InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "It's been ten years..."

Brynhild Ingouf (brynhild_ingouf) wrote in compass_network,
@ 2020-05-29 15:24:00

Entry tags:

!open, brynhild, dan foster, edward kenway, jacob frye, johnn redel, kelan, miguel o'hara, thor, zatanna

Filtered away from Astrid and Brenna
I have an odd request: Many humans offered their blood to me last time and the response brought me to tears. Are there any nonhumans that would offer the same?

Here is why I ask: A friend brought up the idea that I do not have to outlive everyone, that my 'immortality' could go away, for the lack of better words. Another seems to think this may end my life, but brought up a loop hole when I told him of the way I know of to remove my vampirism, to stave off of human blood. And I hope my self-loathing will be enough to open a door close to the time before I killed my Master so that I might do it again.

The reason I need to feed, and can't just go without blood all together, is I will lose selfcontrol. I will be come a ravenous beast, and that is not something I ever want to be, let alone on a floating island.

For those of you that are finding out about my vampirism this way, I am sorry. I did intend to be more delicate with it but opportunity did not present itself.

I am tired of being repulsive. I'm tired of outliving everyone I love, but I am not ready for an unnatural death.

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	Re: Bryn/Johnn completelyauto 2020-06-01 08:37 am UTC (link)
	There are exceptions. Blank came up first when I first accessed the Network. Then Scarlet through him. Then Scarlet brought you up. I had already set up shop by then. I know, it pained me that you two never got along. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Bryn/Johnn brynhild_ingouf 2020-06-01 09:14 am UTC (link)
	Oh? Who are the exceptions that you don't want in? You can trust most of the people here. Not just Blank. Not just Scarlet. Well, since what transpired with Scarlet, my feelings towards him are far worse than they were. He very nearly cost my charge his wife. Blank may forgive him, but I do not. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

Re: Bryn/Johnn

completelyauto
2020-06-01 09:32 am UTC (link)

Not exception to who I do not want, but who I do want through.

I agree. I will be reaching out more as I move forward.

Blank told me everything. If he were there that would not have happened, you know that. I regret not bring there myself. But, it is what they wanted and they knew the risks, Nero never would have made it happen if they did not.

Scarlet is safe and sound, and now we have Reeve.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

Bryn/Johnn

brynhild_ingouf
2020-06-01 11:04 am UTC (link)

Ah. Well then just add them to the print scanner. It's easier than boobie traps.

Good! You don't need to be a man trapped in a lab all the time, and sadly I do not need security here.

I don't care if it wouldn't have happened if he were here or not. He breaks the rules all the time as it suits him, and doesn't care who gets hurt in the process. I nearly hit someone with a table, because I couldn't deal with the pain.

Regardless, I don't forgive him.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: Bryn/Johnn completelyauto 2020-06-01 08:47 pm UTC (link)
	I think we got our points crossed. I meant my own doors. But, I am happy to know my tech is helping you. No, no I do not. But, if you ever do, I am always around. I am still regretful that I was not here for you all. To help Scarlet and Blank, or have you pound on this metal body of mine, should it have failed. You do not have, that is your choice. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

Bryn/Johnn

brynhild_ingouf
2020-06-01 10:57 pm UTC (link)

You added extra doors?

I will be sure to let you know.

You could hardly help it Johnn, this place calls you when it calls you. And I didn't purposely throw a table at him, I flung it out one of the shop windows, close to my club. John just happened to be walking by, likely to pick up a couple bottles of gin.

I didn't like him for what he did to Chicago, I despise him for what he did to us.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Bryn/Johnn completelyauto 2020-06-02 09:29 am UTC (link)
	To my workshop? I absolutely installed new doors. I did not think you did anything to hurt someone you care about on purpose. Chicago was not his fault, you know that. And what he did to us... Well, I can not say that I do not hate him a little for it. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

Bryn/Johnn

brynhild_ingouf
2020-06-02 10:32 am UTC (link)

I realize it's probably going to take you some time to trust people. But there are only two people on this whole station that don't know what I am. And everyone else respects that, I can trust them. I think you'll be able to trust them like that too. If you just let yourself.

I could easily call this man my best friend. I only hope I am at least half the friend to him that he is to me.

Chicago was enough his fault for me to not like him for it. There are people here that he hurt, that you haven't met yet. I don't think.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Bryn/Johnn completelyauto 2020-06-02 10:40 am UTC (link)
	It has been rather jarring to come to a new place so suddenly. I believe you, though. As I said, I will try to reach out. You doubt yourself too much in that aspect. Who has he hurt here, if I may ask? I thought it was only you, Scarlet, Blank, and myself from our world here. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Bryn/Johnn brynhild_ingouf 2020-06-02 11:04 am UTC (link)
	I meant all the security measures, but that's good too. Well, there is only so much I can know, he's a very closed lipped fellow. Scarlet has friends other than us. John was hurt, Loki was hurt, Shannon... (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

Bryn/Johnn

completelyauto
2020-06-02 09:08 pm UTC (link)

Right. The security measures. I will be sure to lower them. This place has given me no real reason to have as many. The people here seem... Nice. Unlike our world.

I would surmise that if you almost hit him with a table, and he was still there for you, that he is a man whose actions speak louder than words.

She does. While the circumstances were unpleasant, I am glad to see that so many care for her. She is quite the charmer.

I hope you do not take offense to my next question. Did you reach out to Blank during Scarlet's disappearance?

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Bryn/Johnn brynhild_ingouf 2020-06-03 06:17 am UTC (link)
	It doesn't have all the conveniences, but it feels more like home than there has in a long time. You make a good point. ~~But he loves someone else~~ Loki brought her back. No. He stayed in Little Asgard, and things between me and them were still strained. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Bryn/Johnn completelyauto 2020-06-03 07:30 am UTC (link)
	I am glad you have made a home here, Bryn. I hope to do the same. I am nothing, if not logical. ~~I know how you feel.~~ Blank told me. I can not thank Loki enough for that. Mmm. Then he should have reached to you, but I understand why it did not happen. You both were grieving, and it is not easy. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Bryn/Johnn brynhild_ingouf 2020-06-03 08:41 am UTC (link)
	I hope you do too. That's true. Perhaps make the necklace he wears better for him, than Scarlet? Yes, and since I receeved your lovely little beauty of a bracelet, I subdue my grief with chemical means. Usually booze. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: Bryn/Johnn completelyauto 2020-06-03 07:52 pm UTC (link)
	Thank you, Bryn. I met him in Asgard and offered to do so. I assume he will take me up on my offer soon enough. Though, I fear to imagine what Blank would have become should Loki not have been able to bring her back. You know how he was after Minette. I am glad my bracelet could help you in that way. We all grieve differently. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

Bryn/Johnn

brynhild_ingouf
2020-06-04 03:38 am UTC (link)

You're welcome John. I can't help but want to apologize, though.

He may not seem it but Loki is very sensitive, he may not want to change it because Scarlet gave it to him in the state that's in.

Ugh, Minette. Yes I remember that witch. From what I understand you and I have missed a 'fun time' that happened because of her.

I happen to do it with intoxication and sex. Sometimes at the same time. And that leads to waking up at the bottom of a 'fur pile' without any pants.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

Bryn/Johnn

completelyauto
2020-06-04 09:30 pm UTC (link)

Why is that?

I will make note of that. There would be no cosmetic change, just some configurations to attune it to him.

I am unsure anything that witch would have in store for our lot would be considered 'fun.' Should I ask Blank about it?

As I said, we all grieve differently. I do not know how I would have reacted if I were in you or Blank's shoes.

~~Perhaps after I transfer in to my new body, we could give it a test run.. For old time's sake.~~

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Bryn/Johnn brynhild_ingouf 2020-06-05 04:17 am UTC (link)
	Because, I'm me and even though I'm resolute in my decision it doesn't mean that I'm not regretful that it may have hurt you. It's not me you have to convince it's him. Or Scarlet. I didn't get many details after I started growling. I prefer to bottle it up, I just happened to errupt. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

Bryn/Johnn

completelyauto
2020-06-05 04:32 am UTC (link)

I understand most of the rules of time travel, Bryn. If it makes you feel better... Apology accepted.

I do not think that will be that hard of a task.

Yes, Scarlet would most likely give me a better prospective than Blank would. I will ask her in due time, I suppose. But there is something else I am invested looking in to first.

~~As much as it pains me,~~ I understand.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Bryn/Johnn brynhild_ingouf 2020-06-05 05:35 am UTC (link)
	Thank you. I'm not laughing at that I promise. What's that? I've also been told I'm soft, so... Yeah. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Bryn/Johnn completelyauto 2020-06-05 05:54 am UTC (link)
	Of course. I do not understand, why you would? ~~Not at all...~~ It is about Blank.... But, I will come to you when I have investigated it further. I do not wish to make you worry. Hm. Whomever told you that, has no true idea of what they speak. You may have your moments of weakness ~~we all do.~~ But those moments do not add up to being 'soft.' (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Bryn/Johnn brynhild_ingouf 2020-06-05 06:01 am UTC (link)
	Because I know Loki. Johnn. Out with it. He does actually, because he's not wrong. I've changed in the short time I've been here. A lot. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

Bryn/Johnn

completelyauto
2020-06-05 06:53 am UTC (link)

Fair enough, I am just now getting to know him.

It is probably nothing. But when he came to see me, I scanned him and there is an energy around him that I can not quite fathom. When ever I thought I had it trace, it changed to something new...

... That is fair. You are different from what I know.. But, I am unsure if it is 'softness,' though. Then again, I have been here an even shorter time, and have yet to see you in person.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Bryn/Johnn brynhild_ingouf 2020-06-05 08:39 am UTC (link)
	Well, I won't ruin that surprise. Just... be careful. Remember he is a god, and even if you don't worship him, he deserves your respect. Could it be what happened to him in Hell? I almost spared two vampires in our world after they tried to human children their meal. Because of their age. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

Bryn/Johnn

completelyauto
2020-06-05 09:06 am UTC (link)

You know that I am not really a fan of surprise, Bryn... But, he has will forever have my respect for what he did for Scarlet and Blank. But, I will be careful.

I do not know. Is there any one with knowledge of his time in Hell? He did not speak much of it.

This was during "our" time away, correct? When there was a door leading to our world from here? ... I know how you feel about children, and your kin. It must have been a very difficult decision to make, now it is I who owes the apology.