InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "padawan"

winchester, sam. (ex_demonbloo908) wrote in wariscomingcom,
@ 2014-02-18 23:53:00

Entry tags:

andy gallagher, anna milton, bobby singer, castiel, crowley, dean winchester, hugo weasley, jacen solo, katherine pierce, kol mikaelson, loki, rebekah salvatore, robin hood, rogue, ruby winchester, sam winchester, scott mccall, spike

I've decided that I no longer want my soul.

It would probably rip me apart at this point and I'm not really seeing why anyone would want to end up a drooling, slobbering, useless mess for the rest of their days, so I'm gonna take a pass on the whole messy resolution to my situation.

I understand that may be a conflict of interest for some of you. If any of you insist on trying to find me in an attempt to force that thing down my throat, then do so at your own risk.

If this doesn't bother you or if you really don't care, then have a nice life as I won't be hanging around Lawrence anymore. Or not. I actually don't care either way.

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notbloodycasper
2014-02-19 04:15 pm UTC (link)

I've been where you are. All soulless and not giving a damn. And for awhile, it's all right, because not dealing with it all is an amazing, freeing feeling, innit? But in the end, it's not worth it. It's really not. Because you feel nothing, no grief, no despair, pain, guilt, but also no happiness, joy, excitement. It's empty. Why would anyone want to be just a shell?

It's not worth it, Sam.

(Reply to this) (Thread)

	ex_demonbloo908 2014-02-19 08:39 pm UTC (link)
	I don't want to be a shell. But I don't want to be dead either. My soul is going to destroy me, Spike. It's far too ruined for me to take on now. I'd rather be empty than dead. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	notbloodycasper 2014-02-19 08:56 pm UTC (link)
	Then you let people have the time to find a way around that part. The people here, you know how amazing they can be, Sam. The feats they can manage. So maybe there's a way to keep the soul from destroying you. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	ex_demonbloo908 2014-02-20 07:31 am UTC (link)
	Are you saying your soul didn't tear you apart when you reunited it with yourself? You didn't feel pain? You didn't go crazy? What happened to you, Spike? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	notbloodycasper 2014-02-20 03:43 pm UTC (link)
	I'm not saying it will be easy or painless or guilt-free, but you have so many more resources at your disposal here, Sam, people who would do whatever it takes to make sure it didn't wreck you. Whether you care about them right now or not, they still care about you. That's why they're trying to help you. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	ex_demonbloo908 2014-02-21 06:42 am UTC (link)
	I'm not interested in pain or guilt. How does that help me? Those emotions only cloud my judgment and make me weak. Like my brother. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	notbloodycasper 2014-02-21 09:15 pm UTC (link)
	No one is, but at least it means you still feel something. I have a feeling you'll be more appreciative for that when this is all rectified. It doesn't make you weak, Sam. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	ex_demonbloo908 2014-02-22 08:22 am UTC (link)
	It made me jump into a hole with the Devil. Yeah. It made me weak. (Reply to this) (Parent)

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