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Tweak says, "Owah tagoo syam..."

Zero Kiryuu (notamasochist) wrote in marinanova,
@ 2013-05-01 01:05:00

Entry tags:

yuuki kuran, zero kiryuu

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[Zero is only here to support his roommates, not play. Because of that, he's sitting in the grass a distance away from even the crowd, observing everyone. Both his roommates are the captains of each respective team, so choosing a team to cheer for was impossible for him as he couldn't choose favorites between Hikaru and Yuuri. He's here in spirit but not really mind, a million thoughts running through his head as he watches everyone go through the motions of the familiar game. He tries to avoid it, but his attention is continually drawn to a specific player on the field, irritation rising within him as he watches her. Yet still he sits, quiet and observant.]

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notamasochist
2013-05-01 05:26 pm UTC (link)

[It's startling and a little frightening how quickly he finds himself completely lost in her blood. Overwhelmed with the emotions infusing him with every drop of the coppery fluid, he has difficulty dividing the feelings to determine which were his own and which belonged to the girl beneath him.

'If you were not a hunter, nor I a vampire...'

'It's a tattoo...'
'Whhhhh~y? Zero is becoming a delinquent!'

'I won't run away anymore...'

'I only desired your blood Yuuki...'

'Sorry Zero, I won't make blunders anymore.'

The emptiness he's felt slowly begins to fill the areas that previously were a void. Understanding. Pain. Heartache. Loss. Not all of it good, with the return of everything--so do the scars return. The parts of her etched on his heart and within his soul. The things he tried to cut out and remove himself, unsuccessfully.

Everything has to literally be pulled from her blood,five years of memories and feelings between the two of them. It isn't an easy task and the amount of blood he's taken in terrifies him because there just doesn't seem to be an end.

She'd stop struggling against him long ago,so he slid his hand down around the bracelet. Fingers curling around the delicate metal chain. She'd never removed it since the moment she received it, as far as he'd known.

'Use it. Force me to submit. The taming spell still works.'
'I won't need to. That's only for Level E.'

'Actually Zero-kun doesn't detest all vampires, does he? You would have killed Yuuki by now because she betrayed you...'
'Betray what...never once did I think of it that way.'

With a sharp tug, the metal gives way breaking the chain.

The image of his last memory before the last of his memories were taken tattooed in his head, Zero finally pulls away with extremely conflicting emotions tearing him apart.]

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trappedinresin
2013-05-01 07:39 pm UTC (link)

[At some point her eyes slipped shut. She could hear the sound of her blood being drawn from her, the way his mouth moved against her throat but she couldn't do anything to stop it. Every drop taken was a memory returned, she knew.

When he finally pulls back she barely notices, slipping in an out of consciousnesses. Her eyes flutter, though, when she feels something snap against her wrist. On her wrist...?

What did he...

But it's like wading through water, trying to put coherent thoughts together. Her eyes catch only a glimpse of him, before the heavy feeling in her lids weight them down again. A quiet, lonely tear rolls down the side of a cheek.

I'm sorry, Zero. Truly. She's never meant to hurt him like this, or have things spiral out of control. She's just no good at watching over the people she cares about. It's one of her last thoughts before sleep claims her. I wanted to protect everyone, but instead I messed up again.

A sad thought. She never learns from her mistakes.

I don't know what to do anymore...]

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notamasochist
2013-05-02 03:19 am UTC (link)

[Tongue sliding out to clean up the escaped blood on his lower lip, Zero slowly slides his hands off Yuuki's arms. Fingers clench at the metal charm held tightly within his hand as he shamefully climbs off of her. He hadn't wanted to have to take everything by force in this manner, but he didn't regret getting the memories back.

Zero gives an emotional sigh, his own heart aching deeply as he watches her pulse beat in her neck. Even after all that he'd taken from her in those moments, it was almost sickening to think about the fact that even after all that, drinking to the point of her passing out from the blood loss was not enough deterrent to quench the desire for her--even for the slightest length of time.

It isn't hunger. That's the one thing he realizes, it's more than that. It's comfort, longing and the need to be surrounded by what he'd been missing. For probably the first time in his life...it isn't hunger. It's the simple act of wanting to be surrounded by her. All of her.

His left hand reaches over to brush the hair out of her face. Emotions all muddled up, he closes his eyes as he leans over her until they were forehead to forehead. For several seconds he just remains like that, content to just let the gentle exhalation of her breath glide over him.

He hadn't known. How could he have known?

Clenching the bracelet in his right hand, a reminder to himself of everything he'd almost lost out of sheer stubbornness.]

Who we are. Everything we've been through.

I don't regret it.

I wouldn't change any of it.

Yuuki isn't someone I would ever wish to forget. If we were both human, things would have been different. Everything might have been different.

A world without Yuuki in my life--is something I would never wish for. I tried to protect myself from everything and ended up hurting you...

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trappedinresin
2013-05-02 11:57 pm UTC (link)

[It's as his fingers gently brush the hair from her face that she stirs, just briefly. The warmth of his forehead rests against her. In the moment there isn't much she can do. Not yet. But she can listen.

And she does.

Ah- the heavy ache within her chest stirs emotions. Those words, so soft and tender, reach her heart. Words she's never thought she would hear. How can he possibly say such pretty things? If it wasn't for her family then his own would still be alive. If so many people weren't always trying to protect her, then Zero would have been left alone.

Even after all of that? Even after trying to spare him further misery and removing herself from his life. How...? She can barely believe the things she's hearing.

It's difficult to move, the feeling similar to being neck deep in quicksand. Somehow though, she manages to lift a hand. Fingers gently brush against the warmth of one of his cheeks.

This kind, beautiful, strong person. She loves him. Painfully so. These past few weeks have been some of the most lonely in her life.

Being hated... is almost easier than being forgotten.]

Zero...

[Her hand slips back down, eyes closing. She doesn't have the energy to speak, but she hopes, even just a little bit, her feelings can reach him. Past whatever he's seen in her blood. There's so much to say, yet words are inadequate. No apology is large enough, and there's no way to really say just how important and precious he is to her. The impact he's had on her life isn't small. Not at all.

His existence is great. And even after all of this time he's still so very loved and cherished in her heart.]

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notamasochist
2013-05-03 11:49 am UTC (link)

[He isn't sure if she has heard him or not, until the moment the touch of fingers brush his face. His eyes open and he pulls away just the tiniest bit to look into her face. Her eyes are still closed as his name falls from her lips, her hand only lingers a moment before it falls again to her side. The effort she is making is obviously herculean, though futile when she's so weak. He leans back down and brushes the slightest kiss across her brow.]

Don't push yourself. Just rest. We'll talk later.

[Sitting back, Zero opens the hand that holds the taming bracelet within it. Of everything, this is the part that hurts the most. He understood her reasoning, but the betrayal still hurts. With a long sigh, Zero places the bracelet in his pocket knowing he'd betrayed her as well in the past. Neither of them were blameless in this relationship.

Hands sliding beneath her body, he moved to stand up with her cradled in his arms. Her heartbeat steady in his ears as he holds her against him, Zero heads back to his apartment.

Their apartment.

The place they'd move into together with Yuuri and Hikaru when they'd been switched to this dome. Just like they'd lived together back in the old facility. The same apartment she'd high tailed it out of the moment he'd landed back in the facility.

He remembered everything.

Entering the apartment, Zero carries her down to the spare bedroom in their apartment. Her bedroom. Gently he places her on the bed and covers her up with one of the blankets.

He leaves only long enough to retrieve a book from his own room before returning to take a seat on the floor against the wall. And like he had countless times before over the years--he waited by her side until she needed him.]

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trappedinresin
2013-05-04 03:06 am UTC (link)

[Time passes. When her eyes finally open again, it takes a moment for them to adjust, blurry and so heavy. Her mind doesn't quite catch up with the situation just yet. Staring at the ceiling above her, she's still dazed.

Her room.

Although she can't remember going to bed or the overwhelming drowsiness that prompts her to return back to sleep. Both her arms feel like led, weighted at her side.

Why am I so weak?

Thirsty, too. Painfully so.

Drawing a short breath, she turns her head to the side. And that's when she notices him. Zero. And that's when she notices for the first time that this isn't her room. Not her current one, anyway. It's her old one. Everything catches up with her all at once.

That's right. He knows exactly who she is. And after ingesting so much of her blood he's seen much more than just his own memories.

Hands lifting, she covers her face.

Ah-]

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notamasochist
2013-05-05 12:54 am UTC (link)

[Every little move or sound leaves him glancing in her direction to check her status. Zero starts rereading the same exact page probably fifteen times before giving up and placing the book on the side table he leaned against.

He doesn't know how long he'll have to wait for her to wake, but he has no plans on leaving her side until after she wakes and they talk.

She'd removed his memories because she'd planned on ending her life. Sacrificing her very life for the sake of someone she cared about. He'd put her in this situation before himself, but this time it was Kaname Kuran's doing.

She didn't want to lose anyone else. It was a sentiment he understood all too well, but to go as far as sacrificing her life is something he'd never want for her. Yuuki's blood was full of misery and heartbreak, not all of which was in relation to Kaname Kuran.

Zero himself held a large portion of that pain in her heart, something he hadn't realized the impact of until today.

Her shifting in the bed draws his attention, a hand lifting over her face an obvious indication that Yuuki was now awake. Getting to his knees he reaches over and grasps the hand that is covering her face. Reality can't be hidden away.]

Feeling better?

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trappedinresin
2013-05-05 01:31 am UTC (link)

[Her tongue flicks out to lick her lips. That's a complicated and loaded question. To an extent, an immense weight feels lifted off her shoulders. There's no more lies. She doesn't have to hide or hurt anymore by trying to keep such an unfair and terrible secret.

But the guilt is there. Oh it's there, strong and fresh and powerful. Although putting all of that aside, how she physically feels is another story all together. The thrum of his pulse through his hand is felt while he still holds her own. Her eyes are a dark, crimson shade, flecked much redder than their usual sorrel color.

'Feeling better...?'

She stares quietly, guiltily, across the room, and gives a small nod of her head. At least she's regained consciousness. She can't imagine she's been out for too long. In the end she really doesn't know what to say. Even though she has so many things she has to.]

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notamasochist
2013-05-05 03:02 am UTC (link)

[She's trying to avoid him, that much is obvious by the way she's not responding to his question or refusal to give him eye contact of any kind. He's not going anywhere though until she begins to talk. She'll understand that soon enough.]

Are you angry that I took them back?

[He knows she's not, otherwise she'd be pulling her hand away from his grasp and she hasn't done that. But getting her to come back her realm of guilt and self-loathing has to start someplace. He knows getting her to even talk--really talk about everything will take time. She isn't the only one that has something that needs to be said though. But they need to start someplace.]

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trappedinresin
2013-05-05 04:22 am UTC (link)

No.

[A soft, breathless word as she shakes her head. She isn't angry. Of course she's not. What right has she to such an emotion in regards to his memories? Although it's something that she stole, it's never been something she wanted to do. The whole time it just hurt.

The fact that he's taken them back... she can't be mad at him for reclaiming something that is rightfully his. Closing her eyes she draws another breath for the energy to speak, and gather her thoughts and emotions.]

Of course not.

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notamasochist
2013-05-05 03:36 pm UTC (link)

[Retreiving something by force, she wouldn't mind since it had originally been taken from him in the same way. They were his Her voice is tired and strained, as is her body. He'd very well drained her of most of her blood in the efforts to get his memories back. She needed some blood source to replenish her system.

He also knew now, because of everything he'd felt and seen while getting those memories back--what would help her the most was already in the room.

Not tablets.
Not bagged blood.
Not the blood of anyone else in the facility.
Or even anyone back home.

But somehow he had the feeling that getting her to drink his blood wouldn't be as simple as just offering it. Considering what she'd done the last time she'd taken it.]

You're thirsty.

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	trappedinresin 2013-05-05 03:51 pm UTC (link)
	[Her hand twitches in his. Lying to him is useless, of course he can sense it, even if he didn't know how much blood he had taken from her. Until she recovers more, she can't just up and walk home. It takes time, and more importantly-] I... I have tablets within my bag. [If he's brought it along with her. She's not so sure. It may have been left at the game.] (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	notamasochist 2013-05-05 04:04 pm UTC (link)
	Your bag is not here. [Not that he doesn't have a huge stash of them himself around here.] We can pick it up later when we go retreive the rest of your belongings and bring them home. Just take what you need. It's fine. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

trappedinresin
2013-05-05 04:24 pm UTC (link)

[No no-- he can't just offer something like that up so freely. Not after everything. Bring her things home? Drink his blood?

She shifts, placing a hand beneath her to weakly hoist herself up into a sitting position. Leaning on her arm for support, she ignores the way everything spins or the way she shakes, thirsty and starved with need.]

Your tablets... I-I can just take those. If I just have those for the moment...

[She'll be fine. At least enough to go retrieve some more and swallow as many as she can stomach. I can't take his blood. I-I can't...

Even though every molecule that makes up her body, every fiber of her being wants nothing more than to sink her fangs into his delicate skin and drink her fill. It's painful just how badly she wants to.

Don't tempt me, Zero...]

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notamasochist
2013-05-05 04:56 pm UTC (link)

[But he wants to tempt you. That's the issue. The idea that his blood is the one she wants, it's intriguing to say the least. Always it had been him desiring her, him forcing himself to resist because it was his burden--not hers.

But all along.]

No. No more tablets.

[For either of them. They weren't doing this anymore.]

Take what you need. What you want...

It's the quickest way to recover. I know you--you won't attempt to take them again. You know I'd stop it if I even suspected and you don't have the means to prevent me.

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trappedinresin
2013-05-05 07:02 pm UTC (link)

[Each breath strained, her gaze lifts, at last to find his; a violet pool, bright and clear, housing complicated emotions. There isn't any reservation in his gaze, though, meeting her own dead on. It's a look that invites, so tempting to a vampire already starved.

Who's been starved all this time.

The flush in her cheeks is clear. Lips parting, it's a losing battle, the will to taste him, and touch, too overwhelmingly strong when she can feel and hear the rush of his blood in his veins. It grows louder, senses honing in on them. Her fingers tighten in his own, and using his hand as a support, before she can think much, she scoots nearer.

Lips brush past his ear, a soft, panted breath, before her tongue glides along his throat, tasting the fine salt of his skin, anticipation pulling a shudder down her spine. Her opposite hand winds around his neck, leaning into him.]

Zero....

[A whispered murmur of his name against his skin. Mouth parting, she doesn't hesitate further. Not anymore, from taking what she desires more than anything else, what she 'wants' and 'needs' as he says. Fangs sink deep into neck, clamping upon his throat, before the first drops of blood sprinkle her tongue.

And she gives in completely.

Arms winding tight around him, she forces him down to the floor with the weight and momentum of her body, falling with him.

Ah- Delicious and intoxicating, something she desires even more than breath. The light thump as they hit the ground doesn't deter her at all. She doesn't miss a beat. Straddling his hips between her legs, she doesn't separate as a moan of pleasure emanates deep within her throat. It's his blood- so intoxicating, and overwhelming. All this time she's yearned for it.

His feelings flood her with a wave of emotion, nothing hidden for once in their lives. It's bare, and raw, and so very real. And every drop that he has to offer, every emotion that fills her as she drinks, leaves her only wanting more. It's easy to lose herself in the ocean of love- the love he feels, still so amazingly, for her. It can't be wrong to want to know and feel that.

And she loves him. She loves him too, and for once, they both know that.]

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notamasochist
2013-05-06 05:57 am UTC (link)

[Her fingers grasp his, surprisingly pulling herself closer to him. Zero doesn't take his eye off her crimson tinged gaze until the moment he's unable to see them anymore. Yuuki gives little resistance to the desires that obviously weigh her down, heated breath on his neck just moments later.

Zero's chin lifts, allowing the tiny pureblood greater access to the vein that waited for her attention. Lids of his eyes close in pleasure the moment her tongue reaches out to taste his skin, there isn't much he can do but wait in anticipation for what is coming next.

It isn't what he's expecting, instead of the pleasure of her fangs pressing into his neck, it's his name that dances across his skin. The sensation of her arm pulling her closer to him as she calls out for him in the quietest of voices sends an eruption of butterflies to life within his stomach.

When the fangs finally do touch his skin, he thinks he's more than ready, but he's not. There's no way he could prepare for what happens next. It doesn't hurt much, the feeling of his flesh being pierced something more of a light sting that quickly fades, instead the sensation is one of feeling complete for the first time.

A moan echoes in his head, stirring his own emotions to life. Her arms are wrapping around him, while Zero is feeling restless as he reaches for her to hold her close. Suddenly they are falling back against the floor and he doesn't care in the least. If she wants to take him in the middle of the floor, he wouldn't stop her. Hands sliding tightly across her hips, he tugged her closer to him as she straddled him. Heart beating wildly in response to her actions, Zero groans as their bodies collide.

Gripping the back of her shirt to tightly hold her against him, Zero's other hand slid gently up her back to bury itself into her hair--holding her against himself as she pulled his very life from the vein she'd chosen. He wanted to give her it all without a second thought. Take it all from him. Everything...it all belonged to her.]

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trappedinresin
2013-05-08 03:52 am UTC (link)

[She can't be sure how much time has passed. It's so dangerously easy to loose oneself in the blood. It wraps around her, immersing her into the very farthest recesses of his being. Pleasure is at the forefront of her mind as his hands curl upon her body, tightening upon her hips, crawling up her back before winding into her hair.

It's only with great reluctance that she finally pulls back. Head resting against his shoulder, she stays that way for just a moment, enough to catch her breath. His own blood still decorates her lips. Fingers curl into his shoulders, and after a moment more, she pushes up to stare down at him. Tongue flicking out to clean her lips, she wipes her mouth with one of her free hands.

What a daze. All of his blood sits pleasantly within her, and she feels strong, and for once, after all of this time, no longer thirsty. Lips swollen, she stares into his eyes.]

I don't understand.

[Shaking her head, brows draw down, as her opposite hand gently moves to cup one of his cheeks. Leaning down she meets his gaze dead on. This stubborn, frustrating, and precious person.]

After everything, how is it that Zero's heart can be so big.

[That he can still love her after all this time.]

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notamasochist
2013-05-08 04:23 am UTC (link)

[When she finally pulls away, Zero surprisingly feels the loss. He doesn't feel self-conscious or nervous about any of this--until fingers warm his cheek and he is under her perusal. He thought he was ready to face it, but under her steady gaze, his falters.

He isn't comfortable speaking of his own heart. Not yet at least. It was still sore. Damaged. Full of anguish and pain. This isn't something new, but some of the wounds were fresh and with her eyes determined to find some answer, Zero found it difficult to face her.

Gaze shifting away, he just shrugs. How is he supposed to answer that? He can't.]

It's not as if I'm not angry over what you did...I am. Yuuki--wouldn't be Yuuki if she hadn't decided to do that.

[He frowns, still unable to meet her eyes as his own eyebrows furrow in frustration as he tries to put things into words.]

Why I had to be removed too, I still don't understand completely--but the rest of it. Honestly, I'm a little angry at myself for not seeing it coming. I should have seen it all.

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trappedinresin
2013-05-08 04:32 am UTC (link)

[Her short hair sways form side to side as she shakes her head. That isn't right. There's no way he could have seen what was coming, or her plans.]

That isn't Zero's fault.

[It's hers, and he shouldn't feel guilt or frustration with himself at her own actions. This time it's her gaze that shifts to the side.]

I know you're angry... and hurt. [She realizes that. She does. Closing her she covers her face with her opposite hand.]

But I-- at the time it's the only future I could see.

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notamasochist
2013-05-08 03:24 pm UTC (link)

[The only future she could see... Complete agony rips through him at the very thought. Hands reach for her frantically, grasping her shirt, her waist, whatever he could grasp to tug her down against him. Arms enveloping her warmth, Zero buries a hand within her hair and presses her head against his chest.]

That's not a future. It's a death sentence.

[One in which he knew he'd have to face again back home, without the assistance of time and exposure that Marina had forced. He could lose her--completely lose her--without even knowing what he'd been missing. To go through life with this emptiness he'd felt for the last few days since returning to Marina.

Honestly, he's not even sure where to start with this whole thing. What she'd done to him or what she'd planned on doing to Kaname Kuran. There was so much to say on both issues and they were so mixed up in her head...]

Do you honestly think we won't be able to stop him? That your life is so disposable? That you need to take on this burden all yourself?

[But he knows all these answers. Her blood may not provide all the answers but it gave him the blueprint. The girl in his arms was overwhelmed with so many emotions, lost in despair. Like the light had been completely snuffed out.

Tightening his hold, he presses her against his chest even more, chin resting on top of her head.

What had happened to her?]

It's like you just gave up...

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trappedinresin
2013-05-08 04:25 pm UTC (link)

N-No, I--

[That's not right. It wasn't giving up. She had to do it- what other way was there? Held fast within his arms, she shakes her head against him, swallowing thickly. For once she has to be honest and tell him the truth. But the confession is so very painful.

Closing her eyes, hot tears begin to roll down her cheeks.]

Everything is my fault.

[The death of her parents. The death of his. The death of his brother. The reason he was changed into being a vampire. All of it. When the sobs begin to wrack her body, she openly cries, clinging to him tight.]

The reason Zero's life was destroyed is because my life had been valued as greater.

[As though she, the pitiful, selfish, disgusting person that she is, was somehow greater than the lives of all those people. In what world is that fair?]

Aidou-dono as well. And the other pureblood families.

[Her throat tightens, choking as she tries, unsuccessfully to swallow another sob.]

He warned me. He told me he wondered if I would be strong enough to stop that person from turning to an unhappy future. That if he did something wrong, that I should correct him.

[Nails pierce through that fabric of his shirt to dig into her own palm. Her entire body trembles from head to toe.]

But I wasn't. No matter what I did or how hard I tried, I couldn't make him happy. My feelings couldn't reach him, and in the end he left.

[But it's so much worse. Pulling back she stares down at him with a waterfall of tears in her eyes.]

He murdered Aidou-dono, and so many of the others. But in the end that was for my sake too, wasn't it? I never wanted that! I never asked for any of these things to happen!

[Furiously scrubbing at her eyes, the tears continue to flow, no end in sight as she draws a shaky breath. Everything unloads, the horror, the frustration and the devastating, overwhelming sorrow. She can't hold any of it back any longer.]

I've never felt so alone in my life.

[It hurts. It hurts. It hurts. It's worse than the attack by Touma, or anything else someone could do to her. How can that person expect her to live on into eternity alone and ever be happy after losing all of the people most important to her in such a way?]

Then suddenly you were there again. And I knew. I knew and understood your feelings, after the masquerade. And it broke my heart. How could I drag you back down, when it was already because of me that you had lost everything?

[Could't he understand? Burying her face into her hands, truth continues to flow in thick, wet drops.]

I don't want that person to die. And I don't want you to be hurt because of me any longer. [In the end, is it too much to ask?] All I've ever wanted is for everyone to be happy, and to find my own happiness too.

[But nothing is okay anymore.]

I can't put my life ahead of anyone else's, not anymore, if it means I can save even just one more life.

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notamasochist
2013-05-08 05:28 pm UTC (link)

[Her words come in scattered admissions, but none of them connect in his head. He doesn't follow her thought process at all-other than the whole thread of self-blame which he'd tasted within her blood. For him, for Kuran...for everything.

Taking her hands, he gently draws them away from her face as the tears stream down her cheeks without sign of stopping. Sitting up, he reaches out to comfort her again, hands framing her face as he takes a moment to process all her words.]

Yuuki isn't the type who would put her life first. You never have been, so where is this 'anymore' coming from?

[Thumb stroking beneath one of her eyes, he wipes some of the moisture away for it to be immediately damp with tears again. This self-blame of hers...he couldn't understand it.]

You aren't the one causing these problems. The very fact that you don't want these things and are trying to stop them--means you have no guilt in any of this. If someone does something 'for' your sake that you don't wish, but they go against your wishes and do it anyway--that doesn't make it your fault. At that point, they aren't doing it for you...they are doing it for themselves. You're just the excuse they use to take the blame off themselves.

[He'd purposely stayed away from the questioning phase of everything back then because he hadn't wanted to expose himself to her world with Kuran. As far as he knew, Kuran just decided one day to abandon her for this mission. He'd never heard anything else until now. He hesitates now, still wary about exposing himself to this path of conversation but finally asks the question.]

You say you couldn't make him happy so he left you--why?

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trappedinresin
2013-05-09 01:25 am UTC (link)

[Her eyes search his, leaning into the brush of his thumb. Those are words he believes. But how? After everything, it was still done for her sake. A hand lifts to curl over one of his and she swallows thickly. Her eyes drift shut as she shakes her head.]

If I knew that, maybe things would be different.

[She literally did all that she could. Licking her lips, she stares at the ground]

I tried to live up to his expectations. Always he's lived in a pit of despair, and has been so very lonely. [Inhaling, she chooses her words carefully. She doesn't want to hurt Zero, talking about Kaname. But she wants to be honest.]

Several times he tried to show me how hopeless it was to try so hard, but I could never understand how he could be so forlorn. Why, even though we were together, he was still unreachable. [A tear rolls down her cheek] Even so, he told me we could be together, even with me, as an imperfect fiancee.

But he still left.

[Why...? When did he give up on wanting to be with her? What had she done wrong? In the end, even though she had been so tempted and close, she had even refrained from drinking Zero's own blood. Even when she desperately had wanted that one thing.]

No one... can be a replacement for another.

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notamasochist
2013-05-09 02:09 am UTC (link)

[That...doesn't help at all. He frowns. ]

He's depressed.
You weren't perfect so it means you're a bad fiancee.
Someone was trying to replace someone else.

So he left you and went on a murderous pureblood killing spree. Makes total sense.

[Oh yes, there is sarcasm there. Dripping. There's obviously a lot of information missing.]

Stop censoring yourself. You had no problem spilling your heart out about him to me in the past. If I wasn't willing to listen or hear it, I wouldn't ask.