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winchester, sam. (ex_demonbloo908) wrote in wariscomingcom,
@ 2014-02-18 23:53:00

Entry tags:

andy gallagher, anna milton, bobby singer, castiel, crowley, dean winchester, hugo weasley, jacen solo, katherine pierce, kol mikaelson, loki, rebekah salvatore, robin hood, rogue, ruby winchester, sam winchester, scott mccall, spike

I've decided that I no longer want my soul.

It would probably rip me apart at this point and I'm not really seeing why anyone would want to end up a drooling, slobbering, useless mess for the rest of their days, so I'm gonna take a pass on the whole messy resolution to my situation.

I understand that may be a conflict of interest for some of you. If any of you insist on trying to find me in an attempt to force that thing down my throat, then do so at your own risk.

If this doesn't bother you or if you really don't care, then have a nice life as I won't be hanging around Lawrence anymore. Or not. I actually don't care either way.

(Read comments) - (Post a new comment)

	ex_demonbloo908 2014-02-19 10:12 am UTC (link)
	I can't be considered a friend without a soul? I can't feel those things anymore. Why should I care about them? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	ofthursdays 2014-02-19 10:14 am UTC (link)
	You are my friend in this moment and all moments. Because they are gifts. You've just forgotten what they mean to you. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	ex_demonbloo908 2014-02-19 10:18 am UTC (link)
	Do you know what it's like to be empty? I haven't forgotten. I just don't find it appealing or important anymore. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	ofthursdays 2014-02-19 10:20 am UTC (link)
	I know what it's like to be numb. Not the same but... in a way, yes. Because the joy isn't enough to exceed the pain? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	ex_demonbloo908 2014-02-19 10:23 am UTC (link)
	You still had the ability to feel. What joy? I barely had any when I jumped into the Cage. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	ofthursdays 2014-02-19 10:24 am UTC (link)
	Ability, yes. I was afraid when I took my Grace back I'd loose it. Not in love or family? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	ex_demonbloo908 2014-02-19 10:26 am UTC (link)
	But you didn't. Maybe it would be better if you had. It was there. But it was clouded with fear. Why love when you're always afraid? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	ofthursdays 2014-02-19 10:29 am UTC (link)
	Every now and then I think that too but... the pain and the joy... they change places. We are all afraid. Those who have love are not alone in their fear. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	ex_demonbloo908 2014-02-19 10:33 am UTC (link)
	They make you vulnerable. Love is supposed to be about happiness. Right? Not fear. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	ofthursdays 2014-02-19 10:36 am UTC (link)
	Yes but how else will you know you're strong? No. Love isn't about any one thing. It's about all things. Joy, happiness, fear, confusion, hope, despair, peace, war. It has a part in all things. Love is a guide and a way through the dark as much as it's about the light. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	ex_demonbloo908 2014-02-19 10:39 am UTC (link)
	By winning. Probably. Wouldn't it be easier to just buy a flashlight? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	ofthursdays 2014-02-19 10:41 am UTC (link)
	But if you run now you won't be winning. Not for the kind of darkness you're running from. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	ex_demonbloo908 2014-02-19 10:42 am UTC (link)
	I'm not suffering. I count that as winning. Yeah, I don't really get it. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	ofthursdays 2014-02-19 10:46 am UTC (link)
	There was really no peace for you here? The point of life isn't to feel nothing. It's so find the strength to take the bad so you can have the good. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	ex_demonbloo908 2014-02-19 10:48 am UTC (link)
	How could I be at peace when my entire life had been planned for chaos from the very start? That sounds like a waste of time. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	ofthursdays 2014-02-19 10:52 am UTC (link)
	We were trying to end it. We won't stop until it's over and you are free to live as a human. As you all should be. ... Fuck their plans. But it doesn't feel like one, when you can feel it. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	ex_demonbloo908 2014-02-19 10:58 am UTC (link)
	I don't think that matters anymore. The apocalypse is over. I'm here. I don't need the soul, Castiel. From a logical perspective it's entirely pointless. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	ofthursdays 2014-02-19 11:11 am UTC (link)
	What you need is a chance to be yourself, intact, without Heaven and Hell sticking their fingers in your pie. I... I'm afraid I am not willing to lose you, Sam Winchester. Yes. From a logical perspective it makes no sense. But there is more than logic. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	ex_demonbloo908 2014-02-19 08:32 pm UTC (link)
	Heaven and Hell will always try to interfere with my life. I'm a Winchester. I don't have the luxury of them overlooking me when they've got some sort of dastardly plot falling out of their sleeves. At least now it'll be harder for them to control me. I won't be so easily manipulated. I prefer logic. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	ofthursdays 2014-02-19 08:58 pm UTC (link)
	If, when, the old regime falls in Heaven you won't be a concern to them. They can't start it again. When they fall they won't want to. If you give up your humanity for them, they win. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	ex_demonbloo908 2014-02-20 07:27 am UTC (link)
	What makes you think they're going to fall anywhere? No. If I let them control me, they win. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	ofthursdays 2014-02-20 07:50 am UTC (link)
	They're going to receive a push. They have turned Heaven into something to be feared or dismissed. It seems people have more faith in Hell. I can't let that stand. You have long since chose how you react to what they do. Lucifer is gone. There is only Raphael left. Things can change. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	ex_demonbloo908 2014-02-21 06:47 am UTC (link)
	Why are you wasting your time with me when you have something so much bigger on your plate? My soul can't. It's in pieces. What do I do with that? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	ofthursdays 2014-02-21 07:31 am UTC (link)
	But I don't have something bigger. You wait for us to help you. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	ex_demonbloo908 2014-02-21 07:40 am UTC (link)
	Heaven is much bigger than one man. No. I'm done waiting. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)