Roswell, New Mexico In Character

I would like to thank my lovely daughter, Malia, for bailing me out jail this morning.

Who knew that the good people of Roswell would be so upset by someone re-enacting their winning strip tease on a stop sign pole?

Malia, I owe you dinner and half my winnings from last night, as agreed.

Although this is going to hurt the business, as of right now, The Crashdown Cafe will no longer be selling milkshakes. It has been discovered that they are what is causing people to change genders. If you drank a milkshake today before the time of this post, expect that to happen. I'm heading down there after I post this to get samples for testing from the milkshake machine and ice cream so we can find out why this is happening and how fix it.

This is such a quaint little desert town to vacation in, even if I wasn't planning on being right this moment.

My only complaint so far, is the lack of amenities at our arrival point. Would it be that much of an issue to have some chairs, maybe an umbrella or two to help keep people relax and stay out of the sun while waiting for our tour guides? Maybe even a cooler or two of bottled water?

The hospitality is lacking a bit there at the beginning.

Okay, so.

This still isn't the worst field trip I could've wound up taking.