Ridgeway Resort - Network Comm

You all can keep your Father's Day. Me? I'm celebrating Not A Father's Day. How do you celebrate Not A Father's Day, you may ask? Why, by getting drunk, going to the movies, and generally doing all the fun things you can't do with a baby. It's awesome.

[OOC: Assuming Damon's birthday is the 18th here too. Didn't have time to post it yesterday.]

( Left on Damon's pillow )

Ah, shit. Just effing perfect.

Come on, Zach. Come out, come out, wherever you are. I'm not going to kill you again or anything.

I....I saw my parents Grayson and Miranda. I woke up and they were at the foot of my bed. They were SMILING at me!! And then they turned and walked away.

Mom? Dad? Where are you?! I have so much to tell you!!

Um....

Somebody just left me $10,000.....

Thank you mysterious money giver :)

[Stefan and Damon]

Was it either of you?

It's Thursday night and I'm sober? I don't know what to do with myself.

Thank god for the summer hiatus.

While I'm sad the honeymoon is over, it is good to be back home with Bonnie, Katherine, Damon and Brooke. Thanks for taking care of the pets guys. I don't know if I should be amused or jealous that Hershey is all over my husband with his licky kisses of doom. Stefan you still love me most, right?

Jere? Come over for dinner one night yes? Isobel, Alaric that invitation extends to you as well.

We're half way through Season 2 now...

Woah. Intense, much?

[Filtered; Damon Salvatore]

Those other girls - Elena and Kat? - they were completely crazy! I mean, Stefan's a great guy, but... if I was given the choice... I would choose you, hands down.

Going to the chapel and we're gonna married!

[Filtered; Damon Salvatore]

I MADE A DRESS FOR ELENA FOR THE RECEPTION AND SHE LOVES IT AND SHE'S GOING TO WEAR IT AND I'M SO FREAKING EXCITED!

How was your day, baby? (I'm not really interested, I just wanted to squee about the dress but then I thought that would look rude if I didn't seem interested in you too, because you're clearly very special. <3)

So... we finished Season 1 of The Vampire Diaries. Woah. Intense much? With the fire and killing and the rawr and the kissing and the OMG THAT'S KAT!

(filtered to Damon)
So... I think I've seen the worst now, right? You came from the end of Season 1?

If you were wondering, Yes, I'm still your girlfriend. And Yes, I do still like you. And No, there's no way in Hell I'm leaving you...

If you'll have me, that is. I'm totally not being clingy...

So most everyone's grown back up again. Great. Nice one, Petersen. A real laugh riot. Change me back, you dickface.

At least it wasn't more zombies.

(filtered to Kat)
So I was thinking... I think I need to watch your show. I'm so in the dark right now. I know I could be used as leverage against you and Damon, so I don't want to make it easy for them just because I've never seen the show.

Kat... I'd really like you to watch it with me. I know you didn't want to watch it, but I don't want to watch it alone. I know I'm going to see things I don't like about Damon, and you, but it would be so much easier if you were there with me...


(filtered to Damon)
I'm going to watch your show, baby... I was thinking, with Elijah here, and you all worried about this Klaus guy turning up, it's a bit stupid for me to have no idea what's going on. I don't want to put any of you guys in danger... especially not you.

Is... that alright?

[Stefan, Damon, Bonnie, Brooke and Katherine aka the Cabin 20 crew and Jeremy too because he's her baby brobro]

Two Things:

1. Pedophile Peewee Herman is here. He creeps me out. Even as a kid his show creeped me out. I was convinced and still am that he was a child molester. If he is still here when Alexia is born, I'm leaving it to you Damon and you Stefan to go all father and uncle ass kicking on him.

2. For our newly turned and in certain cases--adorable new humans--I have made a feast tonight. Especially since Katherine hasn't partaken in modern day food. On the menu tonight we have:

1. Steak topped with blue cheese butter
2. Baked potato with butter, sour cream and shredded cheese
3. Caesar Salad
4. Booze. Lots and lots of booze--for you guys--I'm drinking a Shirley Temple.

So...enjoy guys :) Katherine--I expect you to at least try some of the food, please? You too Damon Salvatore. I'm pregnant, cranky and the playing fields are leveled now so I have a better shot at kicking your ass if I have to :) Brooke will let me. She saw me hard at work in the kitchen for the past 3 hours.

( Stefan )

( Stefan, Elena, and Brooke )

(filtered to Damon)
Are you alright, boyfriend? I know you were worried about big ass scary vampire dude.

(filtered to Elena)
Was it you that left the locket bracelet in Damon's room? Is the herby stuff in the locket bit?

(filtered to Bonnie)
Hey new roomie! How's it going?

( What the hell?! )

[Petersen]

Excuse me, um...sir? I'm trying very hard not to yell at you right now. You just brought somebody from my world who wants to kill me. He is more dangerous to me than Lucius Malfoy ever was. He's a danger to my friends as well. As it is I'm in the hospital from shock at his arrival. You're damn lucky I didn't miscarry my baby!

So...I would like to demand request you move Brooke Davis into Room B of Cabin 20 with Damon. Brooke is Damon's girlfriend and therefore somebody that Elijah can easily target. I understand that sometimes you can make more than one roon in a Cabin a couples room. I request that you do that for me, please. Damon is staying in our cabin and Brooke is staying wtih him.

Futhermore, Katherine Pierce, my ancestor is also in danger. We are the two people Elijah want dead above all else. I would like to request you move Katherine into the empty room in our Cabin. Room D.

I simply want my friends to be where I can keep them safe. It's bad enough my brother is in another Cabin. Unless you care to give us a house like you gave the Winchesters, Cas and Jo. Otherwise, please move those two into my cabin immediately.

Please?

I think it is a reasonable request given the circumstances. Look, I even said 'Please'.

[Filtered to The Vampire Diaries people MINUS Elijah]

I'm still in the hospital. The morons wont let me go home. Stefan, tell them to let me go home! And in case anyone is wondering, the baby is fine. Thank god.

For those of you who don't know...Elijah is here. I'm convinced that Petersen has it in for Damon and I. He keeps bringing people here that hate us.

Katherine, pack your bags, I'm going to request that Petersen move you in with us. Pronto. There is no way in hell you're staying where I can't keep an eye on you and ensure you're safe. He cannot under any circumstances know that the moonstone is here.

Jeremy, I still have some vervain jewelry I got from Christmas, I'll give you some for your roommate. Maybe you should crash on my couch for awhile. I don't like the idea of you being where I can't know you're safe....

Damon, I told Petersen that he is moving Brooke into your room with you. She's in danger. She's important to you, so Elijah could go after her. I can give her some vervain jewelry too so he cant compel her to invite him into the house.

It's only a matter of time before Petersen decides to bring Klaus here. I know that now.

Well...Damon, at least we know what that chill was yesterday, right? Fuck our life dude. Just fuck our life.

Isobel, Alaric, are you two going to be alright? You DID try to kill him in our world Alaric, so...that's going to make him awful sore. Isobel...I honestly have no clue if you ever met him...but he can pose a threat to you as well. Is there anything you need?

Anna, Lexi, Lee--it appears he's your roommate. I don't THINK you're in any immediate danger, but please let us know if you need ANYTHING.

Vicki, I don't know if you've continued to watch the show and have knowledge about what is going on back home, but this man is very, very dangerous. Stay away from him. Far, far away.

Bonnie, no taking him on. Stay away from him.I don't know if the brain melting thing actually works on an Original. And NO, you aren't going to find out.

[Filtered to any NON TVD people who consider Elena a friend or an ally]

There is a very dangerous man here from my world. A vampire who wishes to see me dead. I urge every single one of you to please be careful.

Sirius, Dom...Petersen brought Elijah. It's only a matter of time before he decides to bring Klaus. Please be careful. Don't do anything stupid.

Laura, for the time being, it's probably best I don't watch the babies. I would never forgive myself if he managed to get in the house while I was keeping an eye on them.

[Private to Damon]

I really don't want to do this.

I do this for Elena and only for Elena.

Tell me everything you know about vampires, especially Elijah, so I can find a spell to keep him away from Elena.