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Larissa Duan, brah ([info]lardo) wrote in [info]valloic,
@ 2021-09-13 11:13:00

Previous Entry  Add to memories!  Tell a Friend!  Next Entry
Entry tags:!: network post, assassin's creed: jacob frye, ₴ inactive: derek nurse, ₴ inactive: jack zimmerman, ₴ inactive: jake pentacost, ₴ inactive: larissa dunn, ₴ inactive: shitty knight

BROS. Bitty gave a shoutout not all that long ago, but this is a reminder that you haven't signed up for hockey and are interested in playing, to let him know. It's wicked fun, no one gives a shit if you haven't played before, just show up ready to work and have a boss ass time.

(But if you're fast as hell, all the better, because ISTG the Elvish Eagles are actual blurs on skates)

As Manager all of the organizational 'stuff' concerning the team falls to me. It's fun because hockey bros are seriously the best bros, and armed with a label maker and a clipboard, I can run the world. Recently, Eric Bittle-Zimmermann, in all of his genius, suggested that the team may need an Assistant Equipment Manager.

(Please note: one can replace our Assistant Manager/Murderer Murderbot, officially the Assistant Manager/Murderer of the team and of our hearts)

After a long brainstorming session over chocolate chip cookies that I think sent me back to the magic of my first Christmas they were that good, we came up with a series of competitions that seem pointless but serve a much deeper meaning and also have an elaborate scoring system.







During the first team conditioning led by the world's favorite NHL player and all around hunk Jack Bittle-Zimmermann, candidates will compete in the following games:

Find the Knife (hint, it's on a Stabbington Bro)
Who is Lying (someone didn't put their equipment away correctly, but who?)
Clipboard Obstacle Couse (self-explanatory)
Sort the Skates (samesies)
What's Missing (30 seconds to look at the locker room equipment and figure out what is missing and who has it)
Hockey Name Hoedown (match each player's hockey name to their picture, in their equipment)
Puck Yeah (an estimation of how many pucks will be needed for practice, along with carrying them out)


The person with the highest score ultimately gets the position and the glory that comes with being Assistant Equipment Manager (including your own personal hockey nickname and a one time beer pong tournament bye to the second round) but we all win because Bitty promised baked goods to all competitors.

Questions, comments, concerns, and compliments may be directed to me.


(Read comments) - (Post a new comment)


[info]shittyknight
2021-09-14 12:27 am UTC (link)
Fuck that, I don't even like pretending not to understand a civil liberty.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]lardo
2021-09-14 12:31 am UTC (link)
Bro, have you ever pretended not to understand a civil liberty?

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]shittyknight
2021-09-14 12:32 am UTC (link)
Every once in a fuckin while, I play the ignorant bro card to have some underclassman show his ass. It's painful, Lards.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]lardo
2021-09-14 12:46 am UTC (link)
Never dull your shine, bro, never fucking dull it.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]shittyknight
2021-09-14 01:03 am UTC (link)
As long as I've got you there to buff it, all good.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]lardo
2021-09-14 01:11 am UTC (link)
That's the plan, bro. <3 Until you get tired of me.

And buffing other things, heyoooooooooo.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]shittyknight
2021-09-14 01:55 am UTC (link)
Forever and always, bro.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]lardo
2021-09-14 02:03 am UTC (link)
Shut up, you're cute.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]shittyknight
2021-09-14 01:19 pm UTC (link)
Just doing my fuckin job, bosslady.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]lardo
2021-09-14 01:31 pm UTC (link)
Your job let you have a free weekend soonish?

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]shittyknight
2021-09-15 03:19 pm UTC (link)
Bro, I'm free whenever I want to be.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]lardo
2021-09-15 03:35 pm UTC (link)
You want to go somewhere that's not the Haus, much as we love it?

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]shittyknight
2021-09-15 03:46 pm UTC (link)
Fuckin A, what do you have in mind?

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]lardo
2021-09-15 03:58 pm UTC (link)
Fancy-shmancy or we go rustic in a cabin, either extreme. I haven't planned anything yet, was going with spontaneity.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]shittyknight
2021-09-16 03:28 am UTC (link)
I'm down with chill, bro. Lawyering has meant more fancy shit than I ever wanted.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]lardo
2021-09-16 03:40 am UTC (link)
Sweet, I'll send you options. You can FaceTime Jack, don't worry. :*

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]shittyknight
2021-09-16 03:45 am UTC (link)
You. Are. The. Fuckin. Best.

(Reply to this) (Parent)

(Read comments) -

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