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Tweak says, "GOOD MORNING IJ!!"

MarinaNova NPCs (marinanova_npc) wrote in marinanova,
@ 2013-05-27 15:11:00

Entry tags:

:mingle, aidan reilly, aradia megido, artemis crock, bak chang, bro strider, buffy summers, calliope-caliborn, damon salvatore, daniel osbourne, data, dawn summers, dick grayson (all-star), dirk strider, duo maxwell, elena gilbert, eric northman, hei, helen magnus, helix wamtani, hikaru hitachiin, ianto jones, jack harkness, jean-luc picard, kitty pryde (aoa), kitty pryde (evolution), korra, lacus clyne, laura kinney, malcolm reynolds, martha jones, miranda lotto, nikola tesla, peggy carter, penelope garcia, peter parker (tas), piper halliwell, piter de vries, raven darkholme, rebekah mikealson, richie foley, rogue, rose tyler, sam merlotte, sam winchester, sawyer ford, seven of nine, shining armor, sookie stackhouse, sougo okita, spencer reid, spike, stefan salvatore, tear grants, tieria erde, tyki mikk, wally west, xander harris, yuuki kuran, yuuri shibuya, zatanna zatara, zero kiryuu

Day 221 — Morning mingle : Main shelter
[Wake up and smell the lack of coffee. You're on a bunk bed. Maybe you're a top and maybe you're a bottom. There are five other people in your room. Maybe they're friends or enemies or faces you barely recognize if at all. It doesn't matter much. You can leave this room and you don't need to come back to it.

You should get your rations though. You're probably hungry. You're definitely a little sluggish of body. What happened to that bruise you got sparing yesterday? What happened to your newly dyed hair? Mystery, mystery... Move along. Find the public bathrooms and do your business with a hundred of your closest friends.

Find the kiosk and get your rations. Careful not to let anyone steal them. You won't get more until tomorrow and the bots won't care. They aren't here to hold your hand. If you get sick or hurt and they deem it necessary they will take you to the hospital whether you wish it or not. But why dwell on such things? You're here now and you might as well enjoy it. You even get a free day today.]

(OOC: OOC info. This mingle takes place in the Main shelter over the morning hours.

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notamasochist
2013-05-28 03:58 am UTC (link)

[I might have taken advantage of Zero. His fears all deflate with those words because...what? Did she not understand that she was the intoxicated one? That she was the one with the impairment of judgment because she was drunk. The one who had taken advantage of that had been him.]

Do you regret what happened that night between us? Would you have rather it not happened?

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	trappedinresin 2013-05-28 04:37 am UTC (link)
	[For a few seconds she's quiet, contemplating his question. After a moment, she silently shakes her head.] I... I regret that I was maybe a little intoxicated. [A little?] The timing might not have been ideal, but I-- [ //// ] It's not as though I am unhappy that I was with Zero... [She's just embarrassed!] (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	notamasochist 2013-05-28 04:44 am UTC (link)
	The act of getting intoxicated creates impaired judgment.You can not properly consent to anything that happens to you in that condition. [Therefore...] You weren't the one taking advantage of anything. I just got carried away. I shouldn't have. I'm sorry if I upset you. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

trappedinresin
2013-05-28 11:46 pm UTC (link)

You didn't-

[Even if she was drunk, she's the one who came onto him. She barely asked for permission before sinking down into his throat and taking his blood for herself.]

You didn't do anything that I didn't pursue myself, so... it's fine.

[Right. Wrapping her arms around her waist, she tries to set aside the memory of what it felt like, bodies so close together--]

AHH~ L-Lets just not worry about it so much, okay, Zero? I... I'm just sorry that I put you in a tough position. Things are fine, now, so... it's best just not to worry about the past, right?

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notamasochist
2013-05-29 12:43 am UTC (link)

[He's quiet for a moment, still having difficulty with getting all his thoughts out into the open. The way she continues to word everything bothers him. Protective. Trying to brush it off. Downplaying the importance of what had happened. He chooses his words carefully as not to cause confusion.]

I get the impression that Yuuki would prefer to act as if what happened should just be moved on from and never spoken about again. A result of the events of the evening. Do I have that right?

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trappedinresin
2013-05-29 12:58 am UTC (link)

[There's really no happy answer to this, because she doesn't know what to say. In the end, she knows she would have to be blind not to realize that the things she says right now, could hurt or affect Zero.

The problem is, how does she feel about what happened? Does she regret it? Maybe a little. Her reasons why? It's not because it was Zero. The alcohol, maybe. There's guilt, too. But that isn't because it's Zero's fault either. Did it feel nice? Certainly. Does she want it to happen again...?

...

She bites her lip.]

I... I don't know how to respond.

[Glancing away, she decides to try and be as honest as possible. By this point that is what he deserves the most. No more lies or secrets. They've both agreed to that.]

It's not that I want to pretend it didn't happen. [Maybe a little bit, but her reasons will be explained.] It... It's just that I don't know how to respond to it yet. Everything is really new, so it- it's a little confusing for me.

[Drawing a breath, she struggles putting her thoughts into words, cheeks flushing darkly]

Everything felt- it felt good. So it was easy to get lost into that feeling. But at the same time I feel guilty for having felt that.

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notamasochist
2013-05-29 01:44 am UTC (link)

[There is a small smile that crosses his face at her words, his hand reaches forward to ruffle the top of her head just slightly before trailing down to cup her cheek.

He can't say everything is what he wants to hear, but that's not what wanted from her. He wanted the truth and for the first time he feels like he's finally getting it.

He's proud of her--feeling as if maybe this could be a breakthrough for them. A start.]

Your honesty is all I've asked for. I know it's not easy after all this time. So...thank you.

I don't expect to like everything you say, but I do know your feelings and I'm not going anywhere.

[He has wasted too much time on protecting his own feelings and pushing others away.]

No matter how long it takes...as long as I'm able. I'm not going to give you up. Not again.

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	trappedinresin 2013-05-29 02:45 am UTC (link)
	. . . I still can barely understand Zero's tastes. [After everything that has happened between them, and everything he knows, he still chooses to pursue her. How that is, she doesn't know. To be honest, no one has ever actively tried such a thing, so it's entirely new.] You're really weird. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	1/2 notamasochist 2013-05-29 03:00 am UTC (link)
	[He says all that stuff...and this is her response?] You're insulting yourself, you know. (Reply to this) (Parent)

	notamasochist 2013-05-29 03:01 am UTC (link)
	[What is there to be so confused about? Five years and his tastes haven't changed at all, isn't that the point? What doesn't she understand?] Is it that hard to figure out? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	trappedinresin 2013-05-29 03:05 am UTC (link)
	It's fine, as long as it's myself. [No one knows her worst faults as well as she does, after all.] I just mean that it's still hard to believe that Zero could ever be interested in... in something with me. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	notamasochist 2013-05-29 03:14 am UTC (link)
	[He probably has a better grasp on them, actually. And wouldn't be as harsh on you as you are on yourself.] You say that like it's something new. [Maybe it is to her, but that's not reality.] I was twelve. [And he's been fighting with himself ever since.] (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	trappedinresin 2013-05-29 03:18 am UTC (link)
	[N-No no no no he can't really mean that, right? He's got to be confused, because twelve??] I thought that Zero got more frustrated with me than anything at that age... (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	notamasochist 2013-05-29 03:36 am UTC (link)
	[Dead serious.] I was a lot of things at that age. Frustration was a minor one. The fear often overwhelmed me. No matter how much I tried to push Yuuki away--she wouldn't go. Something I was grateful for yet made me hate myself. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	trappedinresin 2013-05-29 03:41 am UTC (link)
	[She pauses- the flustered reply from before dying down. Her head tilts to the side and she stares up at him.] 'Hate' yourself... [She knows he hated what he was. But to hate himself because of their own relationship?] Why 'hate'...? Why did you feel that you had to feel that way if we were close? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

notamasochist
2013-05-29 04:12 am UTC (link)

[And she literally targets and zones in on the more difficult aspect of this entire issue. This is where he stumbles a little with his determination. Faltering. But he knows they've discussed this before. He diverts his gaze and clenches his fists, unable to say it without still feeling the emotions well up inside him.]

It was about a month in. I shattered that mirror and you started bleeding.

I knew then that if I didn't stay away from you...

I fought with myself over and over but never was able to do it. I knew what would happen but...selfishly I clung to you.

[There is so much more to it all than that, he knows. It started elsewhere but just got worse and worse over the years with Yuuki by his side until finally everything just exploded.]

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trappedinresin
2013-05-29 11:27 am UTC (link)

[She glances down. It's sad that during all the time he lived in genuine fear that he might hurt her.]

I wish I had known.

[Such a long time to carry those sorts of feelings.]

It was shortly after that, when you got that tattoo, wasn't it.

[Her long hair sways from side to side as she shakes her head.]

All that time I had taken comfort in Zero's presence. [Actually, it wasn't until after his arrival that some of her own nightmares and fears had begun to fade.]

Somehow it feels unfair that I had been so at ease with you and you felt so undeserving around me. [Her of all people. Hah- One hand reaching out, she smooths it over his clenched fist.] You never gave yourself enough credit. I was always happy around you.

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notamasochist
2013-05-29 02:21 pm UTC (link)

You understand don't you?

[Gaze lifting to meet hers, Zero loosens the fist as she touches him. Grasping her hand lightly instead, he tries to drive the point home and reach her.]

For all our differences, between everything we've been through and experienced--we are both the exact same. It took me a long time to understand that because I was so blinded by my own feelings.

[Hand squeezing hers gently, he pauses searching her eyes for any signs of understanding.]

The only thing I've ever wanted is your happiness. I just couldn't understand how to give it to you because it went against my own thought process. Those feelings of needing to reject that affection and happiness you provided me, the guilt I felt for having to live off of you--there was no way for me to see that connection between us.

You are my happiness. All this time I ignored how refusing this could make you feel--focusing everything else on you because I was already receiving so much more than I felt I deserved.

[He inhales deeply before pushing forward with the last point.]

Pursuing you now has nothing to do with suddenly feeling deserving. I've messed up so much and hurt you over and over again all because I've been running from it all. I just don't want to hurt you anymore.

We are the same, Yuuki. All I want is for you to be happy--I know you are the same.

My happiness is you.

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trappedinresin
2013-05-29 04:23 pm UTC (link)

[There's so much to take in. 'The same' he says. Even though they're so different, it's true. She can't deny that the lives they have led and the things that they have experienced make both able to understand the other probably more than anyone else.

The fingers within his shift, and she moves. Gently, her arms wind, tight, around his body. She knows. She does. Face buried against his chest, she nods gently against him. They are the same, in so many ways.

It just... somehow aches, too.

Her grip tightens on him. He has to know, right?]

Even though so many things have happened. And we've both hurt each other and ourselves, you have to know it too, now, of course.

[No matter the relationship, though it's certainly more than just friends. It's always been something a little different from that.]

I've always been happy beside you.

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notamasochist
2013-05-29 04:51 pm UTC (link)

[A lump forms in his throat as her arms wrap around him. He's not sure how much she understands from his words, but he can tell she gets at least the basics of it. His own arms return the embrace, holding her gently as her head buries into his chest.]

I know. It's taken me a long time, but I know.

[Eyes closing, he rests his cheek against the top of her head as he speaks.]

I understand your confusion. Your hesitation. I know how much you've struggled against these feelings.

But I won't trust anyone else with your smile anymore. I made that mistake before and it almost completely snuffed out your light.

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trappedinresin
2013-05-29 05:58 pm UTC (link)

[Eyes closing, she remains still within his embrace. Until recently it had been so long since she'd been able to take genuine comfort in his presence. Yet it's so easy to slip into. Here like this, putting aside the differences between who and what they are, she can feel at ease. For a moment, she simply allows the warmth of his arms to surround her and breathes him in.

No matter where they are, from now on things will be different between them.]

I wont be a cause of worry for you anymore, okay? From now on lets just focus on the present.

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	notamasochist 2013-05-29 06:28 pm UTC (link)
	[He's just grateful she hasn't pulled away from him yet. She's not running away for the moment and is beginning to face the reality of everything.] You aren't a burden, Yuuki. You never have been. [Arms giving her a slight squeeze of support, he relishes in the warmth of her body against him.] I wouldn't be myself if I wasn't worried about you. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

trappedinresin
2013-05-30 11:36 am UTC (link)

[A nod... and pause, as she goes over those words. He's always worried about and protected her. But-

Pulling back she looks up at him seriously, catching his gaze. Allow her this, all right, Zero?]

In return, you have to allow me to worry over and protect you too. [Not just sit on the sidelines if he might be in danger, or be sent home if more power is needed.]

Zero- [Grip tightens as she pleads] You have to let me help and to watch over you as well.

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notamasochist
2013-05-30 12:04 pm UTC (link)

[To be honest, that sort of sets him back on his heels a little because...]

Isn't that the one thing we don't have to worry about?

[For as messed up as their relationship has been during the years that is one thing that never really failed them. Because of this very thing, they were probably able to be here now.]

Even when we were enemies, we stupidly did things to protect and help each other. Even when we didn't need to.

Our relationship might never have recovered in the way that it has if it wasn't for that one thing. For everything we've done wrong, I know that's something we've always done right.

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	trappedinresin 2013-05-31 06:54 pm UTC (link)
	[Quiet, staring up at him. After a moment she nods, and her grip loosens. That's right. Really... that's how it's always been between them. Even if, at times, she hasn't always done what is right by way of it.] Of course... [A second nod. She seems satisfied, somehow, by having it all reaffirmed.] Good. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)