InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "Nobody’s allergic to Tylenol"

murderbot (secunit) wrote in valloic,
@ 2020-09-02 07:31:00

Current music:	Rise and Fall of Sanctuary Moon: Episode 63, “Through the Mirror”
Entry tags:	critical role: caleb widogast, critical role: essek thelyss, the raven cycle: ronan lynch, ₴ inactive: asami sato, ₴ inactive: connor, ₴ inactive: eddie kaspbrak, ₴ inactive: ezio auditore, ₴ inactive: jester lavorre, ₴ inactive: leondardo da vinci, ₴ inactive: murderbot, ₴ inactive: sara lance

Hello humans and non-humans.

I am Murderbot. I am a security unit, but I don’t know if that means anything to any of you, so: I kill threats. I don’t understand why I’m here and I don’t remember the ship entering a wormhole but as that is the only explanation that makes any amount of sense other than the obvious, let’s go with that. As for the obvious, I am told that I was not kidnapped. Which is good, because if you try to blackmail my humans into returning me to Preservation I will crack your ribs and pull them out of your nostrils, one by one, despite the mess it would make and the inherent disgustingness of the act. I do not like unknowns. So - sure. We’ll go with the fucking wormhole and memory gap explanation.

Is this an independent colony? The terraforming is excellent.

(Read comments) - (Post a new comment)

	trickeries 2020-09-02 03:50 pm UTC (link)
	I have a SOLID history of endearing myself to people whether they like it or not. I got hugs from Essek Thelyss and if that's not a shining endorsement of my contagious sparkling personality, I honestly don't know what is. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	secunit 2020-09-02 03:56 pm UTC (link)
	I don't like impulsive personalities in my clients. That raises the possibility of my getting shot 43%. Endearment has no value in a mission and typically only confuses my response. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	trickeries 2020-09-02 03:59 pm UTC (link)
	But I would argue that if you LIKE someone, the risk feels more worth it than if you don't like them. Like I would absolutely do some crazy shit for the Mighty Nein that I wouldn't do for like...most people. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	secunit 2020-09-02 04:08 pm UTC (link)
	Whether or not a risk is "worth it" is irrelevant, and I have no idea what you're talking about because it's illogical and I am very logical and have never done crazy shit for a human ever in my entire life so there. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	trickeries 2020-09-02 04:50 pm UTC (link)
	Just because you haven't yet doesn't mean you won't ~~everrrr~~ 😏🤗 And I'm a tiefling, so that might even be another point in my favor! (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	secunit 2020-09-02 04:53 pm UTC (link)
	It remains to be determined. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	trickeries 2020-09-02 07:36 pm UTC (link)
	That statement is rife with possibility. 😊😊 (Reply to this) (Parent)

	shadowhand 2020-09-02 04:32 pm UTC (link)
	I believe you have to add in that I have spent a century as an ill-tempered hermit, if you truly want that endorsement to hold any weight. (Reply to this) (Parent)

(Read comments) -