Roswell, New Mexico In Character

To all you amazing people who have been dropped here against your will. Revel in the facts that I have had to listen to for the last FIVE hours as my roommate wrote her Poli-Sci paper.

Roswell has a population of at least 45,000 people. (I think the lot of us bring that up a hundred?)

This town has the International UFO Museum and Research Center which has display panels and a library. (Is the library full of first hand alien encounter stories? I'm interested in this now.)

Quaint Roswell has the Spring River Park and Zoo which is home to native animals and an antique carousel. (Oooh, carousel. Who wants to go with me?)

We have three, THREE art museums. The Anderson Museum of Contemporary Art shows work from the Roswell Artist-in-Residence Program. The Roswell Museum & Art Center focuses on southwestern art. Then there is The Gallery. (I know which one my roommate is going to try and get work into.)

Want something outdoors, there is a golf course, a dog park, hiking trails, and camping spots.

Fancy some fun cheap dining? Roswell is home to the Flying Saucer McDonald's!

I stopped listening to her after that, because she was going on and on about other museums and theaters, and festivals, and events at the civic center, and... yeah. Apparently there is always something to do around here.

I'm halfway convinced that my customers are all insane.

Yes, Rodney, that includes you.

What star system is this planet in?

What kind of backwater planet is this? Where are your spaceports?

[Spoilers for Rise of Skywalker likely in comments]

Well, at least I'm still on Earth. At this point, nothing would surprise me.

I don't know which moronic idiot kidnapped me, but they seem to have forgotten that Roswell is NOT where Area 51 is located. You imbeciles had better let me contact the mountain before Sheppard and Ronon decide to blow up your plans.

Which, knowing those two, will most likely be literal blowing up.