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Helena Wells has "disappeared" with the Astrolabe ([info]ismellapples) wrote in [info]wariscomingcom,
@ 2012-08-23 02:15:00

Previous Entry  Add to memories!  Tell a Friend!  Next Entry
Entry tags:andrea rojas, claudia donovan, clint barton/hawkeye, cole turner, damien thorn, faith lehane, guy of gisborne, harry lockhart, helena g. wells, jacen solo, jaime lannister, john watson, natasha romanoff/black widow, oliver queen/green arrow, pete lattimer, robin hood, ruby winchester, tess mercer

[Filtered against evil, Katherine and Gaia]

Hypothetically, say someone had thoughts of publishing a book while here. What are the chances it would attract too much attention?

Also on a separate note, I wish to make an offer I made some time ago I just got side-tracked by the bastard Irishman trying to kill me and Myka and dealing with my daughter's death. I had made the offer of installing an anti-gravity trap within the main entrance of the complex for added security in the event we are attacked by things like those Autons again and some try to get inside the complex for some reason. The anti-gravity trap basically renders an area devoid of gravity, causing anyone and anything within it's range to be stuck to the ceiling when it is activated. If anyone is fearful of potentially getting caught within the area of effect, I can easily make your shoes magnetic so you wouldn't be affected.

If anyone not living at the complex would like me to install one, or more, within their residence, I would be more than happy to oblige.

If you have any questions, feel free to ask. I would not do this without consent from everyone. It was a thought I had when we were confronted with a mass attack that the usual magical wards do not protect against.

For those who do not know me, I am Helena Wells, better known as H. G. Wells. Yes, that H. G. Wells.


[Filtered to non-evil aligned characters that have killed in cold blood/taken lives on purpose]

This topic is hard to approach, but I do not think I am the only one here who has a dark past in this regard. Is it ever possible to get the inner darkness under control again? Provided control was able to be exerted before, of course.


[OOC: Also to all in House Warehouse, tonight you were serenaded by angry/dark music. So there's probably some of Beethoven's heavier symphonies, "In the Hall of the Mountain King" from Peer Gynt, among other things that I'm too lazy to look up right now.]


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[Second Filter]
[info]ismellapples
2012-08-23 07:22 am UTC (link)
How? I used to be able to handle myself, but after having spent many years giving into it, I am finding it more than difficult to get a grip on it again.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

[Second Filter]
[info]justlykbudapest
2012-08-23 07:29 am UTC (link)
It's...difficult, particularly if you're not made...trained for it. But I've learned in recent years is that the key is having something more that you want, something to focus on. For me, it's been my own desire to make up for what I've done in my past. While I know I'll never, ever be forgiven...I try to clear my ledger every bit that I can.

One of the things I do is face everything that I've done - even when new memories surface - and look at every aspect of it, accept what I did, and continue on. I know I did evil things, but I don't dwell on them, because I can't change the past. I can only accept it to try and make peace within myself, and live with the knowledge anyway.

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[Second Filter]
[info]ismellapples
2012-08-23 07:38 am UTC (link)
I would not say I am trained for it, I always made my own ways of how to handle it, to channel the feelings so I would not hurt anyone. But having something stronger, something to temper that, I understand that. I too wish to make up for what I've done, though I know I will never fully make up for it, I want to become a better person, to be who I was before I lost myself.

That...is far easier said than done. I fear I am still somewhat in the dwelling on what I have done stage, though I am trying not to. Some days are better than others, but I desire peace within myself again, and I will do whatever I have to to ensure I can get to that point. Though the only way through is to take things one step at a time, and it is a slow process. Looking at myself and facing what I have done are not my strongest points, but it is what is needed to fully move forward.

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[Second Filter]
[info]justlykbudapest
2012-08-23 07:43 am UTC (link)
Personally, I was molded and raised to be a monster from a very young age. A controlled weapon, which is why I'm able to control things like that though sometimes even I snap. I think the point is that you try to become the better person...even if you don't feel as if you ever get there, the way I sometimes do.

I was taught to compartmentalize, and I use that even now. If you ever want to discuss things in person, I'm available - and perhaps I can help you learn to face it. Believe me when I say I have no right to judge another's actions, so you needn't fear any persecution on my part.

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[Second Filter]
[info]ismellapples
2012-08-23 07:53 am UTC (link)
No one should ever be molded to be a controlled weapon and I am sorry you went through that experience. Sometimes I doubt whether I can get to that point again, but considering I have been given life after death, then anything truly is possible.

Thank you, I would like that. Talking about such topics is not my strong point, but I know expressing my feelings to someone who understands is the key to getting myself back on the right track. And likewise, I am in no position to judge anyone's actions so you needn't fear any persecution or judgement on my part.

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[Second Filter]
[info]justlykbudapest
2012-08-23 02:45 pm UTC (link)
No, they shouldn't - and I still don't know all they did. I only just got another memory back several nights ago - but you don't need to feel sorry for me. What matters is that I don't let them control me any longer. I think for myself, I feel...and I attone. Having the second chance means you should always keep trying to reach that point.

I'm available whenever you'd like to talk.

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[Second Filter]
[info]ismellapples
2012-08-23 07:05 pm UTC (link)
That is good that you were able to attain your freedom and your right to think and act the way you wish to. Taking full advantage of that second chance is what one should do. Not everyone gets second chances and fewer still take advantage of such a chance.

I do think sooner rather than later, I do not wish to give myself a chance to try and close up on myself again and refuse to talk. I will be at the warehouse doing some work with Bruce and starting on a side project, but perhaps afterwards?

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

[Second Filter]
[info]justlykbudapest
2012-08-24 12:34 am UTC (link)
I only did so because someone gave me a reason to want to change. If not for him...I'd probably be dead by now, actually. And I agree about taking advantage of the second chance.

That should be fine. I'll likely be in the gym or the lounge, and available.

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[Second Filter]
[info]ismellapples
2012-08-24 04:06 am UTC (link)
Having that person that gives you that chance, that reason to want to change is truly a blessing. Speaking from a technical point of view, this is more like my fourth chance. So I will simply take the hint that the universe has obviously been trying to give me. Well, I utilized my third chance, and I sacrificed myself to save those I care about, then I ended up here.

All right, I will come look for you when I am finished. Or at least too scatterbrained to continue with experiments and building.

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[Second Filter]
[info]justlykbudapest
2012-08-24 04:48 am UTC (link)
You, too, have a person like that in your life now. I'm glad you're going to use this chance the Seal has given you, Helena.

I'll see you then.

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[Second Filter]
[info]ismellapples
2012-08-24 05:13 am UTC (link)
I do, and I am forever grateful for that. So am I. I am tired of using my life to only tear myself apart even further.

[OOC: Did you want to thread their talk?]

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

OOC
[info]justlykbudapest
2012-08-24 05:14 am UTC (link)
Sure, we can if you like!

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

OOC
[info]ismellapples
2012-08-24 05:18 am UTC (link)
I'm totally up for it! I can start it if you want?

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

Re: OOC
[info]justlykbudapest
2012-08-24 05:20 am UTC (link)
That'd be awesome, as I'm probably gonna crash shortly. My brain power is winding down for tonight.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

Re: OOC
[info]ismellapples
2012-08-24 05:36 am UTC (link)
Aww totally understandable. I will get one up here so it will be there tomorrow. <3

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