Summerview

So, a little bit about bar etiquette, since some of you seem not to be aware of the mores. Here are six seven eight ten things sure to annoy your bartender [EDITED]:

1. Do not tear apart napkins or coasters. Unless you're a gerbil, why would you do that? They're not toys.
2. Don't touch my tools or the garnishes. Don't reach over the bar at all. You'll spread your cooties and if I don't want them, I'm sure your fellow patrons don't either.
3. Don't be rude.

The guy who can't hold his liquor and wants to fight

The girl who is trying to impress people by bossing me around. If your date is nice to you but rude to waitstaff, they're not a nice person

The guy/girl who will hit on me non-stop. Especially do not grope or touch me in any way

The girl who tries to get my attention by snapping her fingers, yelling, "Hey, you," sighing loudly, or tapping on the bar. I'm not your trained monkey. Wait your turn

The guy who drinks his entire drink, says I made it wrong and refuses to pay
4. Tip your bartender. Fifteen to 20 percent for a job well done, people. No excuses. Bad tippers are bad people.
5. The bar isn't a good place for Third-Base. Explore one another's molars and private grooming habits somewhere else, please. Keep it out of the bathroom, too. We're the ones who have to chase you out with your pants around you ankles.
6. Vaping. Seriously? Bending down so I don't see you inhale doesn't mean I don't see the massive cloud of Orange Picachi Tampico Punch in the air. At least have the courtesy to go do it in the bathroom.
7. When I ask for your keys because you're too drunk to drive, give them over. I'll call you a Lyft. I don't need your life or the life of the people you kill by vehicular manslaughter to be on my conscience. Also, dead customers are not good for business. Daniel is on call to boot your car if you refuse.
8. No means no. This is just the basic fucking rule of decency for all of life. If someone says no to something (a drink, a dance, a phone number exchange), just let it go. If you're being a creep, I will make sure you are banned.
9. Put your phone on silent or at least vibrate. You're not that important. No one in the place needs to hear your phone go off. You're at a bar. Talk to people around you. Oh, and don't try to order drinks while you're on a phone call. You will be ignored until you're off.
10. If you break a glass or spill, tell someone. Yeah you'll probably get made fun of for the foul, but it's better than someone slipping or gouging themselves on broken glass.

Any other bartenders out there can back me up? Did I forget anything?

This is slightly embarrassing but I’ve never had to seek a special gift for a loved ones birthday before. At least, not for a relationship.

Nerissa can purchase whatever she desires already, which leaves me at a loss on the jewelry to get her that is unique. Does anyone have any advice?

Okay, listen up, my fine-feathered friends (or some with scales, fur, whatever). I don't usually do shit like this but I'm in a particularly jolly mood this year and my birthday happens to fall on Christmas. So, I'm doing it - I'm actually throwing a party. Kind of a 'boliday' party if you will. ( Deets below )

What: See above
Where: My beach cottage, inside and on the surrounding beach area
When: December 22nd, 7:00 pm til I kick your ass out
What To Bring: Yourself and/or a +1 if you feel like
What's Off Limits: Destruction of property, littering on the beach, fucking in my bed because I will literally kill you, eggnog because it tastes like wet socks. Sorry, drink it outside if you must.

That's all. See you later, babes~

The Long Way Down is officially starting a competitive pool League. Grand prize is gonna be bragging rights and a bottle of my favorite liquor. No, it's not one you'll recognize, yes it has been known to cause involuntary shapeshifting - but mostly only in those who naturally shift. Worth the risk though, trust me. Lots of fun. Questions here, drop by the bar for official team sign-ups.

Five finger fillet is officially a porch only activity, you know who you are.

And we just started doing a new variation of Shepherd's pie with sea nettles, so, we'll see how that works out.

Private to Julius
( Private to Julius )