The Lunatic Cafe
Lunatic Cafe

February 2019

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Feb. 20th, 2019


[info]karazorel
[info]lunatic_cafe

[info]karazorel
[info]lunatic_cafe

[No Subject]


[info]karazorel
[info]lunatic_cafe
Supergirl stopped on a dime when she nearly ran into this wall. She could not believe how close she came to hitting this wall. She found herself in this cafe. How did she seemingly appear here? She wasn't quite sure.

Fifteen minutes ago, she was finishing her day at CatCo by going on a patrol of the City for an hour. Unless there was a crisis or an emergency that requires Supergirl's help, Kara usually does this twice a day, an hour before she needs to get ready for work and an hour after her shift. All she stopped was a bank robbery and took that alien criminal to the D.E.O. (Department of Extranormal Operations) where her sister, Alex Danvers, works as it's Director, as well as stop a mugger by a human criminal.

Kara would hover over the city, honing in on her senses. Making sure no life or death situations. She would then smile warmly, she can go home. She was happy she was going to sit down and watch Rogue One on Netflix with her sister, Alex, who was also getting off work.

Kara would fly down to Earth from near-orbit. She flew down quickly, and in a straight line. Just as she was reaching her apartment. She would stop cold in her tracks as she discovered...she was in some kind of restaurant...or a diner. She stopped at a wall and was breathing in a sigh as she was glad she didn't break the place down with her speed. She looked around. "Oh Rao...." She bit her lip, a bit scared.

She then thought about it and made a guess "Mxyzptlk, if bringing me here is your scheme, I told you a few years ago that I would never marry you."

Aug. 15th, 2014


[info]harley_quinn
[info]lunatic_cafe

[info]harley_quinn
[info]lunatic_cafe

Going to sing that man right out of my head, er I mean hair?


[info]harley_quinn
[info]lunatic_cafe
Harley Quinn was on the outs with the Joker... Again.
This time he vowed if he saw her again he was going to carve her head like a Jack-o-lantern and stick a candle in it so everyone could see her shining smile.
So Harley decided it was time to leave her Puddin and...
Okay, she hadn't gotten that far in her plans on what to do without the Joker in her life but she was trying.

On the run from him she ducked into a darkened store shop doorway and peeked around the corner to see him coming her way down the sidewalk. She gulped when she saw he was carrying candles in one hand and a long butcher knife in the other.

"I guess Mr. J. wasn't kidding about the the carving thing this time." Harley muttered to herself. "And its not even October." Harley clamped a hand over her mouth as she saw the Joker's eyes zero in on the store doorway she was hiding in. "He heard me." She nearly squealed in terror.

Turning she planned on breaking down the store door and hiding inside. With luck she could elude the Joker until Gotham police arrived to investigate the break-in.
Turning she raised her hand to smash the glass door to find...
The store was gone.
It was no longer night.
And she was standing in an open doorway to what looked like a bar/cafe.

"Have I gone off my rocker... Again?" Harley muttered to herself and turning she no longer found the dark streets of Gotham behind her but a sunny parking lot to the cafe. "Well... What you know about that?" Harley asked no one and with one last look at the parking lot to make sure the Joker somehow didn't find himself with her in her delusion, she decided to go into the cafe to relax.

Entering the cafe she started to read a sign that was near the front door but spotted another sign a slight distance away that caught her attention more.

"Karaoke Day. All singers drink free."

Making a beeline for the stage, Harley climbing up on stage she scanned the playlist on the machine and gave a sad chuckle when she found a song she knew the lyrics to well and pressing the buttons she made her selection.

Turning she bowed to the audience, which to be honest hadn't really reacted to her strange costume or seemed to care she was the infamous Harley Quinn and continued eating and drinking with only a few looking in her direction curiously.

As the music began, Harley started to sing.

Crazy
I'm Crazy for feeling so lonely
Im crazy
Crazy for feeling so blue

I knew
Youd love me as long as you wanted
And then someday
Youd leave me for somebody new

Worry
Why do I let myself worry?
Wonderin
What in the world did I do?

Oh Crazy
For thinking that my love could hold you
Im crazy for tryin and crazy for cryin
And Im crazy, for lovin you

Crazy
For thinking that my love could hold you
Im crazy for tryin and crazy for cryin
And Im crazy, for lovin you

As the music faded away, Harley wiped away a slight tear and proceeded to a empty table to wait for a waitress to serve her.

[info]imp_act
[info]lunatic_cafe

[info]imp_act
[info]lunatic_cafe

[No Subject]


[info]imp_act
[info]lunatic_cafe
A portal suddenly opens near the entrance to the cafe and three imps come flying out to land.

Imp #222 looks around. "You know I think this is the first time I have actually been to the cafe."

Imp #1: "Aye, verily and forsooth, I believe it is mine first time too."

Imp #444: "Oh god. What's with Number one this time?" He asks.

Imp #222: "Oh he's been talking to Shakespeare at the Academy again and he's stuck in Old English mode. Just try to ignore him."

Imp #444: "Why can't he talk to Elvira at the school? At least that way we could get some decent dirty stories out of him."

"How sharper than a hound's tooth are unappreciative brothers?" Imp #1 replied.

"Look you two knuckleheads. Don't ruin this for me. I'm hoping to pick up a little chickadee here at the cafe tonight for some fun. Know what I mean?" Imp #222 tells his brother imps.

"Chickadee? Who the hell have you been talking to? W.C. Fields?" Imp 444 rolls his eyes at Imp #222. "And chickadee? That sounds rather fowl thing to do."

"Oh Gods. Not puns. Anything but puns! I always refused to go with Imp 13 to the cafe cause I feared he would...." Imp #1 starts to say.

"Pun..ish you?" Imp #222 says with a smirk.

Imp 444 facepalms and then looks around the cafe. "Where is our waitress? I'm going to need a lot of drinks to get through this night around you two I just know it."

"Perhaps we should be seated before you start complaining about lack of service." Imp 1 grumbles still upset about the bad puns.

"At least we got him out of Old English mode." Imp 222 says bumping Imp 444.

May. 6th, 2014


[info]silence
[info]lunatic_cafe

[info]silence
[info]lunatic_cafe

[No Subject]


[info]silence
[info]lunatic_cafe
There was a not so oddity in the cafe. Or at least something rarely seen as of late. A goddess on her favorite purple couch in the lounge with a penguin sitting near her. Not that anyone could tell by the fact she was currently wearing a set of green pajamas that looked like a dragon or a lizard of some sort. (It was quite possibly a dinosaur, but who even knew with her.) She was also laying down face first on the couch, so that her head was engulfed by the head of the pjs. Meanwhile, her trusty sidekick and familiar, Sigmund, sat on a glittery purple ottoman right beside the couch and played some sort of first person shooter on the gaming screen in the lounge. How a penguin was playing it was anyone's guess, but it was happening. He even had a headset that he was not so politely squawking into at other players online. Every so often he would squawk a little louder than normal and Silence would move slightly on the couch, proving that she wasn't some inanimate object left behind, and yet she didn't bother to actually do anything else.

It was just that kind of time.

Just like it was also a time for random gummi candy rain. Really. When anyone wandered too close to what was unofficially deemed as Silence's Couch, a shower of gummi candy would rain down upon them until they walked away.
Tags:

Mar. 15th, 2014


[info]helencollins
[info]lunatic_cafe

[info]helencollins
[info]lunatic_cafe

[No Subject]


[info]helencollins
[info]lunatic_cafe
Nikita Mears. It's a name that had never escaped Amanda's mind for good reason. She imprisoned her for the rest of her life, or at least tried to. Amanda...or rather Helen, had a friend that no one knew of. Well not a friend, one last asset, another double her company made. A double of Nikita herself. Her Nikita. A double she created under the noise of The Group she use to work for as well as under the noise of the real Nikita.

She programed her well. If Amanda didn't give her a signal after a while, Nikita's double's job was to find her and discreetly help her escape. Nikita would stay with Amanda after as her guard. This Nikita knew of the original and wanted to kill her herself. This Nikita was devoid of humanity, but programmed to be one hundred percent loyal to her. Amanda cannot wait until she sees the look on Nikita's face when the time is right.

Amanda would take on a new identity and had a few hundred million in a Swiss account. Not nearly as much money she had when she had access to The Group's money, but still more than enough to get on by.

It's been over eleven months since the real Nikita locked her in that prison cell. By then, she had a doctor heal her wound, she lives in a home in the tropics, well hidden from the world with modern conveniences and with her Nikita living with her. However, they were not sipping drinks in bikinis on the beach, they were sparring. Amanda felt they needed to keep their skills up so she sparred with Nikita. That night after she put her bodyguard, Nikita to bed, she had on a sundress and walked to the ocean and viewed the night sky. It's much more visible away from civilization. The stars and moon were much more pounced. Amanda was starting to loose her interest for revenge against Nikita. She had her Nikita and everything was perfect.

She sighed and she walked back towards her home. As she opened the door, she found herself entering what appears to be a diner. She turns to walk out but notices there's no door. Of all the times she would be without her Nikita or at least a gun. She felt the coldness of the ground against her bare feet and started to shiver.

Nov. 18th, 2013

[info]initiativelilah
[info]lunatic_cafe
[info]initiativelilah
[info]lunatic_cafe

[No Subject]

[info]initiativelilah
[info]lunatic_cafe
The world, or rather her world is about to go on the brink of war. The Circle of the Black Thorn, The Order of Aurelius , and Glorificus's Minions had made an unholy alliance with North Korean and Iranian Governments to start World War III. Lilah Morgan, the head of The Initiative as well as well as Rutherford Sirk, the head of the Watcher's Council were speaking to the high military brass in DC along with Barack Obama himself and members of the European Union on what to do. Lilah never felt so much pressure put on her in all her life. How did it start? What was the nexus, the turning point, the thing that triggered these events? As simple enough, it started from the death of a young girl.

In the second week of December in 1998, a young girl Buffy Anne Summers left Cleveland and went to the primary Hellmouth in Sunnydale to help Rupert Giles and the White Hat Resistance group stop the then-leader of the Order of Aurelius simply named The Master, from opening a factory. He snapped her neck, killing her. This action caused the Watcher's Council to take a more active role in fighting evil. All watchers who were without a potential slayer under their wing were ordered by Sirk to track down every vampire and demon and slay them all. If a vampire is found, stake it. A demon who is committing acts of evil, kill it. It was time the council did more than just watching. A few days after Buffy's death, Lilah would start working with the council because she was working for The Initiative at the time.

Since then, a few events that occurred as the result of the death of the slayer, war was inevitable. Lilah was scared. Not for her own life, but for her family and friend's lives. She is here to make sure they have a future. She was sitting in a military dark green blazer with her general medals and declarations pinned on the blazer with a matching conservative skirt, nylons and heel with her long brunette hair down. She wasn't talking much, she was just there giving reports and listening in for orders on what their next move might be. Her only words mainly consisted of "Yes sir." "No Sir." And various similar responses.

Lilah was definitely looking forward to stop the apocalypse. But she was also tired of the endless war between humanity and demonic armies. When she heard about some losses, she put her elbow on the table and rubs the bridge of her noise as she closes her eyes, tired. Once she opened them, she found herself in a diner. She got up from the chair she sat in and accidentally knocked it down."What the Hell?!" She yelled out. She figured it out quickly what happened to her, some kind of inter-dimensional travel. But how? There was a mystical barrier put up by the finest witches and warlocks on Earth. It would have been impossible. And of course she was without her gun and stake since the meeting was required that all attendees must be unarmed. She's heard of this occurrence happening on Earth once, though not to her. Shortly before Buffy's death, a young girl named Cordelia Chase teleported from a world where Buffy was the slayer who watched after the Hellmouth on Earth. She then kneels down and picks up the chair she dropped and looked around and was highly alarmed and alert. She laughed and sighed as she rested her elbow on the table with her hand on her forehead, trying to figure a way out of this latest mess she found herself in.

Oct. 16th, 2013


[info]natashastark
[info]lunatic_cafe

[info]natashastark
[info]lunatic_cafe

[No Subject]


[info]natashastark
[info]lunatic_cafe
Natasha Stark, the woman who is the owner or Stark Industries was in a test flight of her new armor, the Mark XLIII Iron Madlen suit. It looks similar to the Mark VII with a few modifications.

Since her operation, she's no longer in need of an arc reactor in her chest, so each suit is powered by an individual a.r. She spoke with JARVIS, her personal computer that happens to be one of the best AIs on the planet. "Is it ready to go into space?" JARVIS replied. 'WE HAVE NOT TESTED IT YET IN ZERO GRAVITY AND ZERO OXYGEN CONDITIONS.' She nods. "Understood." She increases speed to mach 5.

The suit gains altitude. Four miles, five miles, seven miles, now ten miles above sea level. Natasha's suits never flown so high before. Her other suits would have froze up by now. Now at 50 miles above sea level. 'SUIT IS STILL STABILIZED AND OXYGEN IS STILL AT AN ABUNDANCE LEVELS.' She smiles. "Awesome! Keep going!" She continues to fly until she's now 64 miles, just a bit under two miles higher than one needs to be in space. 'NATASHA, WE'RE NOW IN OUTER-SPACE.' JARVIS reported. "Excellent. Now let's test this suit upon re-entry to see if it will handle the heat."

She makes a noise dive back to Earth. Combine with the suit's flight speed and Earth's gravity, the suit was coming down like a bat out of Hell. The suit was becoming a flying fireball, however the suit and Natasha was intact. Natasha didn't even feel hot. Once she was 20 miles from the surface of the Earth, she fires the retro-rockets. She would then land safely someplace in the Amazon Rainforest.

She then looked around "Jarvis, are you still with me?" 'YES.' She smiled. "Excellent now lets go..." She finds her surrounding changing. She sees herself in a diner. She narrows her eyes. "...home." She would speak to JARVIS."You still with me Jarvis?" 'I AM. BUT IT SHOULD NOT BE POSSIBLE. I DO NOT READ YOU ANY PLACE ON EARTH.' Natasha's slightly nervous. The last person who was capable of such travel nearly destroyed New York, though thanks to her and the Avengers, they prevented that. She nearly had a panic attack, but she calmed herself. "Get a grip, Nat." She said to herself.

She then removed the suit by activating a mechanism that made the suit collapse off of her and folded into a briefcase-like object with a handle. She was now in a black pin-striped femme-suit with a white blouse under it and black high heels. She slips on her glasses and picked up her armor briefcase. She walked to the bar of this diner and called out. "Excuse me, but can anyone tell me where I am?"

Oct. 11th, 2013

[info]ex_faithiele888
[info]lunatic_cafe
[info]ex_faithiele888
[info]lunatic_cafe

[No Subject]

[info]ex_faithiele888
[info]lunatic_cafe
Faith was getting old. She can admit it.

Not old physically because duh, slayer. Most girls in her 20s wished they were half as strong as she is. Heck the same could be said for men. Being chosen and all of that.

No, it's more of a state of mind. She was possessed, chosen, in a hellmouth, in a coma for eight months. Been good, evil, then good again. Traveled the world, had six boyfriends. She been a convicted murderer. And through-out her 10 year career as a vampire slayer, she killed a lot of vampires, demons, and saved the world.

Though for the last five years, she put herself on retirement. She's not the 'fighting the never-ending battle' type. Though Faith didn't completely walk away from it. She still to this day, carries a stake in case she spots a vampire or demon killing some bystander or if they try to pluck off a slayer for bragging rights.

She doesn't even like going to night clubs anymore. She tried to back in 2010, but she heard a remix to a Justin Bieber song. She thought to herself at the time that she would rather be in another coma than listen to this crappy music. It was then she knew she wasn't exactly a kid or at the very least a teenager anymore.

This night, Faith was sitting at a bar in Prague. She's currently traveling Europe. She has not been in contact much with the Slayer Brigade, Scoobies..or whatever they call each other since her retirement. She did have an argument with Buffy about it, but Buffy grown to understand, though they never speak to each other anymore. Though various news reports she watched from time to time she knew Buffy was still out there.

In fact, she was watching some report about Buffy and her friends. Though they didn't say what exactly happened, it was reported that some group was saved from some satanic cult...or something.

As she took a swig of her beer, she didn't at first noticed she vanished until she put the bottle down. The table went from being dark wooden table to a white glossy one. Faith sighed a bit. She was use to jumping dimensions unexpectedly, so it made Faith a bit jaded to it, so unlike most people, she wasn't surprised.

Faith just took another swig of her beer before asking. "If this is Red dragging me here to convince me to return to your little group, I'll say it again, not interested."

Aug. 23rd, 2013


[info]harley_quinn
[info]lunatic_cafe

[info]harley_quinn
[info]lunatic_cafe

Reality crash


[info]harley_quinn
[info]lunatic_cafe
Life can sure be funny can't it?

One moment I'm listening to my Puddin explaining to me how it was all my fault that his latest scheme to get Bats failed, also trying to dodge as he fired at me with his big gun, and the next thing I know I'm standing in the doorway of some strange bar? Pub? Restaurant?
Heck if I know what this place is.

As I walk into the place several people at tables call out to me about my new look.

Huh? I don't know who these people are or why they act like they know me.

Seeing a sign I pause and read.

You are at the Lunatic Cafe.
You are at a nexus point in the multiverse.
Please do not panic.
You may run into yourself or several selves.
They are from alternate realities.

The print gets smaller and smaller as I read down the sign and I have to lean way over to read the smallest print at the very bottom.

Love the short skirt Harley. The view is great from back here. Love Imp 13.

I frown as I stand back up and turn to look behind me. There is some kind of small creature with bat like wings and tiny horns on his head. He flashes a smirk at me and then vanishes into a black opening that suddenly opens behind him.
As I look back around at the sign I notice it is now gone as well.

I pause as I tap my cheek with a finger.

"Okay my name ain't Alice and I sure don't remember falling down a rabbit hole. What the heck have I gotten myself into now?"

Jun. 7th, 2013


[info]padmeamidala
[info]lunatic_cafe

[info]padmeamidala
[info]lunatic_cafe

[No Subject]


[info]padmeamidala
[info]lunatic_cafe
She's not sure what she's doing here. She was about to speak to the senate on Coruscant about the current conflict known as The Clone Wars, one that threatens the very foundation of the Republic. She had what she was going to say memorized. She even anticipated a few response, or at least as many responses as she can think of.

However, as she left her penthouse which is for the Naboo Senator through the front door, she found herself in a cafe, one that looked similar to Dex's on the planet she just left. It was full of creatures she's never seen, but then again, she assumed many of them were aliens and in her line of work, she meets at least one or two races she's never seen or heard of. So it's not the occupants that has her in a figurative term, scratching her head, but on how she arrived there.

May. 28th, 2013

[info]programgem
[info]lunatic_cafe
[info]programgem
[info]lunatic_cafe

[No Subject]

[info]programgem
[info]lunatic_cafe
"Well, this is intriguing..." These was her first words when she found herself suddenly not only out of her world, which was a computer-simulated realm known as "The Grid" but also she's not been derezzed, or as the users would call it, dead. Clu had double-crossed her boss Castor, though in someways, she knew it would come back to bite him since he betrayed Sam to Clu's forces. She wasn't happy she lived, but she didn't really have much range of emotion, though she didn't question it.

Still, this world felt different. Warmer, less artificial. It felt oddly real. She rubbed her finger along a random empty seat and she took a look at her fingertip. The substance on it felt oily. She narrowed her eyes to take in what she discovered before she curled a lovely smirk. She thought out loud to herself. "I am in the world of the users. How extraordinary."

She still was in her outfit she wore in the grid as a Siren Program, so as she gracefully walked over to a seat, the lights on her outfit would dim and brighten with each movement of her body. She sat down in a booth within this cafe and demurely crosses her legs in lady-like fashion. She outstretched one arm on the top of the seat as she stoically studies the realm she finds herself in.

May. 4th, 2013


[info]jennifercheck
[info]lunatic_cafe

[info]jennifercheck
[info]lunatic_cafe

[No Subject]


[info]jennifercheck
[info]lunatic_cafe
Oh kay what the hell. was the intital though that rang through her head, but then she realized, she wasn't in hell anymore. Strange. Cool but strange. Little did she know was how much time passed in the real world. To Jennifer, she has been in Hell listening to the same song "Through the Trees" Over and over again by that band that attempted to kill her, only in succeeding in making her a murderous demonic succubus for the past 200 years. But in her world, it's only been four years.

She did find ways to make her time in Hell less unpleasant. But the price she paid was....well she would rather not say, but it wasn't pleasant or cheap.

As she arrived, Jennifer somehow found herself no longer aged and back to her youthful self due to Hell's effects no longer having any effect on her. She found herself. in this cafe that made the nicest restaurant in Devil's Kettle look like an outhouse. She was just happy to be any where but where she was.

She was practically beaming when she practically skipped over to a table and took a seat. She closed her eyes and laid back in the chair, relaxing for the first time in a while, relieved to be out of Hell.

Sep. 23rd, 2012


[info]taliaalghul
[info]lunatic_cafe

[info]taliaalghul
[info]lunatic_cafe

[No Subject]


[info]taliaalghul
[info]lunatic_cafe
She entered the cafe, but it wasn't something she planned. Talia, under the guise of Miranda Tate, was about to speak to the Wayne Enterprises Board of Directors with Lucius Fox.

She saw Bane in there and her heart stopped, like everyone else who seen him. But it was more out of love rather than fear. But then just as they were about to leave the conference room, she vanished.

When she arrived, she knew somehow she wasn't not only out of Gotham, but out of her world. Rather than lose her mind, she acted as if things were normal as she took a seat in an empty booth.

Dec. 31st, 2011


[info]manoftomorrow
[info]lunatic_cafe

[info]manoftomorrow
[info]lunatic_cafe

[No Subject]


[info]manoftomorrow
[info]lunatic_cafe
Clark walks through the doors of the cafe wearing a tuxedo. There was a formal party at the Daily Planet, but Clark felt the need for some fresh air (ironic considering who he was underneath the tuxedo) and somehow he ended up here.

Still wanting that fresh air, he went outside and sat on a bench near an outdoor fireplace. It wasn't lit yet, so he uses his heat vision to light it.

With a content sigh, he leans back and looks up at the night sky.

Jul. 30th, 2011


[info]capt_america11
[info]lunatic_cafe

[info]capt_america11
[info]lunatic_cafe

[No Subject]


[info]capt_america11
[info]lunatic_cafe
Steve Rogers enters the cafe in a daze. His mind running in a hundred different directions.

His life had taken an unexpected turn lately. He saved a lot of lives, but sacrificed his own. Crashing into a snow and waking up 70 years later is a bit jarring.

After getting away from the strange guy in black with the eyepatch, he somehow ended up here.

Suddenly, he became aware of his surroundings. He looks around the cafe confused as to how he got here.

"Like this day wasn't weird enough," he mused aloud.

He looked around cautiously as he found a seat in a booth.

Jul. 19th, 2011


[info]kent_clark
[info]lunatic_cafe

[info]kent_clark
[info]lunatic_cafe

[No Subject]


[info]kent_clark
[info]lunatic_cafe
Clark Kent, dressed in his 3-piece suit and glasses, walks into the cafe and finds a seat in a booth. After ordering a coffee, he pulls out a notepad out of his briefcase that holds his Blur jacket.

Thinking for a moment he starts writing, but scratches it out and crumples up the paper.

Was he working on a story? Nope.

He was trying to find the right words for his wedding vows to Lois. And it was giving him problems.

Jun. 18th, 2011


[info]rick_dagless
[info]lunatic_cafe

[info]rick_dagless
[info]lunatic_cafe

A bad day to be Rose


[info]rick_dagless
[info]lunatic_cafe
My names is Doctor Rick Dagless M.D. and deciding that I needed a drink after the startling morning I've had visa a vie waking to my gardener, the man whom I hired to nurture and care for the lawn and plants around my homestead in Serenity Hills, going herbicidal maniac I decided to drop by the local pub and eatery named Lunatic Cafe.

The day started when I awoke at the crack of noon to the sounds of a high pitched buzzing noise plus the sounds of maniacal laughter. Springing from my bed like the well oiled panther I am, I stubbed my toe on the bedside stand and cursed loudly and longly.
Taking the time to dress in my chosen set of clothing for the day and my medical jacket, cause there is never a reason for a qualified doctor, nay do I say a healing god like myself to be seen without my medi-jacket, even if I am off duty at the moment from Darkplace Hospital where I work, I rushed out to see what the laughter and buzzing was about.

There I found Manson, my aforementioned gardener and chosen caretaker of all things plant like around my domicile dementedly attacking the lovely and delicate Alba Maximum with a weed whacker.

Alba Maximum being the large white rose bushes around the front entrance of my home. The herbicidal maniac had shredded most of Alba's delicate petals and they were strewn haphazardly across the front lawn.

I could describe the scene as drops of blood across an emerald carpet except for a few things. One being that Alba Maximum is a white rose and my front lawn already looked like crap with yellow dead grass.

Come to think of it, Manson was really a crappy gardener and I should have fired him months ago.

So reacting appropriately, I pulled my gun from my trousers and shot Manson between the eyes.

Oh don't get me wrong. It wasn't because he slaughtered two innocent rose bushes that I shot him. It wasn't even that he was obviously possessed by some evil demon of Hell that for some reason didn't like white roses.
No it was cause the bugger upon seeing me dropped his weed whacker and pulled a machete from his own front trousers and rushed to attack me.

Which by the way, if any young people had witnessed that this morning, they should be informed straight a way. Never store long sharp objects down the front of your trousers. Circumcisions should only be performed by qualified medical personnel or elderly men of the Jewish persuasions.
Something I don't think Manson was either of.

So after dealing with my now ex-gardener and having to explain to the local boys in blue what had happened, I felt the need for a few stiff drinks and a bit of breakfast.
I wasn't going to drink to dull the pain of loss of life, even though the Alba Maximums were my favorite flowers on my property, but just because I felt I could use some booze and food at the moment. Maybe more the booze than food but after that, who wouldn't?

So I found myself standing inside the entrance to the Lunatic Cafe pondering the twists and turns and mysteries of life. Visa a vie, just how long was I going to have to wait for a waitress to show up and seat me at a table this morning?

May. 10th, 2011


[info]susan_imp
[info]lunatic_cafe

[info]susan_imp
[info]lunatic_cafe

New faces in familiar places


[info]susan_imp
[info]lunatic_cafe
A black portal opens in the middle of the cafe and a moment later a stern faced, obviously annoyed looking young blond stomps out and heads to the bar. Clutched in the blond's fist in a death grip could barely be made out to be a girly type trash magazine.

"I'll kill him. And I mean it this time!" The blond muttered to herself. "He got away with this crap when it was distant dimensions but now... ON MY OWN DOORSTEP!"

The woman pauses long enough to glance up and acknowledge the bartender.

"Something really strong that I probably shouldn't be drinking." She says to them and goes back a moment later to muttering to herself.

"I really liked that body too. It was cute and more than a few times I was told it was perky!"

"PERKY!" She nearly yells and then looks up apologetically to the bartender. "Sorry. I'm upset." A moment later she asks. "Tell me, do you think this body is perky?"

Dec. 22nd, 2010


[info]darth_sidious
[info]lunatic_cafe

[info]darth_sidious
[info]lunatic_cafe

Path to the darkside of the cafe.


[info]darth_sidious
[info]lunatic_cafe
The amount of newcomers to the cafe seemed to be increasing as the holiday season drew closer to completion. Perhaps the cafe was just trying to bring joy and happiness to those that could use it the most?

Or maybe the cafe was just making a desperate cry for help from all the decorating it's owner was putting it through lately?

Who knew what went through the cafe's mind? Or if indeed the cafe had a mind?

In whatever case as the doors of the cafe opened to reveal a darkness beyond, a even darker image strode through. As soon as the figure cleared the doorway, the doors swung shut closing off whatever dimension the person had come from.

"Another thing Lord Vader, I expect you to have handled that matter we discussed earlier..." The figure paused as he realized he was not where he had been and 'Lord Vader' had not managed to make it through the doors with him.

Dec. 21st, 2010


[info]dongalor
[info]lunatic_cafe

[info]dongalor
[info]lunatic_cafe

Chancellor Dongalor arrives....


[info]dongalor
[info]lunatic_cafe
The doors to the cafe open and the sound of trumpets can be heard blaring and a moment later a bald headed man in fine robes walks in accompanied by a mousy looking man with a really bad haircut.
They both pause just inside the cafe as the doors to the cafe swing shut cutting off the trumpet fanfare.

"Oh I say Barnabus, I like what you have done with the feasting hall but who are all these other people here? And don't you think you over did it a bit with the trees and decorations? Mind you I like the effort you went to honor me."

The mousy looking man who it appears is named Barnabus looks around in confusion.
"My Lord? I...Um, Didn't do this. I think we may have made a wrong turn somewhere."

"Barnabus don't be foolish. We are in my castle and was headed towards the Feasting Hall. How could we possible make a wrong turn? Unless you are trying to suggest that some strange and clearly magical portal somehow opened as we were entering the hall and sent us to some strange dimension?"

"Um, yes sire. I'm afraid that is exactly what I'm suggesting."

"Oh?" Dongalor looks around the place with interest. "Well then... I guess you better announce me then."

"Oh, um, yes of course sire." Barnabus takes a few steps into the cafe and clears his throat.
"Announcing High Lord Chancellor Donold David Dongalor." Barnabus waits a moment but when no one seems to even look over in their direction he kind of deflates.

"They, um, don't seem to be that impressed."

"Well of course they aren't. They don't know my glory do they? That's okay, they'll learn." Dongalor explains to him. They wait looking at each other for a moment.

Finally Barnabus risks a question. "Do you think we are supposed to pick a table and seat ourselves?"

Dongalor looks around a moment. "Well I don't know. I've never been here before have I?" Spying the sign by the front entrance he pauses to read it. "Barnabus? What do you make of this? No weapons and no violence? Whatever do they do here for entertainment then?"