InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "I'm a lumberjack and I'm okay~"

Larissa Duan, brah (lardo) wrote in valloic,
@ 2021-09-13 11:13:00

Entry tags:

!: network post, assassin's creed: jacob frye, ₴ inactive: derek nurse, ₴ inactive: jack zimmerman, ₴ inactive: jake pentacost, ₴ inactive: larissa dunn, ₴ inactive: shitty knight

BROS. Bitty gave a shoutout not all that long ago, but this is a reminder that you haven't signed up for hockey and are interested in playing, to let him know. It's wicked fun, no one gives a shit if you haven't played before, just show up ready to work and have a boss ass time.

(But if you're fast as hell, all the better, because ISTG the Elvish Eagles are actual blurs on skates)

As Manager all of the organizational 'stuff' concerning the team falls to me. It's fun because hockey bros are seriously the best bros, and armed with a label maker and a clipboard, I can run the world. Recently, Eric Bittle-Zimmermann, in all of his genius, suggested that the team may need an Assistant Equipment Manager.

(Please note: one can replace our Assistant Manager/Murderer Murderbot, officially the Assistant Manager/Murderer of the team and of our hearts)

After a long brainstorming session over chocolate chip cookies that I think sent me back to the magic of my first Christmas they were that good, we came up with a series of competitions that seem pointless but serve a much deeper meaning and also have an elaborate scoring system.

During the first team conditioning led by the world's favorite NHL player and all around hunk Jack Bittle-Zimmermann, candidates will compete in the following games:

Find the Knife (hint, it's on a Stabbington Bro)
Who is Lying (someone didn't put their equipment away correctly, but who?)
Clipboard Obstacle Couse (self-explanatory)
Sort the Skates (samesies)
What's Missing (30 seconds to look at the locker room equipment and figure out what is missing and who has it)
Hockey Name Hoedown (match each player's hockey name to their picture, in their equipment)
Puck Yeah (an estimation of how many pucks will be needed for practice, along with carrying them out)

The person with the highest score ultimately gets the position and the glory that comes with being Assistant Equipment Manager (including your own personal hockey nickname and a one time beer pong tournament bye to the second round) but we all win because Bitty promised baked goods to all competitors.

Questions, comments, concerns, and compliments may be directed to me.

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	lardo 2021-09-13 09:02 pm UTC (link)
	Game of Games ain't for the faint of heart. Aviators are ON, you know I mean business. If I'm trusting someone with the equipment, you gotta be AMAZING. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	yochill 2021-09-13 10:04 pm UTC (link)
	Ch'yeah, of course. I'm with you, Lards. I just have to get my conditioning down so you might have to yell at me if you need something. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	lardo 2021-09-13 10:22 pm UTC (link)
	You'll get it back! Like riding a bike, probs! But I know. I'll need your help for the Spookegster for sure for sure so I don't want to cash in all my help right now. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	$Derek Nurse: DORK: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯$ yochill 2021-09-13 11:04 pm UTC (link)
	I can party plan in my sleep, it's chill. Or on crutches if Jack breaks me. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	lardo 2021-09-13 11:53 pm UTC (link)
	Naaaah, I'm more worried about your ass. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	yochill 2021-09-14 01:47 am UTC (link)
	Rude. My ass is probably the one thing that's still in peak form. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	lardo 2021-09-14 01:59 am UTC (link)
	You better shake what your mamas gave you. Doing a lot of squats at the bookstore? Hold on, lemme grab that book on the lowest shelf for you... (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	yochill 2021-09-14 02:15 am UTC (link)
	Listen, don't judge. I'm not getting up at Masochist O'Clock every morning with Jack. I have to find time to squeeze in extra reps wherever I can. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	lardo 2021-09-14 02:52 am UTC (link)
	I'm not judging! I'm here for it!! You put on some ankle weights and get in some leg lifts, you're in good shape! Carry around the heavier books and then do the deliveries and don't let the cat do it! (Reply to this) (Parent)

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