I don't have to answer the voices in my head

House: Ravenclaw
Also Posted: hp100 entry
Rating: G
Characters: Assorted Order Members
Challenge: Staff Development
Word count: 100
A/N: Muaaaahahahaaaa... a theme I'm sure we all recognise.


51. To all Muggleborns and children of the 1960s: Monty Python recitations during Order meetings are not appreciated.

52. While Charming Severus to sing, 'I have to push the pram-a-lot' in basso profundo is undoubtedly amusing, it can only end in tears.

53. "Run away!" is not our new battle cry.

54. Stop saying "Ni!" This means YOU, Remus.

55. Any further questions regarding the airspeed of swallows will result in Arithmancy tutorials.

56. Please stop re-enacting the Dead Parrot Sketch using Kreacher. It's rude.

57. Taunting Harry Potter with couplets from Brave Sir Robin is really quite cruel, Severus.

House: Ravenclaw
Also Posted: hp100 entry
Rating: G
Characters: Random Death Eaters
Challenge: Staff Development
Word count: 100
A/N: I can't stop. It's a sickness.


71. 'Yo Mama' is not clever banter.

72. Baked goods brought in for the purpose of celebrating birthdays may NOT be shaped like eyeglasses.

73. Please refrain from amusing yourselves with 'talking hands'. It hurts the organization's image, Bella.

74. Pinching Draco Malfoy in the vestibule is not appropriate workplace conduct, no matter how much he enjoys it.

75. Re: Tuesday's meeting. It is not funny to refer to a visit by a certain family as 'getting Crabbes at the weekend'.

76. Harry Potter is NOT 'kind of sweet, actually'.

77. ‘Abracadabra’ will NOT be this year’s rally anthem. Stop asking.

Author: soberloki
Characters: Snape, McGonagall, Harry
Rating: G
Word Count: 100
Prompt: #124: Severus Snape and the Boy Who Lived
Author's Notes: Harry's 3rd or 4th year, inspired by an icon created by LJ-er graphicalrum.


"... Severus? What’s going on here?"

Snape glowered at McGonagall. "There's something wrong with the boy. His classmates should count themselves lucky I acted so quickly."

McGonagall sighed. "Why did you hex Mister Potter, please?"

Snape mentally reviewed the afternoon's Double Potions class. "I believe he is under the Dark Lord's control. He spoke in a language I did not understand."

McGonagall nodded slowly. "What did it sound like? Was it Parseltongue?"

Snape frowned again, at the Petrified form of Harry Potter, propped against the wall. "No. He mumbled and sang to himself, and then he said, 'Bork bork bork'."

Title: What You Deserve, for 1sentence @ LJ
Fandom: Harry Potter
Pairing: Severus Snape x George Weasley
Theme set: Epsilon
Rating: PG-13. I suck at smut, OK?


( What You Deserve )

Also Posted: hp100 entry @ LJ
Rating: PG for madness, self-harm
Characters: Harry Potter, Severus Snape, others
Challenge: Portkey Problems
Word Count: 100
A/N: Completely ignores HBP. Refers vaguely to a story I read years ago that never would leave my head. Have NO IDEA what the story was, anymore. ETA: I have been re-enlightened. The story is The Jaunt by Stephen King, and it's just as creepy as ever.


It'd been an hour since the portkey flared the wrong colour. The screaming filled the Order's heads with images they'd never have conjured six months earlier.

They finally found him. Harry hadn't changed on the surface, but one look and it was clear that this was not the boy they'd seen facing Pettigrew and Malfoy. This was... something dark, though not Dark...

Mad green wells; deep-space black chaos of hair. "It's there, Snape! All of it! A million years. I saw it all, I saw everything," the thing gibbered, weeping and laughing and clawing its skin into running red lines.

Challenge #117: Aversion
Title: Hands
Characters: Severus Snape, Harry Potter, mentions of James Potter
Rating: PG for suggestive imagery
Author: soberloki


Break me, break me, you'd like to, Severus hears, humming at the back of his skull. Potter's hands clench and flex, and Severus fights the urge to dance back the step it would take for comfort.

He dresses himself against these moments, robes armor against contact. It's bad enough he can't be one thing to everyone, must be three or four, and sometimes many more than that, but if Potter's hands... well. He won't think about that.

Twenty years on, and he still can't heal the brand of clawed fingers, faced daily with the living image of his former tormentor.

Title: Dribble
Word Count: 400
Prompt: A 400-word dribble pertaining to the relationship of Harry and Draco.
Notes: Get Ron drunk and interview him, see what happens?


( They know you're doing this, eh? )

Title: Her Hair
Author: soberloki
Word Count: 400
Prompt: Ginny thinks about her hair.
Notes: Hey, nobody said the 'her' had to be Ginny, right?


( Her hair... )

( Stubborn Git )


( Sway )


( Dave's Not Here, Man )


( Bloody Hell )

Title: Doubt
Character(s): Snape, Harry
Word Count: 100
Notes: No clue. Just another brain fart. That, and I like the idea of Snape being something other than entirely canon or fanon.

     Snape found Potter at the bottom of the Grand Staircase, at four AM. Potter appeared to have been beaten within an inch of his life. Sighing, Snape conjured a stretcher and took him to the hospital. Again.

     Every week. Who does this? Why? What does it mean?

     If Dumbledore would only agree, Snape could have answers in minutes, and stop the abuse. Snape didn't understand why he wasn't to protect the boy now, when his entire career had been about that very thing.

     Not for the first time, he wondered if Albus really did want the boy's ultimate victory.

Title: Lists
Also Posted: hp100 entry @ LJ
Word Count: 100
Rating: PG; multiple character death.
Notes: Damn it. CONSTANT VIGILANCE! (Oh, don't ask. I can't help myself.)


( Lists )

Title: Strange Grace
Author: soberloki
Word Count: 170
Rating: PG for weirdness, multiple character death implied.
Notes: This is what happens when I watch Franz Ferdinand's Take Me Out video, directly after reading HP apocalyptic meta. *le sigh*


( Strange Grace )

Title: Peter Pettigrew: 10 Messages, Never Received
Also Posted: soberloki entry
Warnings/Rating: HBP spoilers, if you squint. Also, a tiny bit of bad language.
Disclaimers/Author notes: I still have a bizarre feeling of sympathy for this character. Dang it, Brain, stop that! Ye hairy goats on the hill, I do love these meme thingers.

( 10 Messages )

Title: Bugger This
Author: soberloki
Word Count: 425
Notes: Um, crack. Yeah.


One morning, Harry Potter sat for breakfast at the Slytherin table. Millicent, Pansy, Theodore, Blaise, and Crabbe gaped at the interloper as he settled next to Draco Malfoy. Goyle was already involved in his scrambled eggs, and couldn't be bothered.

( What are you doing, Potter? )

Title: Something Good
Players: Harry/Draco, OFC
Word Count: 560-ish
Notes: After the War ends, someone stumbles upon something good.


( The world is a strange, strange place. )

Rating: PG
Summary: Be careful what you wish for.
Disclaimer: Not my characters, locations, or attitudes. Dang.

( Reversals )

CATEGORY: AU, Gen
PAIRING: Mentions of Harry/Lavender, Harry/Susan Bones, Draco/girls, OFC/Half-a-bee
SUMMARY: Someone bites off more than she can chew. Harry to the rescue? Seventh year.
WORD COUNT: 1,760-ish
WARNINGS: No resolution. Is only a scene, not a story.
NOTES: X-posted to my journal. And this OFC should exist, damn it.


( The Best Laid Plans of Nobody At All )