I don't have to answer the voices in my head

Title: 20 Facts About Hermione Granger-Weasley, Underminister of Magical & Muggle Co-operation
Author: soberloki (GJ & IJ)
Rating:
Warning(s): Just so you don't come upon it all unawares, thar be spoilers here. Big ones, with shiny surfaces, and they dance the foxtrot.
Disclaimer: All characters from the Harry Potter universe are the property of J.K. Rowling and those to whom she has licensed her creations, including without limitation Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books, Raincoat Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No copyright infringement is intended.
Author's Note(s): iulia_linnea is once again holding The Harry Potter Random Facts Fest, and I love backstory!


( That's Granger-Weasley, thank you very much. )

It took him some time, but George Weasley learned how to be one, rather than one-of-two.

He kept the shop open, and without Fred there to steal the show (keep them laughing), he learned how to make Verity laugh on his own, and how to kiss her, and how to ask her to marry him.

He raised children of his own: Annie, Ben, Caroline, David and his twin Edmund, Gracie (Verity wanted to call her Fiona until he begged her not to), and Hugh. Not one of them went into Gryffindor, and George found he didn't mind at all.

Verity was a very wise woman. She never asked the obvious questions, and George never forgot to tell her how important she was, nor to credit his parents with teaching him to leave no doubts in the hearts of those he loved. Verity was wise enough not to point out that Molly and Arthur were probably a lesser influence in that respect.

When Verity was a memory of nearly seven years and all of his children were themselves great-grandparents, fifty-three Weasleys and fourteen Potters through Hogwarts and more always to come, George went to bed alone one warm spring night, and woke to the sounds of a busy train station.

He sat up and found himself on a bench at King's Cross, surrounded by faces he knew. There was Harry, gone two years before Verity, and Bill and Fleur together, gone only a year. Victoire sat near them with Teddy, playing something a bit like Exploding Snap, only the cards didn't blow up when Teddy slapped them down.

"Well bugger, I've gone and died, haven't I?" he murmured, and wasn't surprised in the least when a warm hand clapped down on his shoulder and a laugh like a mad jarvey sounded just behind him.

"Took you long enough, Georgie-old-son! You know, your Annie -

(scarlet fever, such a Muggle affliction to take a witch)

- says you've kept it all going, the shop and the Wheezes. What's this I hear about a new range of marital aids, hmm?"

George cackled and leaned back so he could see Fred. "You would've had fun, Freddie. Harry and Ron and Hermione, they did a lot to move us forward. Changed a lot of minds about Muggles and their ideas."

"Yeah? Brilliant. Thought you were going to follow me sooner, you know. Didn't want that. Who'd keep the authorities on their toes if we were both dead, hey?"

George grinned, relaxing as he surveyed their surroundings. "This place isn't so bad, but why hasn't anyone got on a train and left? I mean, train station, there's got to be a way to leave."

"Wasn't time yet," Fred informed him. "There isn't really a set schedule, but we've all been waiting for something. Oi, Colin! Look who finally made it!"

Creevey waved as he passed, smiling. "George, good to see you!"

Fred came around the end of the bench and sat next to George. "So you know I've a question for you, don't you?"

George knew. "Go on and ask it, then."

"Was it worth it? Any of it?"

George swallowed hard once, twice. "I lost you, Fred. I was lost. But yeah, it was worth it. Look around, they'll tell you too. It was worth it."

Annie Weasley, perpetually thirteen, bounded out from behind a pillar and waved frantically at everyone. "The train's come!"

Title: Uprising
Rating: PG
Characters: Harry, Luna, others.
Notes & Warnings: Implied offscreen character death. Takes place a month after Dumbledore's funeral.


Months of secrecy. It was difficult, but even Neville had reached a level of proficiency he'd never expected to gain in fifth year.

Here, now, Hogsmeade Station, Death Eaters along the platform and the Express reduced to a grimy string of boxcars waiting for children and adults without wands, Harry Potter ran his thumb over the charmed Galleon in his pocket. It hadn't stopped signaling for a week and he was pretty sure that meant Hermione was dead.

They'd worked on Voiceless magic this year, and Harry didn't need a wand. Nor did Luna. Harry stood.

"Defence Association, form up!"

Notes: Oh dear. Yeah, I wrote Snarry, but the twist is that this is house elf crack meta. I know, I know. Bad Loki. Stale cookies. ;)


( Dobby screamed in mortal terror... )

I jumped on the bandwagon again. A shock, I know. Inspired by celandineb, and my own uncontrollable urge to promote pretty much any pairing involving a happy Snape. 327 words, G-rated, single-voice crack.

---

5 Reasons Snape Puts Up With Harry, or, Love Isn't One of Them
An interview with Rita Skeeter

You people ask the most intrusive questions. Why must you persist? Does it really matter, why I don't send him to live with Weasleys, or on his own?

Oh very well, Albus. Why I agreed to hang your bloody portrait in my home, I'll never know. Meddling old bugger, I'm sure it was actually Potter's idea.

I do not send Harry Potter away because he keeps the place in order. I know all of the standard housekeeping charms, but Tergeo and Scourgify are not the same thing as on-your-knees effort, are they?

I have yet to evict The Walking Bird's Nest for the simple reason that I am not used to a great deal of discussion. While he keeps house here, he also usually manages to deter fools who feel it necessary to track me down and pester me with questions, the answers to which are most assuredly none of their bloody business. Do not drip that vile pink excuse for ink on my furnishings, Skeeter.

I permit the annoying twit to inhabit my home because he's a reasonably good cook. His holiday meals are quite satisfactory, despite the company he insists on including. Weasleys. It's always Weasleys. And Granger. And that positively insufferable French bint who married one of the Weasleys. And their children...

I keep the Boy-Who-Lived about the place as a reminder that we are not who we believed ourselves to be when we were young. I am not a glory-seeking Dark Master. Potter is not a golden idol to be followed by the masses. Neither of us is the child who first set foot in the Great Hall of Hogwarts... and it is entirely possible that we never were.

Besides all that, I love the little green-eyed idiot, don't I? Dearest Merlin, I knew you'd drop your quill. Spell that ink out of my rug immediately, or I shall not be held responsible for what happens to you.

And Albus... do shut up.

Title: Crossing the Line, AU Genfic
Also Posted: HERE
Challenge / Character(s): LINE / Trio, Snape
Rating / Wordcount: G / 100 X 3
Notes: Harry's seventh year, ignores HBP entirely. Thought of this on the bus to work, watching three people at the transit exchange scream at each other.

1.
Harry trudged down the Grand Staircase in a fug, wishing Hermione was there to shut Ron up for him.

"He doesn't even mind his hygeine," Ron prattled prissily.

I'm so tired of this shite. Even Snape should have kindness. Maybe it's why he's such a bastard, because Dad and Sirius made sure nobody ever was nice to him.

Harry paused at the first floor landing, a brilliant idea taking shape in his mind. Ron rambled onward, still talking, but Harry didn't care.

I need Hermione. She'll be able to find what I need. Harry made a beeline for the library.

( 2. )

( 3. )

Yeah... complete crack. Warnings for het and implied oral. Hermione/Flitwick. I'm so sorry.


( Chitchat. )

Just found these sitting around on my hard drive, and figured I should probably, y'know, actually POST them. I have no idea how long ago I wrote these.

TITLE: Twice Damned
WORD COUNT: 100
A/N: Feedback hugely welcome.
CHALLENGE: Snape makes another bad choice.

( He watches you )

-------------------------

TITLE: Summer
WORD COUNT: 100
CHALLENGE: Ink
A/N: Feedback hugely welcome.

( It was Harry's fault )

Title: Unexpected Depths
Rating: PG
Word Count: 486
Pairing/Characters: Trio, mentions Kreacher and Mundungus Fletcher.
Challenge: jamie2109's awdt challenge - "Read my mind."
Warnings: No beta. Like, ever.
Summary: Ron discovers something even stranger than usual at 12 Grimmauld Place; Harry has a minor victory and a good idea.


( You can't do it, can you? )

Author: soberloki
Rating: PG (darkfic)
Fandom: Harry Potter
Challenge: 15minuteficlets #172 - Sophisticated
Notes: Recently given the editorial treatment over at fanficbunnies, and I thank the lot for their advice and encouragement.


The spell wasn't sophisticated or particularly pithy, nor was its caster, but it was powerful, and everyone agreed its essence was the thing they needed. Well. Harry wasn't so sure, but he trusted Ron, and Hermione certainly wouldn't agree to anything Ron proposed unless she'd already thoroughly trampled its flaws.

Finding Voldemort was never a problem. The red-eyed bastard was hanging about in Cornwall, openly torturing Muggles and decorating the locale with pieces of them. Inferi were common as well; already, they'd seen the risen corpses of Scrimgeour and Arthur Weasley

Oh Merlin, Ron whimpered, is that dad? Is that my dad?
Get it away, said Ginny, he isn't ours any longer, so fucking hex it. Do it, Harry!
And Harry did it, killed Arthur Weasley for a second time and later he killed Ginny after she was dead too

and Flitwick, which had been almost more terrible than the rest, tiny Flitwick still in his teaching robes, because who had time for white tombs and shrouds any longer?

But this was their newest effort. This was something that, if they were right about Harry's particular strengths and Voldemort's weaknesses, should make it all stop. End the war. Kill Voldemort, at long last.

The Horcruxes were a good start, they'd learned, but killing off even the fragment of Voldemort left in its original flesh was trickier than finding the locket Regulus Black stole; more difficult than finally, finally, crushing the power out of Ravenclaw's sodding living sink of magical learning, the Grimoire.

Wormtail, a human cockroach much more than a rat, brought Harry before his master so eagerly. Grinning, proud of his capture, and Harry was grateful he'd finally learned to block. Maybe, just maybe, he could give Voldemort enough of his mind to satisfy and he wouldn't search all the way to the bottom, all the way to the truth.

Harry saw the spell ripple out of his own mouth, coruscations of energy and intent. It was almost pretty, in a brutal sort of way, triggered by a word

Quidditch!
and comprised of every wish, every dream Harry ever had of his future in a free world. It rattled the walls, and killed Wormtail so quickly – Lucius Malfoy and Draco too – that even Voldemort was briefly unable to react to the outpouring of Harry's essence.

As Voldemort wavered and failed to exist, Harry saw the string-of-pearls pulses of magic turning pink, then darker, and understood why they'd developed this idea in the privacy of their shared bed, his two best friends. There were things they loved better than the Boy-Who-Lived.

Character(s): Harry, Hermione, Creeveys
Rating: G
Also Posted: Performance challenge, hp100
Word Count: 100
Notes: Because Harry so would, after watching Trilogy The First. Wouldn't you?


     Harry glanced over his shoulder at the Creevey brothers, poised with camera and Quick Quotes Quill.

     "Oi - Harry, just a few words for the Prophet, come on!" Dennis warbled, and Colin snapped a couple of photographs before Harry could tell them to bog off. He hated being followed in Muggle London. He couldn't even attend a film festival with a friend, lately.

     Wandlessly, he cast a silent spell. "These are not the wizards you're looking for."

     "Harry! You have to stop doing that. It's creepy," Hermione admonished, turning away so he wouldn't see her fail to conceal her smile.

Also Posted: Perposterice Entry

WARNING: Dark. Refers obliquely to torture; destruction of a mind.
( #45 – Malice of forethought – 150 words – Trio Gen, PG-13 )

-----------

WARNING: Bodily functions, non-explicit.
( #36 – It doesn't pass mustard – 225 words – Draco/Luna, PG )

-----------

WARNING: Fluff.
( #31 – To have an idea down packed – 300 words – Harry/Severus, PG )

Title: Her Hair
Author: soberloki
Word Count: 400
Prompt: Ginny thinks about her hair.
Notes: Hey, nobody said the 'her' had to be Ginny, right?


( Her hair... )

( Stubborn Git )


( Sway )


( Dave's Not Here, Man )


( Bloody Hell )

Title: Strange Grace
Author: soberloki
Word Count: 170
Rating: PG for weirdness, multiple character death implied.
Notes: This is what happens when I watch Franz Ferdinand's Take Me Out video, directly after reading HP apocalyptic meta. *le sigh*


( Strange Grace )

Title: 20 Random Facts about the Grey Lady
Author: soberloki (GJ & IJ)
Rating: PG-13
Warning(s): Just so you don't come upon it all unawares, thar be spoilers here. Big ones, with shiny surfaces, and they dance the foxtrot.
Disclaimer: All characters from the Harry Potter universe are the property of J.K. Rowling and those to whom she has licensed her creations, including without limitation Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books, Raincoat Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No copyright infringement is intended.
Author's Note(s): iulia_linnea is once again holding The Harry Potter Random Facts Fest, and I just can't pass up a chance to create backstory!


( The Grey Lady, Ravenclaw's Ghost )