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[Jun. 28th, 2009|01:12 am] |
They've apparently passed a law here in Sweden saying that women are allowed to sunbathe and swim while topless.
Don't worry, sons, I'll be sure to not do that around you. |
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[Jun. 11th, 2009|06:32 pm] |
There are apparently whole realms of misery I never fully appreciated before.
I don't believe you people put up with this shit for nine months. |
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[Jun. 5th, 2009|11:10 pm] |
So. I really am going to be a father.
That's pretty fucking awesome if you ask me. |
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[May. 26th, 2009|10:08 am] |
Sister dear, Mother of my child...
Do we know if it's a boy or a girl?
I need to know what to paint the nursery. |
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[May. 23rd, 2009|11:30 pm] |
I'M GONNA BE A DADDY!!!
OOC: No. He's not. He's lying. But please, tell him congrats anyway. :) |
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[May. 13th, 2009|01:04 pm] |
( Oizys ) |
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[May. 9th, 2009|02:35 am] |
Dolos...
Looks like you lost the pool. |
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[May. 1st, 2009|10:26 pm] |
Whatever the hell is going on?
I don't approve.
Can't you all go back to being miserable?
Also, I really dislike being affected. |
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[Apr. 26th, 2009|09:57 pm] |
I had a dream last night. It was a great one. One of those ones you'd really like to see come true, you know?
So, Kakia, Oizys and Parker, I went out and bought some big, fluffy pillows and some cute pink nighties for all of you today. Party at my house tonight? I'll bring the video camera, you bring your best pillow fighting stance! |
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[Apr. 23rd, 2009|02:06 pm] |
Amazing how quiet life can be when people aren't talking to you... |
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[Apr. 19th, 2009|02:06 am] |
My sister just broke up with me. She broke my heart. You can't see it, but I've tear tracks on my cheeks and I'm sniffling.
So should any lovely ladies be willing to give me a naked shoulder to cry on? I wouldn't even notice, not really. So heartbroken, am I. But don't let that stop you. Feel free to stop by anyway. |
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[Apr. 16th, 2009|08:20 pm] |
Well, shoot and damn. I seem to have lost my ability to calm children. That is if the lollipop finger prints all over my shirt is to be believed.
Now I'm just going to have to charm the children the old fashioned way. Bribe them. |
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[Mar. 31st, 2009|11:27 pm] |
My voice is apparently soothing to babies.
This is excellent as I've now had three photo-ops with gently sleeping babies. Good for publicity, that. |
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[Mar. 14th, 2009|12:27 pm] |
Today is apparently "Steak and Blowjob" Day.
Instead of Valentine's Day, it's the day where the girls make the boys happy.
So, anyone up to helping me celebrate? |
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[Mar. 11th, 2009|10:12 pm] |
My brother is getting married on Sunday. I suppose I should put in an appearance.
So, I need a date, which means...
Raffle time!
So, ladies. Just comment with your name here, I'll put them all in a hat, and I'll take the one that I pick.
No need to fight! Everyone has an equal chance. I PROMISE.
Raffle has been decided. Sorry.
However, if you are interested in the wedding, you should come by and give the happy couple your congratulations and presents. It's at [address], on Sunday at [Time]. And the happy couple is Ate and Momos. You know, in case you need to write a check of some sort. |
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[Feb. 20th, 2009|09:36 pm] |
So I got a phone call earlier, from someone booking me to do a motivational speech. Maybe I should have checked my ID when I got here.
I think I'll be good at it. |
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[Dec. 28th, 2008|10:07 pm] |
Hell of an entrance, if I do say so myself.
I do wonder if the wind was really necessary. It's rather harsh on the hair. |
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[Dec. 12th, 2008|10:55 pm] |
Not that I'm complaining, because it looks excellent to the constituents, but does anyone know why I've seem to have bought thousands of dollars of Christmas decorations for some church?
I haven't even been to a christian church since the 1700's. |
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[Dec. 1st, 2008|10:48 pm] |
Whaddya know, I managed to clean up the ladyboy mess with just a few simple lies and a well placed tranquilizer. So easy. I do love the right wing, they have such FAITH in their immoral leaders.
Speaking of which, I need an assistant. Someone to you know, bury bodies, pay the hookers off, that kind of thing. I mean I could do it all, but why do the tedious stuff when I can pay others to do it for me?
Only attractive, single young women need apply. |
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[Nov. 16th, 2008|02:44 pm] |
Looks like a hooker.
Smells like a hooker.
Feels like a hooker.
Could be a chick or a dude. Maybe both? I don't know. My knowledge of ladyboys is pretty limited.
Anyone know why I just woke up next to what looks like an tranny? |
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