Oh kay what the hell. was the intital though that rang through her head, but then she realized, she wasn't in hell anymore. Strange. Cool but strange. Little did she know was how much time passed in the real world. To Jennifer, she has been in Hell listening to the same song "Through the Trees" Over and over again by that band that attempted to kill her, only in succeeding in making her a murderous demonic succubus for the past 200 years. But in her world, it's only been four years.
She did find ways to make her time in Hell less unpleasant. But the price she paid was....well she would rather not say, but it wasn't pleasant or cheap.
As she arrived, Jennifer somehow found herself no longer aged and back to her youthful self due to Hell's effects no longer having any effect on her. She found herself. in this cafe that made the nicest restaurant in Devil's Kettle look like an outhouse. She was just happy to be any where but where she was.
She was practically beaming when she practically skipped over to a table and took a seat. She closed her eyes and laid back in the chair, relaxing for the first time in a while, relieved to be out of Hell.
She entered the cafe, but it wasn't something she planned. Talia, under the guise of Miranda Tate, was about to speak to the Wayne Enterprises Board of Directors with Lucius Fox.
She saw Bane in there and her heart stopped, like everyone else who seen him. But it was more out of love rather than fear. But then just as they were about to leave the conference room, she vanished.
When she arrived, she knew somehow she wasn't not only out of Gotham, but out of her world. Rather than lose her mind, she acted as if things were normal as she took a seat in an empty booth.
Clark walks through the doors of the cafe wearing a tuxedo. There was a formal party at the Daily Planet, but Clark felt the need for some fresh air (ironic considering who he was underneath the tuxedo) and somehow he ended up here.
Still wanting that fresh air, he went outside and sat on a bench near an outdoor fireplace. It wasn't lit yet, so he uses his heat vision to light it.
With a content sigh, he leans back and looks up at the night sky.
Steve Rogers enters the cafe in a daze. His mind running in a hundred different directions.
His life had taken an unexpected turn lately. He saved a lot of lives, but sacrificed his own. Crashing into a snow and waking up 70 years later is a bit jarring.
After getting away from the strange guy in black with the eyepatch, he somehow ended up here.
Suddenly, he became aware of his surroundings. He looks around the cafe confused as to how he got here.
"Like this day wasn't weird enough," he mused aloud.
He looked around cautiously as he found a seat in a booth.
Clark Kent, dressed in his 3-piece suit and glasses, walks into the cafe and finds a seat in a booth. After ordering a coffee, he pulls out a notepad out of his briefcase that holds his Blur jacket.
Thinking for a moment he starts writing, but scratches it out and crumples up the paper.
Was he working on a story? Nope.
He was trying to find the right words for his wedding vows to Lois. And it was giving him problems.
A bad day to be Rose
My names is Doctor Rick Dagless M.D. and deciding that I needed a drink after the startling morning I've had visa a vie waking to my gardener, the man whom I hired to nurture and care for the lawn and plants around my homestead in Serenity Hills, going herbicidal maniac I decided to drop by the local pub and eatery named Lunatic Cafe.
The day started when I awoke at the crack of noon to the sounds of a high pitched buzzing noise plus the sounds of maniacal laughter. Springing from my bed like the well oiled panther I am, I stubbed my toe on the bedside stand and cursed loudly and longly.
Taking the time to dress in my chosen set of clothing for the day and my medical jacket, cause there is never a reason for a qualified doctor, nay do I say a healing god like myself to be seen without my medi-jacket, even if I am off duty at the moment from Darkplace Hospital where I work, I rushed out to see what the laughter and buzzing was about.
There I found Manson, my aforementioned gardener and chosen caretaker of all things plant like around my domicile dementedly attacking the lovely and delicate Alba Maximum with a weed whacker.
Alba Maximum being the large white rose bushes around the front entrance of my home. The herbicidal maniac had shredded most of Alba's delicate petals and they were strewn haphazardly across the front lawn.
I could describe the scene as drops of blood across an emerald carpet except for a few things. One being that Alba Maximum is a white rose and my front lawn already looked like crap with yellow dead grass.
Come to think of it, Manson was really a crappy gardener and I should have fired him months ago.
So reacting appropriately, I pulled my gun from my trousers and shot Manson between the eyes.
Oh don't get me wrong. It wasn't because he slaughtered two innocent rose bushes that I shot him. It wasn't even that he was obviously possessed by some evil demon of Hell that for some reason didn't like white roses.
No it was cause the bugger upon seeing me dropped his weed whacker and pulled a machete from his own front trousers and rushed to attack me.
Which by the way, if any young people had witnessed that this morning, they should be informed straight a way. Never store long sharp objects down the front of your trousers. Circumcisions should only be performed by qualified medical personnel or elderly men of the Jewish persuasions.
Something I don't think Manson was either of.
So after dealing with my now ex-gardener and having to explain to the local boys in blue what had happened, I felt the need for a few stiff drinks and a bit of breakfast.
I wasn't going to drink to dull the pain of loss of life, even though the Alba Maximums were my favorite flowers on my property, but just because I felt I could use some booze and food at the moment. Maybe more the booze than food but after that, who wouldn't?
So I found myself standing inside the entrance to the Lunatic Cafe pondering the twists and turns and mysteries of life. Visa a vie, just how long was I going to have to wait for a waitress to show up and seat me at a table this morning?
New faces in familiar places
A black portal opens in the middle of the cafe and a moment later a stern faced, obviously annoyed looking young blond stomps out and heads to the bar. Clutched in the blond's fist in a death grip could barely be made out to be a girly type trash magazine.
"I'll kill him. And I mean it this time!" The blond muttered to herself. "He got away with this crap when it was distant dimensions but now... ON MY OWN DOORSTEP!"
The woman pauses long enough to glance up and acknowledge the bartender.
"Something really strong that I probably shouldn't be drinking." She says to them and goes back a moment later to muttering to herself.
"I really liked that body too. It was cute and more than a few times I was told it was perky!"
"PERKY!" She nearly yells and then looks up apologetically to the bartender. "Sorry. I'm upset." A moment later she asks. "Tell me, do you think this body is perky?"
Path to the darkside of the cafe.
The amount of newcomers to the cafe seemed to be increasing as the holiday season drew closer to completion. Perhaps the cafe was just trying to bring joy and happiness to those that could use it the most?
Or maybe the cafe was just making a desperate cry for help from all the decorating it's owner was putting it through lately?
Who knew what went through the cafe's mind? Or if indeed the cafe had a mind?
In whatever case as the doors of the cafe opened to reveal a darkness beyond, a even darker image strode through. As soon as the figure cleared the doorway, the doors swung shut closing off whatever dimension the person had come from.
"Another thing Lord Vader, I expect you to have handled that matter we discussed earlier..." The figure paused as he realized he was not where he had been and 'Lord Vader' had not managed to make it through the doors with him.
Chancellor Dongalor arrives....
The doors to the cafe open and the sound of trumpets can be heard blaring and a moment later a bald headed man in fine robes walks in accompanied by a mousy looking man with a really bad haircut.
They both pause just inside the cafe as the doors to the cafe swing shut cutting off the trumpet fanfare.
"Oh I say Barnabus, I like what you have done with the feasting hall but who are all these other people here? And don't you think you over did it a bit with the trees and decorations? Mind you I like the effort you went to honor me."
The mousy looking man who it appears is named Barnabus looks around in confusion.
"My Lord? I...Um, Didn't do this. I think we may have made a wrong turn somewhere."
"Barnabus don't be foolish. We are in my castle and was headed towards the Feasting Hall. How could we possible make a wrong turn? Unless you are trying to suggest that some strange and clearly magical portal somehow opened as we were entering the hall and sent us to some strange dimension?"
"Um, yes sire. I'm afraid that is exactly what I'm suggesting."
"Oh?" Dongalor looks around the place with interest. "Well then... I guess you better announce me then."
"Oh, um, yes of course sire." Barnabus takes a few steps into the cafe and clears his throat.
"Announcing High Lord Chancellor Donold David Dongalor." Barnabus waits a moment but when no one seems to even look over in their direction he kind of deflates.
"They, um, don't seem to be that impressed."
"Well of course they aren't. They don't know my glory do they? That's okay, they'll learn." Dongalor explains to him. They wait looking at each other for a moment.
Finally Barnabus risks a question. "Do you think we are supposed to pick a table and seat ourselves?"
Dongalor looks around a moment. "Well I don't know. I've never been here before have I?" Spying the sign by the front entrance he pauses to read it. "Barnabus? What do you make of this? No weapons and no violence? Whatever do they do here for entertainment then?"
A puppet in search of his puppetmaster?
As one of the patrons of the Cafe opened the door to enter, there was a quick pattering of feet and something small scuttled inside before the door could close again.
The lights in the cafe this evening were slightly dimmed to allow the patrons to enjoy the Christmas lights and decorations that adorned almost every square inch of the interior of the cafe. The main dimmed lights also allowed the small dark figure to go mostly unseen as it momentarily took refuge under a huge Christmas tree right beside the front door. Those that did manage to catch a glimpse of the figure merely raised an eyebrow and then went back to their dining and/or drinking. After all stranger things were seen in the cafe on a regular basis.
The doll figure posed next to a large nutcracker under the tree for a moment before it scuttled out to stand and pause at the entrance signs to the cafe warning about weapons not being allowed in the cafe.
The tiny figure with the porcelain face looked up at the sign and then glanced at his right arm which ended in a knife blade and then raised his left 'hand' to reveal a wicked looking hook. If anyone had been looking at the creature's face they would have seen twin tiny spikes shoot forward to be seen in the thing's dark eye sockets before being pulled back. This continued several times, giving voice to the doll like creature's frustration.
Finally the puppet noticed small print near the bottom of the sign. "Note: No Weapons rule only applies to creatures, beings, androids, cyborgs or other life forms that can remove their weapons. If such weapons are impossible to remove or sheathed because they are part of your physical makeup let it be known the rule is amended for your sake and you may enter the cafe but the no violence rule is still strictly in force.
Impossible of course but it almost looked as if the puppet breathed a sigh of relief before once again darting back to the shadows of the tables and chairs and made its way deeper into the cafe.
Finally reaching the bar the puppet pulled it way up the side of it till it could sit on top of the bar. And there it sat as if waiting.