Gavin Lucas (viciouscircle) wrote in shadows_rpg, @ 2020-09-18 22:29:00 |
|
|||
Entry tags: | #april 2018, #group scene, aaron, amelia, caden, charlie, ethan, gavin, jules, kat, mila, roxy |
Who: Gavin, Charlie, a whole bunch of Lucases, Jules and Ethan
Where: Green Street
When: Saturday April 28th
It took a while for Gavin to realize that there could be good days and even longer still to feel like he deserved any of them. When Amelia had gone missing she'd only been gone for two weeks but Jasper's absence stretched and stretched from weeks into months. Bridget wanted a funeral for him and Joseph but Gavin hadn't even reported them missing when it happened. For anyone outside of the family it was just two Lucases who'd fucked off out of town and that was all they got to know. The longer time stretched out the more he wondered if he was wrong about that. Maybe they needed a funeral, maybe they needed to say goodbye.
He'd decided to give it a year at least because even if all logic told him his son was dead - and less importantly so was his father - he still didn't feel it in his bones like he thought he should. He should know if Jasper wasn't alive, he should have some fatherly instinct that told him to let go but it just wasn't there. He'd cleaned up his act a little bit - if only for Amelia and Charlie - but he was still drinking too much and smoking too much. The only difference was that now started a little later in the day and actually showered on the regular. Everything was changing and he felt like he was standing still in the middle of the whirlwind, just watching it all rush by.
Their house was on the market. He still wasn't so sure it was a good idea but they'd decided to move in with Charlie. He just needed to kick his feelings of inadequacy to the curb and stop whining about how he wasn't good enough for her. Amelia was happy with it, she'd gotten a job and after a lengthy talk with his lawyer, she'd declared herself bankrupt. She didn't own anything, she was young, the hospital bills would go away and Gavin didn't need to sell the house but he didn't take it off the market. Plans had been made and this way he could contribute more in his life and leave something behind for his ladies if his drinking or this dark town decided to take him away from them.
It was a sunny day in April when he decided that, should the weather allow for it, he'd have a barbeque at Green Street one last time the following Saturday. The whole family was invited, of course and since Joseph wasn't there to cause problems, that included Bridget. Kat was back in town so the more the merrier and he sent a text to Jules as well, inviting her to drop by. He didn't think she'd be overly interested in spending all day with his whole family but it felt only right and he made sure to tell her she could just drop in, didn't need to stay longer, just come on by and have a good meal. Bring someone if she wanted! Otherwise Amelia would keep her company of course, she wasn't about to sit alone in some corner feeling awkward. Maybe it was weird how much he thought of her as family. She wasn't having his grandchild, he'd helped make sure of that, but she was one of the last connections he still had to Jasper and he loved her in his own way which meant, obviously, feeding her at a family bbq. He half expected her to say no and was pleasantly surprised when she didn't.
It almost felt normal, cooking up a storm and hearing his family arriving one by one - or two by two more accurately. Gavin did his best to keep afloat, this had been his idea and he didn't want to come off as a depressed bastard. His grief was settling into weird melancholy anyway, it was a little easier to smile these days.