InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "HoNk!"

theprettybeta (theprettybeta) wrote in paradisocomm,
@ 2016-04-27 19:49:00

Entry tags:

chris argent (argentum), ~derek hale (theworstalpha), ~finnick odair (dist4_finnick), ~isaac lahey (theprettybeta), ~lydia martin (eunoia), ~lynne masters (lynnemasters), ~malia tate (wantsherfurcoat), ~simon tam (drstam)

To those of you who still don't have beds, if you've been having trouble sleeping I'm sure that we can start building hammocks for you or something. It's looking like everybody might get one eventually? I don't want to assume but they're coming in waves, it's weird.

I also feel like we should start trying to do more little stuff to show the gods and goddesses we appreciate what they're doing for us. I'm kind of coming up with a blank for suggestions though... I'm not usually the guy who comes up with the ideas. Any suggestions? They don't seem like he kind who would be too thrilled with sacrifice so I think it's safe to say that's off the table.

Except for the scary one. He'd probably be up for it.
If you can read this I didn't mean that you're my favorite?

ARVA.
You're probably frustrated today. I'm sorry. You don't have to respond, I just wanted to let you know that I left something for you by the waterfall a little north of us. ~~It's kind of awful and it's the third one I tried to make since I saw you and I know you probably can't use it and I know it's stupid~~ I just thought you'd like it, maybe. You don't have to take it if you don't want to.

MALIA.
I think the gods gave me these prenatal vitamins, I found them. I want you to start taking them, okay? They'll be good for you and the baby. How are you feeling? I wanted to know if you would be up for seeing one of the doctors, just for a check up. I've been talking to them but I don't want to make any solid plans until I know if you'd prefer a male or a female doctor.

LYDIA.
I'm going to start cooking in about half an hour, unless that's too early. I'm really looking forward to
It's getting more ridiculous every day

CHRIS.
Hey so, when you don't want to be an adult anymore, how do you find the off switch? I'm asking for a friend.

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	Malia theprettybeta 2016-04-28 02:15 am UTC (link)
	No, Malia, it's what you're comfortable with. That's important, okay? Would you prefer a male or female doctor? Whatever you want. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Isaac wantsherfurcoat 2016-04-28 02:17 am UTC (link)
	Isaac, I don't care. Whatever you want is fine. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Malia theprettybeta 2016-04-28 02:18 am UTC (link)
	~~Right, so I'll just~~ Alright. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Isaac wantsherfurcoat 2016-04-28 02:20 am UTC (link)
	What do you want from me? I've hardly said a word. I'm trying not to cause problems, okay? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

Malia

theprettybeta
2016-04-28 02:26 am UTC (link)

Woah, I didn't say anything! I just asked you what you preferred, you told me you didn't care and I said alright, I'm just going to pick, okay...?

I'm just not going to be checking in on you in person tonight so I wanted to do it here and ask you a question, that's all. It's fine, if you don't want to talk we don't have to, Malia, I can just pick a doctor. It's fine, everything is fine.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Isaac wantsherfurcoat 2016-04-28 02:34 am UTC (link)
	Right fine whatever I don't care. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Malia theprettybeta 2016-04-28 02:39 am UTC (link)
	~~Yeah I know you said that~~ Okay. I'll make an appointment for you then. ~~We can see the baby, they have an ultraso~~ I'll leave you alone. Feel better, Malia. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Isaac wantsherfurcoat 2016-04-28 02:41 am UTC (link)
	Fine. ~~Feel better? Like you care. I'm going to spend most of the night throwing up just like I always do, and you're going to be out doing whatever it is you do now that you've decided you hate me~~ Have fun. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Malia. theprettybeta 2016-04-28 02:47 am UTC (link)
	~~You're never going to just let me help this baby grow, are you? It's never going to be easy. There's always going to be~~ Thanks, I'll try. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	wantsherfurcoat 2016-04-28 02:51 am UTC (link)
	~~I wish I'd never gotten pregnant~~ Great. You do that. I'll try to figure out new, fun ways to puke my guts out. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

Malia

theprettybeta
2016-04-28 02:56 am UTC (link)

What
God damn it, Malia
Malia, what do you want from me? What do you want me to do? ~~You're fucking lucky I'm even still talking to you after the shit you pulled and you're completely taking away my only opportunity to be a father right now so what~~

You obviously want something and I can't guess, I'm not a mind reader, I need you to tell me what you want. I've been doing the best I can to help you with the nausea, I'm not a miracle worker but I've been trying everything. Including trying to get you to see a doctor, which you won't even work with me on, so I'm just going to do that part too. What is it? Tell me what you need.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

Isaac

wantsherfurcoat
2016-04-28 03:01 am UTC (link)

~~I need there to be one person in this damned place who doesn't hate me~~

Isaac - I can't do this right now, okay? I just. Can't do this right now. I'm falling apart and I don't know how to put myself back together and I'm scared and I'm tired and I'm sick.

It seems like the only thing I can do well right now is be a bitch and make people hate me. So it's just best if I don't talk to anyone at all ever.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

Malia

theprettybeta
2016-04-28 03:05 am UTC (link)

~~Right, people are mad at you so treating me like shit is the answer, got it. You can't be a bitch and then complain that people think you're being a bitch~~
Then why are you picking a fight? I don't understand you sometimes, Malia, this is why I never understand what you want. You're not falling apart, you're fine, you know you're going to be fine. You know I will never let anything happen to you.

You know that I'm never going to stop protecting you no matter how much you try to push me away and you know I'm never going to stop providing for you no matter how much you try to stop me. I know you're scared. I'm scared too. I know you're tired. I'm tired too. And I know you're sick. And I'm doing everything in my power to try and help with that.

I don't care if you don't want to talk to anyone ever again in your entire life, but you need to talk to me. I'm here for you, the entire point of this is so I can be here for you, so you need to talk to me. Fuck everyone else. You can't push me away...

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Isaac wantsherfurcoat 2016-04-28 03:09 am UTC (link)
	I don't know what you want from me, Isaac. I don't know what you want me to say. Yes. You're a good guy. I know you're a good guy. You're doing everything right, and I'm a horrible bitch. I know that, okay? Just tell me what you want and I'll do it because I don't even know anymore. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

Malia

theprettybeta
2016-04-28 03:21 am UTC (link)

I'd like for you to listen to what I say instead of always acting like I'm attacking you. For one. Or, you know, maybe acknowledge that I'm trying to fix things and every time I respond to you you just ask me to repeat myself. I don't even know if you're paying attention.

I'm really tired of you calling yourself a bitch. I'm really tired of you putting yourself down for the sake of putting yourself down. I don't know, Malia. You say you know I'm a good guy. And that you know I care about you and the baby. I guess all I really want is to know that you care about me once in a while.

But I don't know if that's asking for too much. I tried to walk away and leave you alone and you got angry. I tried to talk to you and you got angry. If you're this miserable just because I exist, which is pretty much how this feels at this point, then I don't know how to make things better.

So I'm just going to leave you alone when when you know how I can fix this, then tell me. Because I've tried everything.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Isaac wantsherfurcoat 2016-04-28 03:25 am UTC (link)
	I just want to go back to the beginning. To a few weeks ago when we were friends and this was exciting and we were both excited and...and this was a good thing. I don't want you to resent me. I want to talk, like we did when I first got here. I just want a world where I didn't fuck everything up, okay? And I don't know how to fix this. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

Malia

theprettybeta
2016-04-28 03:33 am UTC (link)

So telling me everything is fine isn't doing that. Telling me you don't care about your doctor isn't doing that.

The only thing making me resent you is the fact that you're literally refusing to let me be a father to a baby that I can't even keep. I've been insanely forgiving so far, Malia, but it's gotten to the point now where you just walk on me. You don't care about me, you just walk on me because now you know I'll forgive you so you don't even try to be kind.

I told you how. You just don't want to hear it because you want to be angry. I don't know what else to do, Malia. I'm trying. You really don't need everything to be perfect just to tell me what gender you want your doctor to be. You're saying that you're just trying to stay quiet and avoid trouble, except for me. You have no problem being nasty to me. I'm the one trying to help.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Isaac wantsherfurcoat 2016-04-28 03:37 am UTC (link)
	I honestly don't care what gender the doctor is. Please, can you pick that? Please? Pick who you think is best. Maybe you're right. Fine. I'll try. I can't fasten my pants anymore. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

Malia

theprettybeta
2016-04-28 03:43 am UTC (link)

Yeah, I'll pick it, it's fine. I'll take care of it.

Why maybe, like I'm lying to you or somethin

Will you though? Like, really? Because I just told you that I felt like you didn't care about me and you responded with how I resent you. Are you really going to try or are you just trying to shut me up

We can try to make them a little bigger, or I can collect some of the clothes people aren't using and see what fits you and what doesn't? I feel like you'll be more comfortable in a big shirt or a dress so you don't have to bother with pants anymore, does that sound like it could be better?

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Isaac wantsherfurcoat 2016-04-28 03:47 am UTC (link)
	No pants would be awesome. Isaac...I - I don't think you realize how hurtful it is when you ask me to tell you that I care about you. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Malia theprettybeta 2016-04-28 03:54 am UTC (link)
	I'll see if I can make that happen. It hurts you when I tell you that sometimes it feels like you don't care about me? ~~Maybe it's not about you. Maybe you should take into consideration how it feels to feel like you don't care about me. For once maybe it's not about~~ I'm sorry. I didn't meant to hurt you. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

Isaac

wantsherfurcoat
2016-04-28 03:58 am UTC (link)

Yes, it hurts. Because I told you how I feel about you. And why. I care about you more then I should. I know i shouldn't but I did. And that's because you're so good and sweet and kind and you do so many wonderful things.

Is that what you want to hear? Do you feel better? You can tell me now that you don't return it. I'll even try not to let my heart break in half again, okay?

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

Malia

theprettybeta
2016-04-28 04:28 am UTC (link)

You say that you just don't show it. You're always angry at me. You're always doing things that hurt and I really don't know how to feel about that.

No, I don't feel better, because saying it and showing it are two different things. And feeling for me isn't what I'm asking for... I just want to know that I'm being a good dad right now. That's all I want. But sometimes you won't let me. You take that away from me and I don't know what to do.

~~I could have, Malia, but you were so nasty and ungrateful, you only like me half of the time and treat me like shit the other half and honestly I'm always walking on eggshells around you~~ You know I care about you. Not in the same way but all I want is for you to be happy. I've said that so many times at this point I don't know how else I can say it. I just want you and the baby to be happy. I can't do that if you just push me away.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Isaac wantsherfurcoat 2016-04-28 03:15 pm UTC (link)
	You don't believe it, but I'm not mad at you. I'm not. I'm just...feeling a lot right now and you know how they say when you're really upset you blow up at the people you care about the most? Well. Yeah. There you have it. I'n sad, yes. But I want to start over, if that's even possible. Just be friends. I miss you. (Reply to this) (Parent)

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