#cultureic

WHO: Effie and Jonah Yaxley
WHAT: Grown adults playing hide and seek
WHERE: Yaxley family home, Bristol
WHEN: 23rd January
WARNINGS: Drinking Yaxleys

( Don't cry when I out-hide you )

Posted after midnight.

@thedailyprophet: BREAKING NEWS: Reports are coming in of multiple dementor sightings and a rumoured inferi sighting in Tinworth.
@thedailyprophet: A sinkhole has opened up on Main Street in Tinworth. Nearby residents are encouraged to evacuate as sinkhole appears to be growing.
@thedailyprophet: As always, more information can be found on our website at dp.wiz/h311m0uth
@thedailyprophet: It's raining what appears to be blood in Tinworth.

TO: Yaxleys (incls Evan)

[1] heyyyyyyyy Josie
[2] come over right now

TO: Winks 🐻

Are you busy next weekend?

WHO: Effie Yaxley & Jonah Yaxley
WHEN: November 28, late morning
WHERE: St Mungo's
SUMMARY: Effie visits Jonah's new hangout spot.
WARNINGS: Day drinking

( I am a nature nerd. )

( OFF WITH THEIR HEADS PART 2 )

WHO: Effie Yaxley & Elsie Flint
WHEN: November 23, late evening
WHERE: St Mungo's
SUMMARY: Elsie wakes up.
WARNINGS: Conversations about violence

( “Is it still Wednesday?” )

( Gift for Emma Squiggle )

TO: Winks 🐻

[1] What are your thoughts on trading brothers?
[2] Jonah lost three fingers today!

(later)
TO: JJ

How high are you right now?

TO: Yaxleys + Evan

[1] it is I
[2] crispy Jonah!
[3] willing to pay someone to get me a takeaway
[4] also there's an Italian family reunion tonight we're all at

TO: Annie

[1] Hey!
[2] I want to watch the new Rocky Horror did you see it yet
[3] Sorry about the halloween movie hexts
[4] I miss you
[5] I'm going to go sleep probably
[6] I just wanted to say hi :)

TO: Mr. Healer Antonin Dolohov, H.P., Boss

[1] HI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!i, Mr Hr Dolohov sir!
[2] I need your help please!

TO: Effie!, Belinda!, Evan! [GROUP]

[1] omggmgmgggmgmjdsnangljlnnjnjknkjjknknj
[2] OMG OMgmgmgogsmOGM
[3] [audio message of Josie explaining that she's with Jonah, describing his injuries in between sobbing and wailing about how he's "NEAR DEATH" (emphasis hers) and she "TOLD HIM THIS WOULD HAPPEN" and can they please come "SAY THEIR FINAL GOODBYES" and also filled with a lot of sniffling and shouting at Jonah in between]

( MORNING PROPHET: NOVEMBER 4, 2016 )

( Gift for Effie Yaxley, left for her at work )

TO: Winks 🐻

[1] So...
[2] What are you wearing?

WHO: Isabella Avery & Effie Yaxley
WHEN: September 27
WHERE: Sebastian's parents' house
SUMMARY: Izzy has a question.
WARNINGS: Dishes

( “I don’t do nappies.” )

TO: Izzy

[1] This entire situation is shit
[2] But my parents and I are at his parents and you're welcome to visit

TO: Winks 🐻

[1] I'm annoyed I barely got to enjoy warding Eudoxia out of the Prophet
[2] Do you think it would be as satisfying a second time around?

TO: Effie

[1] Hey
[x] Do you feel
[2] I think I'm in danger of becoming a weird maudlin drunk if I go to Jax's party alone
[3] Do you & Elsie want to come w/ me?

TO: Finn

[1] Scale of 1-10, how angry are you w/ me right now?
[2] Because I want to talk about your new friendship with Elsie
[3] I was distracted by Henry McKinnon, Vigilante, but now that I've had time to process that mindfuck: what the fuck?

TO: Josie

[1] Can you come to my flat?
[2] Elsie needs a Healer

TO: Jonah

How is work today?

@weresleuth: SPOTTED: LIEwolf Remus Lupin colluding with the Dark Army! Community outreach or NEW PACK ALPHA? #YOUDECIDE #werewolf tiny.wiz/KvkOb

TO: Winks 🐻

[1] So!
[2] What are you wearing?

WHO: Effie Yaxley and Elsie Flint
WHEN: Sunday, 11 September, afternoon (before all the wards shenanigans)
WHERE: A nursery in Upper Flagley
WHAT: Picking a gift for their favorite weekend editor
WARNINGS: Talking about violence, morbidity

( Maybe we’ll drive her to an early retirement. And then they’ll make me weekend editor. )

( EVENING PROPHET: SEPTEMBER 1, 2016 )

( Delivery for Hank McKinnon )

TO: Winks

[1] Elsie? Where the fuck are you?
[2] I'm in the Atrium and I don't see you
[3] Jonah got blood in my hair
[x] If you're dead I'm going to
[4] Whatever. I'm going to come look for you.

( MINISTRY TAKEOVER PART 9 )

TO: Venus

Do you want to come stay with me until this is all straightened out?

later
TO: Winks

[1] Venus is staying with me for a while
[2] Want to bet how long it'll be once she realises I was serious about my flat only having the one room?

WHO: Elsie Flint and Effie Yaxley
WHEN: Various dates over the last couple weeks
WHERE: Various locations
SUMMARY: Ten years in the making
WARNINGS: Mentions of death, feels, sexual suggestion

( Read more... )

( Deliveries to Nigella, Libby and Lo. )

( Owl to Effie Yaxley. )

( Owl to Natalya Dolohov. )

WHO: Philip & Clara Avery and invitees!
WHAT: Reception party.
WHEN: June 25, 3:30pm to around 10pm.
WHERE: Flitterbloom Farms, Northumberland, UK.

( Reception Party )

TO: Winks

I can't make it tonight

WHO: Benjy Fenwick & Effie Yaxley
WHEN: From Hogwarts to Monday, June 20
WHERE: Various places!
SUMMARY: Benjy and Effie through the years.
WARNINGS: Purism?

( “I’m saving you from the monotony of homework.” )

TO: 🍕🌼

if i QUIT my job and NEVER show my face in public again will you still buy me pizza and not make fun of me?

TO: lo, nigella

[1] sorry i never said happy birthday yesterday, lo
[2] i'll make it up to you
[3] BUT ummmm
[x] i was a little busy freaking ou
[4] has effie said anything about me the last couple days?

TO: bffie

[x] so i don't really know what to say but
[x] are we just going be to weird forever
[x] i've got some ideas how we can make reagan's life a living hell and i thought we could
[x] are you avoiding me
[x] daffy found marcus in the bin so
[1] look at this wee holidayer
[2] ( cut for photo )

TO: Belinda, Effie

[1] Will one of you check in on mum and all later, please?
[2] I'm working a lot. Lmk how it goes
[3] Also I hope you're okay

( Voicemail left for Diana Yaxley )

TO: Belinda, Effie

[1] So I hadn't checked my post and mum told me
[2] Are either of you married
[3] 🕵🕵🕵 This is me sleuthing

TO: Alastair Ainsworth

[1] Hey Evan
[2] I'm getting pad thai tonight

[Sent later]

TO: Pip

[1] Hey Pip
[2] I wanted to say congratulations!

WHO: Effie Yaxley and Elsie Flint
WHEN: 23 May, late evening
WHERE: The Daily Prophet offices
SUMMARY: Elsie has a gift for Barnabas! Welcome back, buddy!
WARNINGS: Mentions of murder and a dismembered body part

( Left on Barnabas’ desk. )

TO: Benjy

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fk4BbF7B29w

WHO: Effie Yaxley and Elsie Flint
WHEN: 06 May, early evening pre-reunion
WHERE: The Flint flat
SUMMARY: Elsie has a fashion emergency and it’s Effie to the rescue!
WARNINGS: Mentions of gross injuries, alcohol

( “Maybe we could bring muffs back into style.” )

( The Definitely Uneventful Reunion of the Class of 2006 )

TO: Winks

[1] Look what I found on Krumblr http://virgofromaugust.krumblr.mag/post/143826443143/more-stuff-about-the-signs
[2] Leo: they wink a lot
[3] Do you wink a lot? 😉
[4] Also, where ARE you?
[5] I'm so bored without you 😢

TO: A Gaping Asshole

[1] So was that it?
[2] Nothing you care to say TO me? Just about me?
[3] You didn't seem to mind my purist, death eater supporting family when you were begging me for dirt!
[4] This is exactly what I meant when I said you only drag me out when you want to feel morally superior, though.
[5] But you know what, Benjamín? You're just as much a piece of shit as everyone else.
[6] You're not actually a better person than I am.
[7] I'm glad I realise that now.

( Delivery for Barnabas Cuffe )

@weresleuth: Is Remus Lupin a WEREWOLF? Find out at isremuslupinawerewolf.mag #werewolf #conspiracies #ministryscandal #followback #follow4follow

TO: JJ, Winks

[1] Elsie and I thought you could use some """clean eating""" inspiration.
[2] Dinner is very clean.
[3] We washed our hands before the food arrived anyway.
[4] [ Attached picture ]

( Read more... )

WHO: Effie Yaxley feat. Morven Goyle
WHEN: April 15, dinnertime
WHERE: A restaurant on Diagon Alley
SUMMARY: Effie and her ex-future-mother-in-law have a farewell dinner.
WARNINGS: None!

( “It’s still a pity you’re leaving me.” )

TO: Benjy

Happy birthday.

( owls to Isabella Avery, Lavinia Borgin, Libitina Burke & other young Burke women, Imogen Crabbe, Barty Crouch, Jr., Natalya Dolohov, Venus Dolohov, young Flint women, Ellis Jugson, Bellatrix Lestrange, Alice Longbottom, Narcissa Malfoy, Fiona McTavish, Jonquil Meliflua, Maryam Nott & other young Shafiq women, Morrigan Park & other young Park women, Evander Rosier, Britta Rowle, Clara Rowle, Eva Rowle, Zavrina Shacklebolt, Druella Wilkes, Louise Wilkes, Prudence Wilkes, Euphemia Yaxley, and Belinda Yaxley )

TO: Favorite Sister

1. omg
2. talk me off the ledge
3. THEY KILLED MATT.

TO: Belinda, Effie

[1] [ Screencap of the Barty and Jonah exchange here ]
[2] CROUCH CALLED ME HANDSOME
[3] THIS IS REALLY WEIRD
[4] BUT I LOVE IT??????
[5] 😎😎😎😎😎😎

Added later!

TO: Evander

[1] I think
[2] These smoothies are starting to wear off
[3] 😥

TO: Evander

[x] Stop staring at me
[x] I can't believe you didn't hext me even once
[x] I accidentally took home y
[x] Stop staring at me and not talking to me
[x] I can SEE YOU

TO: Effie

[1] Hey
[2] I got your French presents for you
[3] Part of it's a postcard 😉

TO: Annie

I love you 🌛💝