I've been where you are. All soulless and not giving a damn. And for awhile, it's all right, because not dealing with it all is an amazing, freeing feeling, innit? But in the end, it's not worth it. It's really not. Because you feel nothing, no grief, no despair, pain, guilt, but also no happiness, joy, excitement. It's empty. Why would anyone want to be just a shell?