Las Vegas Network

[SWEENEY]

I'm still mad at you, for the record. But I thought it might brighten your day to know that I've found my combat armour.

I helped a few people get to safety, but I'm pinned down right now. There are still quite a few fighters out there and I can't get past them. I mean it's not like they can hurt me physically but

I got woken up at the crack of dawn and found myself in some sort of barracks. The guys who slept in the bunks either side of me know my name and act like they've known me for years. I feel like I would remember them, if I knew them - I'm not in the habit of losing my memory suddenly. When I demanded to know where the hell I was, they laughed at me and thought I'd had too much of the secret stash of moonshine. Told me to move fast, or I'd miss breakfast. I've got a boss, I've got a job - I've even got a uniform. Apparently, I'm part of the military in this place too, or at least they think I am.

But I remember how everything looked outside when I went to sleep, and it doesn't look the same now. We got any theories?

[MIRANDA]

Are you alright? Where are you?

The woman I woke up with this morning looks just like she crawled into bed from straight out of the grave she's been rotting in for the last twenty years. Not that anything around here looks much better, actually, and here I thought I had already seen the shittiest of shitholes. Beatrix, the woman who looks dead and isn't, tells me I've been a bouncer here for years and that I probably did too much jet last night or I'd definitely remember what a great time she showed me. Nice lady, other than being the most hideous, fucking delusional thing I've ever seen. Ain't gonna be winning any singing competitions, either, having a voice like sandpaper the way she does. She's what you call a ghoul, according to her, something about heavy radiation. Too early for me to make any sense of it beyond that.

So here we are, Beatrix the whore ghoul and me, sitting at the bar at 8 in the goddamned morning with Thor, his hammer, and some glowing soda we probably shouldn't be drinking and I'm starting to wonder more about what this jet shit is because it sounds a hell of a lot like something I might not mind getting my hands on sometime soon but Beatrix says I'll need caps for that. Fucking bottlecaps is what they want, how the hell does that even work? And she looked at me like I was the crazy one. Christ, this place. Has anyone been by the Mandalay?

Laura

Where are you?

Shep

Where are you?

Feels a bit weird to say this, considering, but if anyone needs any legal assistance I'm not really doing anything else here.

Out of everything we've had thrown at us, that was the weirdest yet. Wasn't as bad as my actual childhood, though, so I'll hold off on finding the person who is responsible and punching them - for now.

[SWEENEY]

You didn't have to do all that, you know.

I found a way onto the roof of the Luxor anyone want to come?

Ohhhhhh, where am I? You can't find me! You'll never find me!

[MIRANDA & WREX]

Everyone's gone. (...) Garrus, Grunt, Aria... they're just gone.

Shepard

What are the odds you might let me crash on the Normandy for a little while?

Laura

Hell of a view, isn't it? If a fresh pile of shit hits the fan while you're still busy thinking about fuck knows what I'll meet you up there.

I never thought I'd see the States. It looks nothing like the photos although it's probably worth mentioning that the latest pictures I've seen of this place (not really specifically this place but the country in general) were taken decades ago. Suppose I'll know what to expect if ever I get home and choose to vacation here when I'm 66.

I'm Peter. It's been almost a week now that I've been here. From what I've read I can expect to be here much longer. I understand that I shouldn't throw myself at the barrier but I'm open to any other advice that might make my stay here easier.

If anyone's thinking of setting this place ablaze I ask that you give it a couple days. Taking the stairs with this ankle's going to be a real son of a bitch.

Whoever came up with the idea for the massive party hit the spot. Always a great night when I get to sing.

Since we all seem to be getting good news in the form of gifts, I thought I'd share some more good news. Caroline and I are planning a party to properly celebrate the disappearance of the poppies, and everyone is invited! We'll be having it outside by the pool on this coming Friday, and any contributions or assistance are very much appreciated. We all deserve a chance to relax, take a few moments to breathe and properly enjoy ourselves.

[MASS EFFECT UNIVERSE]

Anyone get nice gifts?

Now that there's no poppies, I've been looking around more. Trying to find a good watering hole is hard word.

I'm going to head out and check the other hotels to make sure the poppies are gone. Any volunteers to help?

It's a damn relief to see those flowers gone. Not that wearing all the armour is a problem, I do it each time I leave the Normandy when I am away on missions, but didn't think it would be so helpful on Earth. Anyone feel like a bit of celebrating is in order?

[MASS EFFECT UNIVERSE]

If you go outside, I recommend full protective gear. That pollen is getting serious, and we can't take any chances. If any of you don't have, there's plenty of extra gear in the Normandy's lockers.

We have had a lot of new arrivals lately and some people asking for help so I think it's time to hold another self-defense seminar. Everyone is welcome to attend. If you are interested in lending a hand to teach, let me know.

[Riverdale kids]

I expect to see you kids at the seminar. We'll still continue working one-on-one but this will be some extra practice. Plus if other people volunteer to help teach, you'll likely see some different techniques.

Okay who decided that this was a good idea? I have things to do....