The Lunatic Cafe

Running in terror I just managed to reach another ancient looking windmill.
Really how many of those damn things are there? What I get sent to Holland and no one saw fit to tell me?
Anyway, reaching the windmill I wrenched the door open, threw myself inside and slammed my back against the door to stop... Well, I'm never really sure what the hell it is that chases me on these dark moonless nights through the woods. In any case I let out a defiant and manly yell of defiance as I waited for the whatever the hell it was to slam against the door and take me.

"AHHHHH! AHHHH!" As I realized that there was no banging on the door long after there should have been I let out one more. "AHHH?" Before looking around.

Some how the inside of the windmill looked like some kind of fancy cafe or diner.

"Huh?" I said intelligently before turning back to the door and cautiously opening it.

Instead of the dark and ominous forest that I had just left, there was now a sunny bright parking lot.

"Okay... I dove through the door into the mill, hit my head and this is some kind of concussion induced hallucination. I'll wake any moment to find a Deadite gnawing on my leg."

Deciding to go with my delusion, I looked over the cafe I was in and saw a variety of people eating and drinking. A few were looking my way but none of them were overly reacting to a man carrying a shotgun in one hand and the other hand....Well, where a hand should be, was an attached chainsaw. Just more proof this was a hell of a concussion dream.

The doors to the cafe burst open and a woman dressed in red and black cartwheeled into the room to end in a crouch with a huge over sized gun in her hand.

"Prepare for the ultimate punchline Puddin..." Harley blinked a few times.

Cocking her head side to side she studied the diners and casual drinkers who for the most part ignored her entrance and continued with their conversations.

With a shrug Harley put her huge gun in a handbag she was carrying.

Catching the eye of a waitress she asked. "So... whatcha got in here with chocolate in it?"

Ebony had on a black corset with pruple stuff around the outside. She also had on her black boots and black fishnets (basically Hot Topic threw up on her). Her white foundation only made her already pale skin seem flawless and her black eyeliner and red eyeshaow were as prefect as always. A lot of people said she looked like Amy Lee and that was okay because she wasn't some stupid fucking preps. Enoby hadted preps more than anthiung. They were all fake and whatever. Dumeldorf was a prep put he tried to pretend to nbe goth because goths are better. He even cept showing up to the MCR and GC concerts at Hogesmeade but he couldn't fake her out. He was so fucking lame.

She had been looking for Draco because she knew he was fucking Vampire behind her back and she wanted to tell him only preps do stuff like that. ut somehow she ended up in the Lunatic Cafe. She knew she was in the Cafe (because vampires know that kind of stuffs, ok?) even though she had meber been here before.

"OMG11 I just wantedf to see my Draco! Now I may never see him again!!1" Tara sexily started crying tears of blood (and I know they can because mah friend said they did it in vampire choronicals, ok?). She wanted to cut her rists but she didn't have a razor on her. Life wasn't fair!!1 All she wanted to do was love Drako! Now she may never see him again. Or Vampire. With their sexy contacts that make them look like Gerard Way and Joel madden who were so fucking hot!

Not only all this but she sexily stepped in dog crap on her way in! Why was Satan punishing her!?1 It wasn't her fault she wasn't so beautiful!

Oh my Satan! Was that Gerard Way over there? He is soooo hot! He's even hotter in convert. She had seen him like 10 times there. Mayb she shuld go talk to him! Or maybe that was Joel Madden since they luked so much alike!

(ooc note: pb is intentionally as terrible as I can muster. I couldn't resist throwing in some jokes. It's just too easy. Just consider it Sage's commentary or Tara's author notes. Do you know how hard it is to NOT fix typos? )