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Severus Snape: Topic: T-shirts
Expecting all his mail to be owl post, he nearly trips on the package left on the stoop. Only nearly, though, because he's not that rusty.
Once he's taken it inside, away from prying eyes, and determined that it's not going to blow up, or leak acids or horrible potions all over him, or grow jaws and bite his hands off, or shoot spikes, or lay on a curse, hex, or jinx, or make him a happy person (bleargh), or make him turn funny colors or grow extra body parts or take necessary ones away or do odd things to his voice or nails or IN ANY WAY make him sorrier than he expects to be, given that he has a panicky Quin with a Beetles shirt still calming down in his lab, that he's opening it (really, he thinks, there's got to be a shortcut), he cautiously opens the flat bundle (doing it all over again after removing the string and then the paper, because either of these could contain an antidetection spell or potion).
After a long, purse-lipped moment, he sighs, and sourly grouses, "Oh, very funny." As he checks it again for all of the above (hey, the tissue paper could also have been a concealment), he ponders the eternal conundrum: transfigure it into a lab coat, or use it as a night shirt? The thought of wearing it where anyone might actually see it, of course, never so much as crosses his mind.
Much.
Once he's taken it inside, away from prying eyes, and determined that it's not going to blow up, or leak acids or horrible potions all over him, or grow jaws and bite his hands off, or shoot spikes, or lay on a curse, hex, or jinx, or make him a happy person (bleargh), or make him turn funny colors or grow extra body parts or take necessary ones away or do odd things to his voice or nails or IN ANY WAY make him sorrier than he expects to be, given that he has a panicky Quin with a Beetles shirt still calming down in his lab, that he's opening it (really, he thinks, there's got to be a shortcut), he cautiously opens the flat bundle (doing it all over again after removing the string and then the paper, because either of these could contain an antidetection spell or potion).
After a long, purse-lipped moment, he sighs, and sourly grouses, "Oh, very funny." As he checks it again for all of the above (hey, the tissue paper could also have been a concealment), he ponders the eternal conundrum: transfigure it into a lab coat, or use it as a night shirt? The thought of wearing it where anyone might actually see it, of course, never so much as crosses his mind.
Much.