her every pore.

All he can do is hold her hand, listen intently, and try to understand exactly what had happened with the lot of her colleagues. His free hand even comes over to rest over their joined hands so that hers is cocooned safely between his.

It's the mention of 'choice' that speaks to him most. It's the mention of 'choice' that makes him connect the dots, put the two stories together and make it personal for himself as well. No, he hadn't had a choice with the Borg, with Locutus. That had been taken away from him. His choice had come later when his crew had disconnected him from the Collective. He could fight his way back out of the hive mind or continue as Locutus. Most liberated Drones continued on as themselves rather than allowing the person they were before to reroot itself in their mind. But Jean-Luc had made the choice to fight and he had been just that stubborn and tenacious to win. Not that he had come out of it unscathed, no... his scars were internal and there were many of them.

He draws in a deep breath, having made the connection between her story and his. His hands don't leave hers, but he does look off across the Dome, deep in thought for several moments before speaking. "Character is much easier kept than recovered." He speaks quietly, nods just a bit. "I worried he would use me to hurt you. People I care about."

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

lifelines
2013-11-10 02:02 pm UTC (link)

When he turns his head, she allows her hand to fall to his shoulder, not wanting to force him to look at her if he needs time to himself. He had allowed her that same time, a chance to distance herself in order to tell her story properly, and so she would allow him the same.

"The problem is, Jean-Luc, some of those people who care for you in return know well you were not the one in control. It may have been your body, but that was not your mind. You weren't the one placing the knife at my throat." Whether she's being literal about that experience or not is left up for debate. "John has threatened me so much more than you have, more than even Locutus did. At one point, he would have outright killed me if he'd had the chance." And if she hadn't killed him first. "This is hardly the first time I've been in danger of being hurt by someone I've come to love."

The word slips out before she even realizes it and she plows onward so she doesn't have to think about it and in the hope that Jean-Luc won't notice. The hand on his shoulder returns to his cheek and she gently coaxes him to look back at her so she can lean in to very gently and very briefly press a kiss to his lips. It isn't much, but she hopes it will help cement in his mind that she isn't holding this against him.

"I wasn't lying, what I told Locutus. You aren't alone, Jean-Luc." The expression in her eyes is clearly asking him to let her help him; she cares enough to want to do anything she can to make this easier on him, even if it involves letting him cry on her shoulder or simply hold her like this.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

tea_earlgreyhot
2013-11-17 02:49 pm UTC (link)

He didn't miss that word, love. How could he have missed it. And something inside of him sparked to life, a part of him that was every bit the human he'd been born as, a part of him that Locutus could never hope to dissect and understand. Love wasn't in the Borg vocabulary. Emotions weren't in their repertoire. Attachments to specific individuals wasn't something they could comprehend. They were one. They were the Collective. They didn't hurt when they lost some of their own kind. They didn't weep for individuals or for the horror they inflicted on other civilizations, ripping families apart and taking away a person's freedom in every aspect.

They couldn't love. Not until they were disconnected, liberated from the singular mind and singular mission of their Queen.

But he wasn't Locutus. He wasn't Borg. He was Captain Jean-Luc Picard, one of only a handful who had withstood being Assimilated. He had his own thoughts and emotions and feelings and attachments and goodness if he didn't love her too. Her hand at his cheek, he looks into her eyes, his filled with a stubborn resilience even in his current less than positive state of mind.

Lifting one hand, he places his over hers at his cheek and laces his fingers with hers as he pulls it away from his face, from the scars where Locutus had attempted to use Seven's alcove to give him the means to Assimilate once again. Thankfully, unlike what was on the inside, those scars would eventually heal. "I... I do understand that I'm not alone. I'm afraid I've always found it very difficult to... unburden myself of the things that... hurt. Traumatic things I've been through. Counselor Troi used to work very hard to get through what I... and unfortunately just when I began to get comfortable in speaking with her she married my First Officer and they were being reassigned."

But Helen isn't here to speak about Counselor Troi or Commander Riker. No, she's here to speak about him. And Jean-Luc knows he shouldn't try to weasel his way out by speaking of others. "The Borg... they take away every freedom a person has. Freedom of thought. Freedom to act. Freedom to feel. But the Queen... she wanted me to be special. So she left my consciousness inside. It... it was similar to being trapped inside while watching someone use you to destroy. Locutus destroyed ships with hundreds of people on board. He was feared by many and able to give orders, the Queen's orders, to the Collective.

"The Queen underestimated me, I suppose. Because once I was back in the hands of my crew, that consciousness she wanted me to have to liason with the Federation fought it's way back out." And perhaps fought was a light term for the battle, the struggle of pushing past the Borg, the Queen and Locutus to get his own back, to be the one in control. "That doesn't mean that I have ever forgotten that it was my voice, my body, my mind that gave the orders that killed thousands of my own people."

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

lifelines
2013-11-17 06:07 pm UTC (link)

"I know, Jean-Luc. You and I are exactly the same when it comes to talking about anything personal," Helen murmurs softly, the fingers of both hands tightening around his as she allows him to hold her where he wants her to be. This isn't about her any longer; today, whatever happens between them, whatever he needs, is for his benefit more than hers. It's been difficult to admit to herself, let alone anyone else, but dear god, does she love him and that means she's doing something she very rarely does: she putting him first, before everything and everyone else, even before her own issues and fears. She listens carefully, filing away everything he says. For the moment, she says nothing, simply being an open ear for him, someone he can speak to without worrying about what she might think or feel. She is here for him, to help him, and if this strengthens the bond between them, so be it.

Only when she's certain he's finished for the moment, does she move to speak again. "I don't know what the Cabal did to Ashley when they took her. Likely I never will; John killed them all in a fit of revenge for her death. I do know she was given an injection of the Source Blood, as it awakened the Abnormality her father's DNA gave her." Teleportation, she means. "I searched for her for six weeks with no idea where she was or what had happened to her. Everyone I spoke with said she had died, that the girl I knew no longer existed, but I wouldn't accept that, not even when I saw her again. She had no free will. Nothing about her was the daughter I had known. Her mission was the destruction of the entire Sanctuary Network and she was responsible for the deaths of many of my staff across the world. The Network nearly crumbled and she nearly killed me before we could snap her back to herself. I had her back for less than a minute before she killed herself to save my life."

Helen bows her head for a moment, gathering herself at this tale. Her emotions are as painful as Jean-Luc's in this, both of their tales rubbing her raw, and she hopes she's doing at least something to help him. She's offering him insight into who she is, tales that she never speaks of after they've happened. Taking a deep breath, she lifts her gaze to meet his again, her eyes searching his to see how he's taking this.

"They gave me a choice, you know. Their leader offered me my daughter's life in exchange for the Sanctuary Network. I chose to sacrifice her life for the lives of every Abnormal in the world, because the Cabal would not have stopped with the destruction of the Sanctuaries." She doubts very much that Dana Whitcomb would have honored their agreement if Helen had agreed to her terms. "I have ended so many lives over the course of my own, often because I had no other choice. It was either end the lives of the few or sign the death sentence for the entire world. But I always had a choice. Those lives will be on my conscience as much as on yours. My daughter's life is one of those, as are the lives of your fellows. But in spite of all that... perhaps that's what makes us human. We care."

Even if she intentionally comes off as cold and distant, Helen needs social interaction. She's a lonely and bitter old woman, but can anyone blame her after what she's seen and done? It means a great deal that she's reaching out to Jean-Luc like this and she has a feeling it means an equal amount that he's doing the same to her. They aren't fleeing from such a personal discussion, from the horror of what had happened recently, and she is so glad for that. Despite her fears that she'll lose him, too, she wants this. Whatever it is between them, she desperately wants it.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

tea_earlgreyhot
2013-12-03 02:52 pm UTC (link)

"Oftentimes we are faced with impossible choices where either way we choose is a hardship." He remembers trying to sacrifice himself with Shinzon in order to save the Enterprise and her crew. The battle that had almost ended his life because he had found it so difficult to kill the other. And he remembers how that one moment in which he had faltered in killing what was another version of himself had given Data the opening to die in his place. It's something he hasn't yet discussed with Data here in the prison. He knows Data here is from before all of that happened.

He grows silent, simply holding onto her hand with one of his and his tea with the other. "We do care." He says the words almost idly, as if he were deep in thought and yet felt that they needed to be said.

Of course, he had never had children of his own. Living the life of Kamen had given him the memories and emotions of having them, but he also knew that it wasn't the same. That didn't mean that he couldn't empathize with what she had been through with Ashley. Indeed, he could. And the story felt all too familiar in ways that he couldn't ignore.

"Nothing is more wretched than the mind of a man conscious of guilt." He quotes. "It is... a quote that kept coming back to me in my counseling sessions with Counselor Troi. But perhaps the reminder that we are set apart from those who kill both mindlessly and indiscriminately, at least in the fact that we do care is something of a comfort to us both."

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

lifelines
2013-12-03 03:51 pm UTC (link)

Helen nods in response to his statement, almost idly as her mind wanders to Ashley, to the people of Carentan, good people who had died because their little bubble of time dilation meant they wouldn't exist when the town was brought back into temporal sync with the rest of the world. She thinks about Adam Worth, how he had changed because of circumstance, and how she had been ready to kill his daughter the second time so history would repeat as it should. Would she have been able to go through with that plan? She didn't quite know, but the intent had been there.

And suddenly, she feels more subdued, more withdrawn, even as she nods and gives his hand a squeeze. She didn't like it, but she could kill if she absolutely needed to, if there was no other was to restore the timeline or save the multitudes. She didn't do it easily, never could, but she has done it. And somehow that feels different, even though the guilt of it weighs on her.

"Perhaps so," she relents, her gaze finally lowering. "I have watched everyone I've ever loved and a great deal of others die in the course of my work. I wasn't ready to lose you." The guilt for that would have destroyed her. It was bad enough that she hadn't been able to do much to help him and certainly not alone, but she'd done what she could and that was the important part. He was back; she had him back.

(Reply to this) (Parent)

(Read comments) -