Project Papillon [Network]

Well, that was fun.


( Jane )

So, I detected, with my awesome detective skills, that I'm a detective.

Or, you know, I woke up at what's apparently my desk. At a police station.

Anyone else wake up with handy clues as to who the heck they are?

I'm trapped in a box!

Only it's not a box and it's much bigger on the inside than the outside and I don't know what it is but things aren't supposed to work like that.

I was outside and there was this thing! And it had tentacles on it's face! And I ran away and ran into a blue box that apparently wasn't a box. And now I'm stuck.

And I don't know who I am! I think aliens did something!

Help?

Judging by the evidence, I'm a man who likes his bananas. Also, his pockets. And putting up cabinets? I can't imagine another reason for having a sonic screwdriver, although it seems to have a few extra settings. Interesting, that.

Right. So. To regroup.

I have this phone... thing. It connects to some sort of message board where I can read all of the posts other people are making, and respond if I want. But nobody else near where I woke up has one. Just me.

Which begs the question... anybody out there also in the circus? Or near the circus? Something? Anything?

Maybe this will help? I seem to be having some sort of weird blackout. I'm drunk, I think. I don't feel drunk, but I just woke up in a bar with a half-finished drink and... well. I can't seem to remember what my name is. Or what this place is.

We'll start simple. Does anyone know my name?

Excuse me?

I'm a bit confused.

It's just that I have no idea where I am. Or who I am.

And neither does my girlfriend. I think she's my girlfriend, since we woke up together.

Is anyone else having this problem. Or can someone tell me what's going on?

As if just being here wasn't enough, I now apparently have a job as a goddamn cop.

I hate this place.

Right then.

No cause for alarm or anything but, well, I seem to have misplaced Frankenstein's monster. I don't suppose anybody has seen him about? Tall bloke, bit green, large screws sticking out of areas where they shouldn't? Quite a conversationalist if you take the time to listen to him.

I do hope he hasn't left the city yet...

Where the hell is my mummy?

If one of you bastards took him, you better hope I don't find you.

Sometimes I feel like nobody fucking understands me. I'm alone in the big, wide universe.

Fuck. I need some more chocolate.

I've never really understood the preoccupation with Halloween. I mean, there's candy and you dress up in odd outfits and, all right...that does sound a bit brilliant, but it doesn't warrant the excitement people seem to have for it.

Now, Christmas. That's a holiday. Presents. Decorations. Invasions. Who could ask for more?

Who do we call for clean up in the city?

I freaking hate zombies.

Anyone else starting to get the rats in a maze feeling? Like we're in some kind of fishbowl, and big brother's watching...

I don't know about the rest of you yahoots, but I'm not going to sit around here and twiddle my thumbs. They say Halloween's when the veil between worlds is the thinnest.

We'll find out if that's true, then. Adios, kids. I'm outta here.

Okay. Enough is enough. Halloween's tomorrow, right? Yeah. So I figure all these assorted ghouls are going to go away after that. But until then? We need to make sure the city's safe for the kids to go trick or treating.

I haven't seen many kids. Definitely more bad cult movie monsters out there, than there are kids. Doesn't matter. I'm going to do something about it, and all you self righteous idjits can form a line to take it up with me, after I deal with the monsters terrorising the city.

A little help would be appreciated. I'm looking at you, Sam.

Okay, that's it. I've got a shit-ton of questions and someone better give me some answers, or someone's getting pistol-whipped.

Question one: Is this hell?

Question two: If no, where am I? Am I alive?

Question three: If yes, has anyone seen a turian with blue facial markings? I need to punch him in the face or hug him. I haven't decided which yet.

Question four: Why are there things that look like a bad supernatural romance movie extras wandering around, and do I need to kill them?