Ridgeway Resort - Network Comm

( TVD Spoilers. Elena is devastated. )

[Former Inhabitants of Mystic Falls]

I'm sorry. But you understand why I had to do what I did.

I constantly tell myself I wont look at fanfiction anymore....and then I do. And now I feel ill all over again.

( The Vampire Diaries Spoilers under the cut. Cue furious Elena. )

Allow me to impart a small piece of wisdom: it is generally considered unwise to provoke an Original unless you intend to kill*.

*This will require a better plan than a quiver of wooden arrows.

[Elena]

Thank you, Elena. I appreciate the thoughtful gesture. I hope you've enjoyed your Easter as well.

As flattered as I am by this unsolicited offer of employment, there is an urgent matter requiring my attention. I am going to have to insist on leaving, if you would be so kind.

Spending the day in bed. If anyone needs me, it can wait until tomorrow. This includes anything having to do with the restaurant.

The only exception is my sister.

Lily Luna, I'm going to come over to talk to you soon, probably in the next couple of days, and you are coming to Teddy's party.

It's way easier to hunt with a gun or something. I'm just sayin'.

My wedding is less than a month away and one of my bridesmaids is MIA and one was sent home. Lexi, are you here and in the wedding or not?! I have yet to have a bridal shower or a bachelorette party

Oh ya, Bonnie. Old!You knew this. You're a bridesmaid, deal with it :) The color is aqua, order an aqua dress that looks sexy on you.

Katherine, Dom, please tell me you've ordered your dresses.

Oh god I don't even have my dress ordered yet. Excuse me while I hyperventilate and go throw up again due to stress.

Petersen, the one thing I love about you is the fact that you still have all the movies that are in the movie theater's back home playing here.

With that being said, I'm going to go see SCREAM 4! That's right, sweet, innocent little Elena is a horror move fanatic! Ghostface was the stuff my nightmares were made of as a child. The movie came out when I was 3....but I saw Scream for the first time when I was 7 due to an irresponsible babysitter. I totally hid in Jeremy's closet who was 5 and talked to him as 'Ghostface'. I think it traumatized him. What's your favorite scary movie, Jere? ;D

Anyway, yes. I'm going and seeing Scream 4. Resident movie buff Anthony DiNozzo is going with me. Who else wants to go see this epic bloodbath?

( The vampires were all RWAAAH and you were like AHHHH (aka TVD Spoilers) )

Does the homunculus "Phoebe" belong to anyone here?

[sorry, backdated to monday night because fission mail, is why]

( Private to Elena et al. )

[Private to the Management]

To whom it may concern,

The precedents set before me suggest it would be a pointless exercise to express any malcontent with respect to your unorthodox recruitment procedure. Thus, I shall dispense with the routine unpleasantries. I confess, I find myself inexplicably drawn to this place and for that reason, I am willing to place myself in your employ without contention—under certain conditions. My wants are few and my needs are more than satisfied by your generous accommodation. I have no use for currency here. Accordingly, I ask only that my work be compensated in the form of information, when and if I require it.

I trust that the terms set forth herein are not outrageous. Should you find them acceptable, you will have yourself a pianist as soon as you require one.

Elijah

[Private to Elena Gilbert]
Hello, Elena. I trust you can read this message. I thought it may interest you to know that I had the most lovely conversation with Miss Dominique Weasley last night. You and I, too, have much to discuss. Please be so kind as to make your way to the stables this midnight. I encourage you to put to use your proven talent in subterfuge to ensure discretion in this matter. No escorts.

I am phrasing this as a request out of courtesy. But do not mistake my meaning. Your company has crossed me twice already. I do not advise you to try a third. If I so much as smell anyone else approach, heads will roll. If you fail to comply, heads will roll. That is a promise. And unlike you, I keep my promises.