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[Feb. 13th, 2011|08:59 pm] |
*putters around his boyfriend's kitchen in the late morning, waiting for said boyfriend to get back from his therapist's office* *was very happy when Jackie mentioned he had this appointment, actually—it's just another sign he's trying to keep the new and improved him... well, improved*
*has pancakes and bacon in full swing when he hears the front door open* *calls out* Hope you're hungry, food's almost done. Do you want eggs? |
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[Feb. 12th, 2011|02:14 pm] |
| [ | Tags | | | &erestor&merry, &estella&salgant, &gandalf&marende, &vendore&yere, @doriath:vendore's, @gondolin:erestor's, erestor, estella, gandalf, marende, merry, salgant, vendore, yere | ] |
| [ | Mood |
| |  busy | ] |
*on the run-up to her holiday, is a blur of activity, sprinkling a little love and tenderness into as many little hearts as possible before the big day!*
*spends some time dreaming up the perfect gifts for the family, as it were: a bottle of wine for Manwë, along with an embossed note reminding him to get the red and white camellias for Varda; a similar bottle and note for Aulë (but she suggests a home for orphaned bunnies instead of flowers); for Irmo and Estë, warm fuzzy slippers and tea-candies galore; a dozen rabbit hearts hence the bunny home for Oromë, poor thing, and she doesn't know how or what to send to Vána but maybe next year hopefully?* *never has any clue what to get for Námo and Nienna, so that'll be a gift card* *annnnd for Yérë, she has chocolate, daffodils, and a nice friendly card with the words BEHAVE YOURSELF printed inside*
*also arranges for special deliveries of candy hearts to those most deserving of their saccharine messages (i.e., those who will hate them the most)* *hmph!* |
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| [be kind, rewind] |
[Dec. 27th, 2010|08:02 pm] |
[Ashes, ashes, pocket full of posies, snapshots of a life in nightmares;
He opens his dream-eyes wide, swallows his first clean breath beyond the dream-walls;
So the fragments bind, the reel flies anew, and he must return to the beginning (to there begin again).] |
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[Nov. 13th, 2010|01:15 pm] |
*wakes up one morning and, upon seeing the snowglobe glittering prettily on the bedside table, decides it's time to reach past Menegroth's safe, closed walls*
*dials his aunt and spends a good hour on the phone, surprising himself with how light he feels once he hangs up (he hadn't expected to laugh so much, maybe—was Carol always this funny, or is it the simple relief of hearing her voice again?)*
*is still riding the high when he hits the next speed-dial, almost without thinking* |
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[Sep. 1st, 2010|07:14 pm] |
*loiters on a bench at the train station with Carol and Jackie Lee, waiting to see the latter off to Delving*
*can't think of a single cheering thing to say, when the reality is that he probably won't see his lover again for some time* *keeps silent but vigilant contact instead, stroking the nape of Jackie 's neck and occasionally trading comments with Carol* |
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[Aug. 28th, 2010|03:46 pm] |
*stirs awake slowly and peacefully, becoming aware by inches that he is not alone* *first recognizes the solid warmth tucked at his back, the arm draped over his middle, and dimly recalls Doc being here last* *...also vaguely remembers completely losing his mind at some point along the way*
*exhales* *eventually pries his eyes open, blinking against the light, and only then notices the other presence in the room* *experiences a flicker of half-formed recognition, prompting him to swallow a few times and try out his voice* H... hello?. |
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[Aug. 24th, 2010|07:53 pm] |
*remains oblivious to all of the activity around him, from tubes and needles to visitors and mainstays, and even the presence of two Valar isn't enough to shake him from his chemically-induced sleep*
*drags his eyes open a few times in the middle of the (second) night and mumbles a few nonsensical words on the morning of the third day* *tumbles into dark dreams after each glimmer of consciousness, but is ushered clear in short order (shh, sleep easy)*
*blinks and inhales deeply sometime in the late afternoon, not quite aware he's awake until he hears movement somewhere to his left* *tries to turn his head, instinctively seeking the source (hello?)* |
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[Aug. 6th, 2010|08:32 pm] |
[Life becomes less a continuous reel and more a series of snapshots;
Scenes and sounds so vivid as to be dreams (except he doesn't remember sleeping);
Fragments of a life, or a dreamed life, but he may not know the difference.] |
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[Aug. 4th, 2010|12:30 am] |
*twenty-one minutes and one breakneck drive through the mountains later, rips around the corner onto Carol's street*
*slams the pickup into park and jumps out, leaving the door ajar and the keys in the ignition, his heart in his throat as he takes in the swarm of flashing lights and the gathering flock of neighbors* *sprints past the gawkers and skids to a stop in front of the first officer he sees* Where's Jackie? —Jackson Taberer? His aunt lives here, he called me—what's going on?
*off the man's non-answer (sir, I need you to stay back until it's all clear), immediately pushes past and cranes his neck for a glimpse of his ex-lover's familiar shape, or a less-familiar but recognizable small-aunt shape* *dodges the officer's attempts to herd him back, calling out a little desperately* Jackie? Carol?! |
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[Jul. 27th, 2010|07:41 pm] |
*goes home to his shithole apartment, half-drunk and fuming* *grabs the half-empty bottle next to the TV, first thing, and flips the tube on*
*swigs in mostly-silence for the last ten minutes of some dumb sitcom, the liquor doing nothing to calm him (when his arm aches and he can still feel that skinny faggot's weight on him)* *keeps replaying it over and over in his mind: Mae Ellen sticking up for Jackie fucking Lee, and her letting her dickhead of a husband kick him, Joe, out on his ass* *he didn't mean to, goddammit, stupid bitch should know better by now*
*snarls and throws the empty bottle across the room to smash against the far wall* If this were fucking Chetcombe and I fucking knew where you lived, Jack-a-lene...! *belches and gives a wordless snarl of rage, scrubbing his hand off on his shirt in disgust* Fucking fag, don't touch me...
*out of the corner of his eye, catches the light glinting off the purple-stone necklace dangling from the shelves [least he don't go around shaming his daddy]* *squints hard at that thin golden chain, some vague memory niggling for attention* *...*
*pushes to his feet, grabs something from behind the TV and heads out, slamming the door behind him* |
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[Jun. 21st, 2010|07:37 pm] |
| [ | Tags | | | &duilin&ecthelion, &ecthelion&estella, &ecthelion&glorfindel, &erestor&merry, &estella&glorfindel, &estella&merry, @gondolin, danielle, duilin, ecthelion, erestor, estella, georgia, glorfindel, merry | ] |
| [ | Mood |
| |  excited | ] |
*on the eve of Danielle's last show at the Cat's Eye, spends a good two hours flailing around the house with her roomies, dolling up to absolute perfection (favorite emerald-green strapless mini, check! favorite red four-inchers, check!)* *it's a big deal, after all—the last of their trio is finally getting out of the biz for good, and they're going to have extra (special) company along for the ride!* *is determined to be excited about this, yes, because any alternative will have her drowning some degree of mortification in booze which is a distinct possibility anyway*
*some hours later, finds herself thoroughly ensconced within the club's booming-bass, smoking-neon atmosphere* *procured a table right up by the stage, of course, so they'll have a great view of the main event* *in the meantime, makes herself busy by keeping her dress tugged up/down, ignoring former clients' curious stares, and maintaining a semblance of sobriety* *...is having a bit more luck with the first two* |
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[Jun. 16th, 2010|09:01 pm] |
*is out walking the invisible cat, leaving his boyfriend to have a talk with Glorfindel* *can't help but be a little hurt, but is making a supreme effort to muscle that down right quick; Glorfindel's known Jackie a helluva lot longer, and it's not like he, Doc, is having any kind of luck* *which hurts, too*
*doesn't know where to go, really, but figures he might as well wander a circuit around the biggest landmark nearby—the House of the Fountain, looming large and pristine just a block or two away* *heads in that direction, nice and easy, enjoying the lazy, sunny-Saturday weather for all that it's a feeble distraction from his worry*
*eventually comes within view of the House's back end, where the green lawns and glittering fountains catch his eye* *smiles at the thought that this truly is such an Elvish city (a place past any simple Halfling's understanding, even if they're all a collection of plain janes these days, Elf and hobbit alike)*
*hears a loud, pitch-perfect whistle and, in answer, a dog's rambunctious barking* *follows the sounds curiously, if only because he has nothing else to do* |
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[Jun. 12th, 2010|08:35 pm] |
*on Saturday afternoon, following a very pleasant morning spent with his husband, including a nice breakfast in a little place off the beaten track, with outside seating where it seemed perfectly acceptable to bring their dog, decides to visit Erestor*
*hopes enough time has passed that Erestor has absorbed what has happened (and how it is support) and figures that, really, he cannot stay away any longer than this*
*makes his way to Erestor's house and knocks on the door, rocking on the balls of his feet and brimming with cheer, because the weather is fine, his cast is off and he is happy* |
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[Jun. 8th, 2010|08:13 pm] |
*has had an... interesting week even discounting the part he's ignoring*
*is glad Doc's felt well enough to ambush him for lunch the past four days, but it's a little hard to ignore food and catch up on the work backlog when there's an adorable and well-meaning boyfriend at the door* *strongly suspects Esther had something to do with this*
*and then there was today, which started with the usual morning hassles and (literal) headache, and ended with himself and Ecthelion closeted in the latter's office for an unofficial catch-up* (*which might have been the most exhausting part of Ecthelion's vacation, actually*)
*gets home and collapses on the couch, throwing his arm over his face* *pre-emptively* No, I'm not hungry, and I'm never moving again. Ever. |
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[Apr. 3rd, 2010|09:04 pm] |
*by the second night of Doc's stay, has realized how truly fucked he is*
*it's not so much the wide-eyed up-down Doc gives him when he (reluctantly) undresses to get them both into the shower (god, Jackie, I wasn't kidding about the grass diet), or the somewhat confused blink when he (hastily) pulls his clothes on afterward (do you want to watch TV, or...?)*
*it isn't even the new (conscious) recklessness with which he's plowed through his work the past two days, because he can't bear to leave anything undone but he has to get home; hourly check-in calls to Doc just aren't enough (I could have lost him)*
*no, the reality check comes in the form of zombie-exhaustion, faint hand-tremors and a blinding headache, after a restless night sans helpful chill-pill (the first time he's skipped in... two weeks? three?)* *couldn't bring himself to sneak one down (only addicts sneak) with Doc sleeping lightly in the bed next to him, but he does know one thing now: he won't make it another night without*
*is truly, inescapably fucked* |
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[Mar. 26th, 2010|10:06 pm] |
*is carefully deposited on his couch, where he immediately slumps back into the people-eating cushions and blinks at the late afternoon sunlight streaming through the window* *mumbles* Feels weird bein' home so early. Like. Really weird.
*wrinkles his nose and forces a yawn, sighing grumpily* Ears're still ringing. *directs a woeful (if somewhat unfocused) look up at his transportation for the day* So much for the spotless record, huh? |
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[Mar. 3rd, 2010|09:05 pm] |
*early one weeknight, comes to the astonishing realization that he's completely caught up with work, schoolwork, and the quick extra credit he's been doing to pad his grades* *can only conclude it's down to the extra four to five hours of sleep he's gotten every other night, thanks to the magical chill pills he swore he'd never use* *of course, the non-pill nights tend to leave him restless and exhausted in the morning, but he's gotten better at scheduling around those days*
*briefly entertains the idea of going out with Edrahil and Mac and the gang, just because he hasn't done so in weeks (even the last Secondmoot was canceled, between the weather and conflicting schedules)* *stares at his phone for several minutes, though, and the only person he actually wants to talk to is a country away (which is too depressing a thought on such a good? night)*
*gives up and heads out to drive aimlessly in search of occupation, finally coming to roost at a quiet little pub halfway across town* *takes a seat up at the bar, orders a beer, and rests his cheek against his knuckles, resigning himself to a fairly empty night alone* |
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[Feb. 13th, 2010|07:06 pm] |
*would be spending Vendórë's Day in Gondolin, with the boyfriend, but changing his schedule involved picking up the holiday shift* *instead, makes other arrangements by phone*
*feels a little guilty about leaving Gandalf to his own devices for most of the day, until he's reassured (reminded?) that "a wizard is never without his own devices, Meriadoc Brandybuck!"* *well, all righty then!*
*gets back home around suppertime and flits about the house, full of excited energy, eyeballs practically glued to the clock, until Gandalf (laughingly) persuades him to do something productive before he punches holes through the ceiling* *to that end... bakes!*
*is making good progress on some scratch cookie dough when his mobile goes off* Crap, crap. *waves his floury hands at his houseguest, rather frantically* Pick it up pick it up—! |
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[Jan. 29th, 2010|12:13 am] |
*goes home Sunday evening, and is in such a terrible mood that he begs off the planned baking party with Hil's kids* *it's just that he can't take four steps without remembering Theo's "pet" mouse (oh, how Estella screeched), or Wynnie losing her first tooth, or Perry and Pippin making faces at each other through the window*
*finally throws himself in bed when he can't stand to be awake anymore, but is jolted from his sleep by the worst nightmare he's had in years (or possibly ever)* *and some part of him is grimly satisfied with the memory of a glinting blade sinking into that Shadowy leg (the scrape of metal on metal, the shock of cold and pain lashing up his arm)... but another part would give anything to go back to plain, simple Doc Brandt*
*the next morning, calls Dill and jockeys schedules around, then calls his reliable third cousin at the travel agency* *one hastily packed bag and several hours of drowsy, restless train- and taxi-travel later, finds himself at his boyfriend's door, completely unannounced and utterly drained* |
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[Jan. 4th, 2010|07:31 pm] |
*jerks out of a sound sleep, breathing hard, tangled up in chilled, sweaty sheets* *stares blankly at the wall, disoriented for a good five seconds (do the shadows always cast that way?) until a soft noise from behind grounds him back in reality (Doc)*
*lies utterly still, one hand clenched in the pillow under his head, and tries to force his pulse to slow, his breathing to even out* *swallows hard around a surge of despair nausea as images flicker unbidden across his mind's eye, memories and sensation twisted into the same old nightmare; and on some level, yes, he thought he was safe here, away from it all*
*curls up a little (as one does when gutted) and listens to the wind sweeping over the rooftop, staring bleakly at the clock (2:34am... 2:35am... 2:36am)* *not for the first time, wonders if he shouldn't ask Duilien for some of those tranqs* |
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melancholy
groggy
sore