I don't have to answer the voices in my head

Written for palmer_kun over at LJ, as part of a drabbling challenge meme.
400 words of purest AU, involves Severus Snape, a Malfoy, and a Potter.


( The Outing )

Notes: Oh dear. Yeah, I wrote Snarry, but the twist is that this is house elf crack meta. I know, I know. Bad Loki. Stale cookies. ;)


( Dobby screamed in mortal terror... )

Title: Guilt
Author: soberloki
Rating: PG
Also Posted: here
Author Notes: Found this in an old file, and with minor editing, made it work.


     Please, thinks Severus Snape. Please, let him-

     He never asks for things. He knows better than to hope for salvation, or joy, or anything really. He doesn't deserve it.

     There's so much ground to cover, here to there, and he's never felt so slow, so incapable, so bloody lost. The green glow will come soon and he’s close, soclose, and then it's done.

     Done.

     Done.

     It's like a bell rung in the hollows of his body, his stomach, his throat, behind his eyes.

     Harry deserves to win, but it's Severus who asked, so. No hope, then.

     What have I done?

I jumped on the bandwagon again. A shock, I know. Inspired by celandineb, and my own uncontrollable urge to promote pretty much any pairing involving a happy Snape. 327 words, G-rated, single-voice crack.

---

5 Reasons Snape Puts Up With Harry, or, Love Isn't One of Them
An interview with Rita Skeeter

You people ask the most intrusive questions. Why must you persist? Does it really matter, why I don't send him to live with Weasleys, or on his own?

Oh very well, Albus. Why I agreed to hang your bloody portrait in my home, I'll never know. Meddling old bugger, I'm sure it was actually Potter's idea.

I do not send Harry Potter away because he keeps the place in order. I know all of the standard housekeeping charms, but Tergeo and Scourgify are not the same thing as on-your-knees effort, are they?

I have yet to evict The Walking Bird's Nest for the simple reason that I am not used to a great deal of discussion. While he keeps house here, he also usually manages to deter fools who feel it necessary to track me down and pester me with questions, the answers to which are most assuredly none of their bloody business. Do not drip that vile pink excuse for ink on my furnishings, Skeeter.

I permit the annoying twit to inhabit my home because he's a reasonably good cook. His holiday meals are quite satisfactory, despite the company he insists on including. Weasleys. It's always Weasleys. And Granger. And that positively insufferable French bint who married one of the Weasleys. And their children...

I keep the Boy-Who-Lived about the place as a reminder that we are not who we believed ourselves to be when we were young. I am not a glory-seeking Dark Master. Potter is not a golden idol to be followed by the masses. Neither of us is the child who first set foot in the Great Hall of Hogwarts... and it is entirely possible that we never were.

Besides all that, I love the little green-eyed idiot, don't I? Dearest Merlin, I knew you'd drop your quill. Spell that ink out of my rug immediately, or I shall not be held responsible for what happens to you.

And Albus... do shut up.

Title: Crossing the Line, AU Genfic
Also Posted: HERE
Challenge / Character(s): LINE / Trio, Snape
Rating / Wordcount: G / 100 X 3
Notes: Harry's seventh year, ignores HBP entirely. Thought of this on the bus to work, watching three people at the transit exchange scream at each other.

1.
Harry trudged down the Grand Staircase in a fug, wishing Hermione was there to shut Ron up for him.

"He doesn't even mind his hygeine," Ron prattled prissily.

I'm so tired of this shite. Even Snape should have kindness. Maybe it's why he's such a bastard, because Dad and Sirius made sure nobody ever was nice to him.

Harry paused at the first floor landing, a brilliant idea taking shape in his mind. Ron rambled onward, still talking, but Harry didn't care.

I need Hermione. She'll be able to find what I need. Harry made a beeline for the library.

( 2. )

( 3. )

Title: The Theory
Character/Pairing(s): Severus/George
Word Count: 100
Rated: PG for naked Weasley
Challenge: snape100 #145 – Snape, the Animagus
Notes: Snape rarepairs are my favorites!


     "One theory is that Animagus forms are facets of the personality, expressed as animals. But there's another... not as popular, but it might explain this."

     Snape returned to human form, sneering. "Do enlighten me, Mister Weasley."

     George flicked the sheet at Severus. "Don't be like that, I'm not telling anyone."

     Severus refrained from snarling, Better not, if you know what's good for you, and instead raised his eyebrow.

     George loved that eyebrow. "Right, this other theory is that a form can be a missing bit of a personality." He grinned. "Honestly, does anything about you resemble a Puffskein, normally?"

Title: A Smile
Characters: Snape & ??
Word Count: 100
Rated: G
Challenge: snape100 #144 - mystery character draw
Notes: cut to preserve the mystery

( A Smile )

Just found these sitting around on my hard drive, and figured I should probably, y'know, actually POST them. I have no idea how long ago I wrote these.

TITLE: Twice Damned
WORD COUNT: 100
A/N: Feedback hugely welcome.
CHALLENGE: Snape makes another bad choice.

( He watches you )

-------------------------

TITLE: Summer
WORD COUNT: 100
CHALLENGE: Ink
A/N: Feedback hugely welcome.

( It was Harry's fault )

Title: Vegas Vacation
Words: 100
Warnings: Implied animal sex.
Notes: Very random inspiration, I was watching CSI: Crime Scene Investigation, the episode with the furries' convention. Started giggling about the idea of Severus Snape being there.



Severus surveyed the conventioneers disdainfully. "Likenesses of humanised animals?"

Harry rolled his eyes. "We don't have to participate, and –"

Severus shoved a blue anthropomorphised fox in a sequined pink bikini away from himself, and snapped, "Neither of us yiff, thank you very much!"

The blue fox tottered away on huge glittery red high-heeled shoes, and Harry was sure those feet couldn't belong to a woman.

"We can get another hotel." Harry frowned. "Wait, what's yiff?"

"Nothing."

Harry seized Severus' sleeve. "Tell me."

Scowling, Severus whispered in Harry's ear.

Harry blushed, then grinned. "So, just like us, but not Animagi."

For LJ-er iulia_linnea, who egged me on when I got the idea, and encouraged me further when I almost stalled out on it.

( Painless | PG-13 | 2072 words | Lily/Severus, mentions Lily/James, Regulus Black )

My first submission to 5_nevers on LJ


( Draco Malfoy: 145 )


( Ginny Weasley: 120 )


( Sirius Black: 115 )


( Severus Snape: 150 )


( Voldemort: 160 )

Rating: PG. Ominous thoughts and a couple of assaults.
Summary: 20 things Lily would probably prefer nobody knew, to be perfectly honest.
Author's Notes: Written for LJ-er iulia_linnea's Random Facts Fest. You can't go wrong, claiming a Potterverse character to be random with, or choosing one (or more) of the prompts to inspire you to create fic and/or art.

( Lily's parents were enchanted by the world their youngest had gone to live in. )

Challenge: #153 - Severus Snape and the Random Book Title.
Rated: R
Word count: 100, of course
Also Posted: Snape100
A/N: The generated title made me giggle, and then this came to me.


( On first entering his office... )

Word Count: 350
Pairing/Characters: Harry Potter/Severus Snape
Notes/Warnings: Directly inspired by LJ-er irisgirl12000's triplet of drabbles. Utter nonsense and mush.


( At four in the morning, Harry crept in at the kitchen door. )

Also Posted: Perposterice Entry
Characters/Pairings: Severus Snape/Harry Potter
Word Count: 690
Rating: PG Crack, I'm hoping.
Summary: Severus Snape shouldn't speak to strangers.
Notes: Heeee. perposterice Spam Sender Challenge prompt #29.


( The girl seemed too... polished, in Severus' opinion. )

Word Count: 431
Rating: PG-13
Notes: I blame the song Still Waters, by Reverend Jim White. Seriously. That is one gorgeously weird song.


( Voldemort dies, and half of the Wizarding world disappears. )

Also Posted: Perposterice Entry

WARNING: Dark. Refers obliquely to torture; destruction of a mind.
( #45 – Malice of forethought – 150 words – Trio Gen, PG-13 )

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WARNING: Bodily functions, non-explicit.
( #36 – It doesn't pass mustard – 225 words – Draco/Luna, PG )

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WARNING: Fluff.
( #31 – To have an idea down packed – 300 words – Harry/Severus, PG )

House: Ravenclaw
Also Posted: hp100 entry
Rating: G
Characters: Assorted Order Members
Challenge: Staff Development
Word count: 100
A/N: Muaaaahahahaaaa... a theme I'm sure we all recognise.


51. To all Muggleborns and children of the 1960s: Monty Python recitations during Order meetings are not appreciated.

52. While Charming Severus to sing, 'I have to push the pram-a-lot' in basso profundo is undoubtedly amusing, it can only end in tears.

53. "Run away!" is not our new battle cry.

54. Stop saying "Ni!" This means YOU, Remus.

55. Any further questions regarding the airspeed of swallows will result in Arithmancy tutorials.

56. Please stop re-enacting the Dead Parrot Sketch using Kreacher. It's rude.

57. Taunting Harry Potter with couplets from Brave Sir Robin is really quite cruel, Severus.

Author: soberloki
Characters: Snape, McGonagall, Harry
Rating: G
Word Count: 100
Prompt: #124: Severus Snape and the Boy Who Lived
Author's Notes: Harry's 3rd or 4th year, inspired by an icon created by LJ-er graphicalrum.


"... Severus? What’s going on here?"

Snape glowered at McGonagall. "There's something wrong with the boy. His classmates should count themselves lucky I acted so quickly."

McGonagall sighed. "Why did you hex Mister Potter, please?"

Snape mentally reviewed the afternoon's Double Potions class. "I believe he is under the Dark Lord's control. He spoke in a language I did not understand."

McGonagall nodded slowly. "What did it sound like? Was it Parseltongue?"

Snape frowned again, at the Petrified form of Harry Potter, propped against the wall. "No. He mumbled and sang to himself, and then he said, 'Bork bork bork'."

Title: What You Deserve, for 1sentence @ LJ
Fandom: Harry Potter
Pairing: Severus Snape x George Weasley
Theme set: Epsilon
Rating: PG-13. I suck at smut, OK?


( What You Deserve )

Also Posted: hp100 entry @ LJ
Rating: PG for madness, self-harm
Characters: Harry Potter, Severus Snape, others
Challenge: Portkey Problems
Word Count: 100
A/N: Completely ignores HBP. Refers vaguely to a story I read years ago that never would leave my head. Have NO IDEA what the story was, anymore. ETA: I have been re-enlightened. The story is The Jaunt by Stephen King, and it's just as creepy as ever.


It'd been an hour since the portkey flared the wrong colour. The screaming filled the Order's heads with images they'd never have conjured six months earlier.

They finally found him. Harry hadn't changed on the surface, but one look and it was clear that this was not the boy they'd seen facing Pettigrew and Malfoy. This was... something dark, though not Dark...

Mad green wells; deep-space black chaos of hair. "It's there, Snape! All of it! A million years. I saw it all, I saw everything," the thing gibbered, weeping and laughing and clawing its skin into running red lines.

Challenge #117: Aversion
Title: Hands
Characters: Severus Snape, Harry Potter, mentions of James Potter
Rating: PG for suggestive imagery
Author: soberloki


Break me, break me, you'd like to, Severus hears, humming at the back of his skull. Potter's hands clench and flex, and Severus fights the urge to dance back the step it would take for comfort.

He dresses himself against these moments, robes armor against contact. It's bad enough he can't be one thing to everyone, must be three or four, and sometimes many more than that, but if Potter's hands... well. He won't think about that.

Twenty years on, and he still can't heal the brand of clawed fingers, faced daily with the living image of his former tormentor.

( Stubborn Git )


( Sway )


( Dave's Not Here, Man )


( Bloody Hell )

Title: Doubt
Character(s): Snape, Harry
Word Count: 100
Notes: No clue. Just another brain fart. That, and I like the idea of Snape being something other than entirely canon or fanon.

     Snape found Potter at the bottom of the Grand Staircase, at four AM. Potter appeared to have been beaten within an inch of his life. Sighing, Snape conjured a stretcher and took him to the hospital. Again.

     Every week. Who does this? Why? What does it mean?

     If Dumbledore would only agree, Snape could have answers in minutes, and stop the abuse. Snape didn't understand why he wasn't to protect the boy now, when his entire career had been about that very thing.

     Not for the first time, he wondered if Albus really did want the boy's ultimate victory.

Title: Lists
Also Posted: hp100 entry @ LJ
Word Count: 100
Rating: PG; multiple character death.
Notes: Damn it. CONSTANT VIGILANCE! (Oh, don't ask. I can't help myself.)


( Lists )